Hoping for some insight.

[Alex.]

Hey there,

 

So me and my Ex girl broke up a week ago. We had been going out for a year and a half and we both love/loved each other immensely.

 

We broke up:

 

On her behalf because she was tired of impacting me negatively with her issues. Shes been suffering from anxiety and depression for a long time and recently has decided to seek help for it. As a result I believe that a lot of things were being brought to the surface, thus making it harder on us both.

 

I also think she needs time for her soul to grow individually, without the needs/pessures/energy consumption of a relationship. I asked her if that was what she had been wanting and she agreed.

 

On my behalf because I was getting tired of being 'the rock' of the relationship, with her only rarely being able to offer support for days when I would feel down. Also because I want the space myself to do things I couldn't music etc, and to learn how to depend on myself more as a person. My energy reserves for these things were constantly depleted as they were willingly spent instead helping and supporting the person I loved. In other words I didn't have enough energy for my wants/needs because I decided to spend it instead on helping her.

 

So we have come to an unspoken understanding that space and growth is what we both need as individuals.

 

 

I conundrum is this. I still love her and incredible amount and think even with all her faults that shes the most amazing person I've ever been with. I'm quite certain she feels the same.

As a result of this I find myself thinking that with the time, space and growth that we both need as individuals we could once more be in love. What do you think of that?

 

 

Any insights appreciated, and thanks for taking the time to help.

 

Alex

[Talulah]

Hey there,

 

So me and my Ex girl broke up a week ago. We had been going out for a year and a half and we both love/loved each other immensely.

 

We broke up:

 

On her behalf because she was tired of impacting me negatively with her issues. Shes been suffering from anxiety and depression for a long time and recently has decided to seek help for it. As a result I believe that a lot of things were being brought to the surface, thus making it harder on us both.

 

I also think she needs time for her soul to grow individually, without the needs/pessures/energy consumption of a relationship. I asked her if that was what she had been wanting and she agreed.

 

On my behalf because I was getting tired of being 'the rock' of the relationship, with her only rarely being able to offer support for days when I would feel down. Also because I want the space myself to do things I couldn't music etc, and to learn how to depend on myself more as a person. My energy reserves for these things were constantly depleted as they were willingly spent instead helping and supporting the person I loved. In other words I didn't have enough energy for my wants/needs because I decided to spend it instead on helping her.

 

So we have come to an unspoken understanding that space and growth is what we both need as individuals.

 

 

I conundrum is this. I still love her and incredible amount and think even with all her faults that shes the most amazing person I've ever been with. I'm quite certain she feels the same.

As a result of this I find myself thinking that with the time, space and growth that we both need as individuals we could once more be in love. What do you think of that?

 

 

Any insights appreciated, and thanks for taking the time to help.

 

Alex

 

I have anxiety and it ca be a relationship killer. I manage it ok on my own but once I am with someone I feel like I can just 'dump' all of my problems on them. I think that she did the right thing for the both of you, she knew it was exhausting for you. If she is serious about finding help for anxiety and depression, then encourage her. Not only for your relationship but for herself. I live abroad and anxiety makes so many situations so much harder to handle. But make sure that while you guys are apart from now on, you are not part of her healing process. She needs to get a handle on this on her own. And then you guys can reconnect.

 

Good luck:bunny:

[Philosoraptor]

If you both work on yourselves and grow positively there is surely a chance that things can make it to the point where they can work out. But don't hang onto this hope and expect anything like that to happen. Just work on your own growth, for yourself, and see what life has to offer you.

[Inviv_girl]

You broke up anyway so nothing to expect anymore. There maybe hope at the end but don't sit around and wait for it. Don't waste your life time waiting for something that might never come. Life only once, make it better! At the end if you two are meant to be it will eventually find its way. For now, work on yourself and move on! Love takes two, if only you work so hard and she on the other hand don't give a sh!!zzt then it won't work!