How long did it take you?

[rastamoose]

How long after your breakup did it take you to become interested in someone else?

 

I have about 0 interest at the moment. Will I get the feeling back? I don't want to be alone for too long!

 

 

I'm doing ok at the moment and just concentrating on improving myself and my life.

 

 

I know it sounds silly, but I want to be the one to move on to someone else first. I don't know why

[Philosoraptor]

Right away I was interested in meeting other people and exploring life, but not ready for anything.

 

Don't rush yourself, it doesn't matter who moves on first. All that matters is that you make the choices that will lead you to long term happiness.

[JDPT]

Don't focus on what she is or isn't doing or if she has found or has not found anyone yet. Take your time, it's all situational, only you will know when its the right time for you to get back into the swing of things in the dating scene. Don't rush or force yourself into anything. Take this time (as difficult as it is) to get to know yourself deeper and understand what it is that you look for in a partner, what you are willing to tolerate and what you are not and start setting boundaries and standards.

[Inviv_girl]

There is no specific time for this. What matter is You focusing on your self, your happiness and built your self better. It doesn't matter what your ex doing, whether they move on first or last. Again.. they are an ex-, so it doesn't matter. Don't force yourself into something you are not interested. Don't be with someone only because you don't want to be alone, it won't be fair to them. You wouldn't like to be used to get over someone would you?

 

So best is to focus on yourself, achieve your goal and be better person. Love wil l come along without us expecting it. The right time will come eventually.

[Dread Pirate Roberts]

There is no specific time for this. What matter is You focusing on your self, your happiness and built your self better. It doesn't matter what your ex doing, whether they move on first or last. Again.. they are an ex-, so it doesn't matter. Don't force yourself into something you are not interested. Don't be with someone only because you don't want to be alone, it won't be fair to them. You wouldn't like to be used to get over someone would you?

 

So best is to focus on yourself, achieve your goal and be better person. Love wil l come along without us expecting it. The right time will come eventually.

 

I thought, maybe, after three or four months I might be ready to date someone new, after my last relationship. It didn't take me long to realize that wasn't the case. I stayed single for a year or so.

[BeautifulBlueEyes]

Well, I am only (mentally) two weeks out of a break up (reality is two months but it took me a while to accept it *sheepish*) but I currently have zero interest in dating anyone new.

 

Yet, for me - that's not uncommon. I love my ex (a lot) and I don't tend to serial date. I really have to like someone to even consider dating them so it could be six months - 1 year - 5 years before I catch someone new to spark my interest.

 

I am more worried about moving on personally (as in self-development and how the break up is helping me mature) than I am about finding someone new to date. I am SUPER interested in finding new people to hang out with and talk to and get to know but dating someone new...zero motivation. =)

 

Don't worry - if you want it back the feeling will return. Just don't settle on dating someone just so you can be the first to move on. I KNOW my ex will begin dating someone before I do but I'm ok with that. I just value myself more so I won't settle.

[Nicoleiia]

It took me about 6 months to get over being SERIOUSLY hurt, after that I was ready to date again.

[theonlyjuan]

I jumped from a 7 year to my current one I just had within a few months. Nice girl n everything but now realised she was not the one for me. You will know when to move on, you will feel it. Otherwise you will do what I did and end up convincing yourself you live them and everything is great, when it's not.

 

Who cares what she does?

[aloneinaz]

Hum.. I'm going against the grain here. I was in a 1.4 year relationship. We broke up 3 times this year for about two weeks the first two times. The first was mutual. The last two was her ending it during a temper tantrum on her part. She came back to me after the mutal and I chased her down after she ended it the frist time. Again, the first two times, we were broken up 10 days to 2 weeks. The final time she ended it will be the FINAL TIME. I'm done.

 

I will say I REALLY loved this woman. I loved her two kids as well. I hung in there with a lot of BS from her over the last 6 months due to my love for her. The first two weeks after the break up were terrible for me. Couldn't eat, sleep, anxiety, stressed out. Shock that we'd broken up again after she said she wouldn't end it yet again. AWFULL.. I saw she joined a dating site about 6 days after we broke up and that PISSED ME OFF. That in itself was my signal to say FU to her in my head and move on. I joined a couple of dating sites as well. About two weeks after the end, I felt I could date again. Since then, I've went out with 7 diff girls, slept with several of them and in my case, it's what I needed to help me heal. I'm now dating just one girl that I really like. We've agreed to only see each other and see where it goes.

 

Everyone needs to take their own path to healing. I just don't see how sitting home for months, being alone and lonely, dwelling on someone who rejected me is going to help me in anyway. I get the "I want to find someone first" mentality though agree you shouldn't worry about it.

 

Going NC immediantly after the break up has helped me a lot. My only contact with the ex was seeing her on a dating site that I couldnt remove her from. It bothered me at first to see her but I got use to it. It also reinforced in my brain she would rather find someone else than address her problems the led to our relationship failing. Personally, I have too much pride and self esteem to let that bother me for too long.

[mtnbiker3000]

Hum.. I'm going against the grain here. I was in a 1.4 year relationship. We broke up 3 times this year for about two weeks the first two times. The first was mutual. The last two was her ending it during a temper tantrum on her part. She came back to me after the mutal and I chased her down after she ended it the frist time. Again, the first two times, we were broken up 10 days to 2 weeks. The final time she ended it will be the FINAL TIME. I'm done.

 

I will say I REALLY loved this woman. I loved her two kids as well. I hung in there with a lot of BS from her over the last 6 months due to my love for her. The first two weeks after the break up were terrible for me. Couldn't eat, sleep, anxiety, stressed out. Shock that we'd broken up again after she said she wouldn't end it yet again. AWFULL.. I saw she joined a dating site about 6 days after we broke up and that PISSED ME OFF. That in itself was my signal to say FU to her in my head and move on. I joined a couple of dating sites as well. About two weeks after the end, I felt I could date again. Since then, I've went out with 7 diff girls, slept with several of them and in my case, it's what I needed to help me heal. I'm now dating just one girl that I really like. We've agreed to only see each other and see where it goes.

 

Everyone needs to take their own path to healing. I just don't see how sitting home for months, being alone and lonely, dwelling on someone who rejected me is going to help me in anyway. I get the "I want to find someone first" mentality though agree you shouldn't worry about it.

 

Going NC immediantly after the break up has helped me a lot. My only contact with the ex was seeing her on a dating site that I couldnt remove her from. It bothered me at first to see her but I got use to it. It also reinforced in my brain she would rather find someone else than address her problems the led to our relationship failing. Personally, I have too much pride and self esteem to let that bother me for too long.

 

Ahhh AZ... Always the champion for dating rather than sitting and pining. Well, guess what? I AGREE WITH YOU!!! Finally back in the game and have a date tonite. This is the second girl I've been out with. First one was fun, but didn't really go anywhere. I have a feeling this one will end with breakfeast . Very strong connection and chemistry already. And, got another one lined-up in the cue too...

 

Now, don't get me wrong. Was I ready for this, even a few weeks ago? No I wasn't. It took about 4+ months before I felt I was ready. Some will take 2 weeks, others 2 years. It takes as long as it takes. But, I'm finally there, and glad to be. Feels good to be desired again.

 

For those of you freshly crushed, and it seems like a whole new set of screen names, have faith. You will feel better. You will meet someone new. You will... Don't believe me? Read my posts over the past 4 or 5 months and follow my progression. I was once like you, too. Now, finding myself on LS less and less, rather out living and enjoying instead. It can be a long hard road, and will take a real effort and lots of work on your part. But it will pay off!!! Am I 100% over the ex? No, most likely not. But I am past the hump. I've turned the corner.

 

I recommend therapy and reading as many books that resonate with you as possible. Oh, and of course, absolute NC. 100%. Unsure if that helps or is necessary. Well, I am living proof!! It does!!

[aloneinaz]

Ahhh AZ... Always the champion for dating rather than sitting and pining. Well, guess what? I AGREE WITH YOU!!! Finally back in the game and have a date tonite. This is the second girl I've been out with. First one was fun, but didn't really go anywhere. I have a feeling this one will end with breakfeast . Very strong connection and chemistry already. And, got another one lined-up in the cue too...

 

Now, don't get me wrong. Was I ready for this, even a few weeks ago? No I wasn't. It took about 4+ months before I felt I was ready. Some will take 2 weeks, others 2 years. It takes as long as it takes. But, I'm finally there, and glad to be. Feels good to be desired again.

 

For those of you freshly crushed, and it seems like a whole new set of screen names, have faith. You will feel better. You will meet someone new. You will... Don't believe me? Read my posts over the past 4 or 5 months and follow my progression. I was once like you, too. Now, finding myself on LS less and less, rather out living and enjoying instead. It can be a long hard road, and will take a real effort and lots of work on your part. But it will pay off!!! Am I 100% over the ex? No, most likely not. But I am past the hump. I've turned the corner.

 

I recommend therapy and reading as many books that resonate with you as possible. Oh, and of course, absolute NC. 100%. Unsure if that helps or is necessary. Well, I am living proof!! It does!!

 

Great post Mountainbiker!! I'm SSSOOO happy for you that you've reached a point where you're ready for some new female company!! I know you've struggled with letting go of your last ex.. It's not easy, I get that. I still think of my ex as well but it normal. In my head and heart, I know I'm SOO much better w/her out of my life. I went a 110% in that relationship and am proud of how good I was to her and her kids. She was the failure in the relationship, not me. She's heard NOTHING from me nor will she ever again.

 

For the newbies, NC works! Plain and simple. Read all the post of people who are struggling MONTHS after a break up due to limited contact or bread crumbs. You need to cut all ties to your ex. They are you PAST. Worry about you and your future.

 

MB, again, I'm so happy for ya man! Dating has helped me in so many ways. I enjoyed the emailing, texting, flirting, etc.. It's a great distraction and also helps us realize we are desired and wanted by others. Being rejected sucks but sometimes it's not us, it's THEM.

 

MB, keep us updated with your dating news!!