bluegreen Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Whats surprises you most that you see here on this forum relationships that last years 5-8-7 years and boom on day its all over like it never was and one of them moves on right away. Or ones that are done in same numbers but lasted months only? What are your thoughts on what is most common reason for first and what for second ones ?
AllTooWell Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 This doesn't really answer your question but I'm posting it anyway. Neither surprise me. A relationship can end at any time - 1 day, 1 year, 4 years, or 40. Things can go wrong at any time, things can be IGNORED and then spring up later. Similarly, people can cheat at any time, people can fall in love at any time. In some ways I am more surprised to see people who are posting after a relationship that had less time together because it shows that they are experiencing such great pain over a relationship that wasn't 'that long'. But, the pain is real to them, and it's no use to tell someone "well you weren't even together that long" when they feel like their lives have been turned upside down. I think that the reasons for relationships ending whether they are new or long term are manifestations of the same thing. For example, the new relationship might end because she/he is flirting too much with other people. The LTR might end because of commitment issues. 1
Author bluegreen Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 You brought up some very interesting and insightful points
Philosoraptor Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 From my time here I've noticed the vast majority of the breakups here are because of an issue that has always existed. The longer relationship breakups cite something that the person just wouldn't stop doing, no matter how much they insisted. The shorter ones happen when a foot goes down for that issue earlier. Simply enough, too many people say "I thought it would get better with time" or "Our love was enough to work through it" in the longer breakups. While the shorter ones have more to do with people being observant, and trusting their instincts and what they see from the beginning. 2
Nicoleiia Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 For me, I was completely blindsided by my short relationship breakup. It was awful. I think it is bad for shorter relationships because you are still in the "honeymoon stage" and then it gets cut short for some reason, leaving you in shreds. As far as longterm relationships, you usually see problems along the way, but I guess it hurts more because you've spent time and invested so much in your partner, just for them to dump you. It sucks anyway you look at it.
Harradin Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 I think its more the level of attachment rather then the length of time imho. Short relationships seem to be a lot more intense then a long term which other people have said tends to break down due to a long lasting problem.
Author bluegreen Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 For me, I was completely blindsided by my short relationship breakup. It was awful. I think it is bad for shorter relationships because you are still in the "honeymoon stage" and then it gets cut short for some reason, leaving you in shreds. As far as longterm relationships, you usually see problems along the way, but I guess it hurts more because you've spent time and invested so much in your partner, just for them to dump you. It sucks anyway you look at it. I totally get what you mean
HobGadling Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 A short term relationship leaves you with more what-ifs? A long term relationship can leave you with a greater sense of wasted time.
Author bluegreen Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Another one good point I never thought about what if's until now.
omit Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 (edited) See I am totally at sea with this one, You get in a car crash at day one as a new driver bad luck, you get in two more wrecks not so long apart that's not good mite be bad luck. Get into another wreck or two again not too long after. Something's wrong here...by now insurance company is asking you exactly how do you drive your car? In short I agree with the other poster/ posters some stuff does replicate its self. Bad news is cars hold more than one person. Keeping with the car theme some times getting out and saying sorry is not enough. Understanding why is hard some times I don't like the why in case I really do find its me and my "bad driving" Edited July 20, 2013 by omit
daftpunk Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Neither are particularly surprising, nor are the ways that they play out. Really, once you've read a few stories on here, you've seen them all. We humans aren't as special and unique as we like to think we are sometimes. We're all blind men trying to teach others to see.
JDPT Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 A short term relationship leaves you with more what-ifs? A long term relationship can leave you with a greater sense of wasted time. Absolutely agree. I've been here laying in her trying to relax and thought "I wasted 5 years of my life" but also know that something good has to come out of this.
Author bluegreen Posted July 21, 2013 Author Posted July 21, 2013 Absolutely agree. I've been here laying in her trying to relax and thought "I wasted 5 years of my life" but also know that something good has to come out of this. Am glad you realized that all the bad teaches us how to look for good. Gosh people are such suckers when infatuated all these things I knew I hated and would not be able to stand but was meeeh maybe he will change I'll show him right way. :rolleyes::rolleyes:
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