wantex Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Hi everyone!i am 24 and broke up with my gf 7 months ago...the story goes like this...we were madly in love but i had many issues.i was a closed guy and showed her very often how much i loved het.i supported her every time she needed me.but the last months i became boring and predictable.our nights was dvd in my home..so she told me she loved me but was not in love with me..i was shocked!after i assured there noone else i finally got it.she was bored with me,she wasn't exited at all.i respect her choise.aafter one month i texted her to go for a coffe and said that that would very hard and she felt pressire.dinally i texted her that i was in love with her and i just wanted to know that.nothing more.i went on NC and during that time i worked on myself.i tooko a plastic surgery in the nose,i started gym and tango and became very outgoing..no more dvds at my home!i moved on,completely forgot her.till one week ago.i saw her in the bus station and from that miment i think of her..i am not saying i am in love with her but i would to be.only this time i am different.more mature than before.so my question is this.can i reattract her and fall in love again even deeper this time? I forgot to mention she is single right now-don't know anything else
StrongLass Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 You could probably attract her again with your new changes...but the real question is would you be able to KEEP her? Remember, this is the girl who dumped YOU cause she DIDN'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE THAT WAY. Could be she just wants to be alone since she's still single. Some people do that. If she notices your progress & starts to have second thoughts then that's one thing but that's not what's happening judging from what you said. So what now? Keep doing your thing. There are plenty of other women out there who appreciate men with the drive to improve themselves
Author wantex Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 We were 2 years together You could probably attract her again with your new changes...but the real question is would you be able to KEEP her? Remember, this is the girl who dumped YOU cause she DIDN'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE THAT WAY. Could be she just wants to be alone since she's still single. Some people do that. If she notices your progress & starts to have second thoughts then that's one thing but that's not what's happening judging from what you said. So what now? Keep doing your thing. There are plenty of other women out there who appreciate men with the drive to improve themselves She didn't see me.I was driving she was waiting the bus...our old felationship has died.inside me too.but i don't know.i think i can keep her.she always wanted to have fun,go trips etc.....the first year i wanted the same thing..but somehow i got lost.i wanted to stay home and i became a man with no interests.but now we want the same things...
jerryh Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Hi everyone!i am 24 and broke up with my gf 7 months ago...the story goes like this...we were madly in love but i had many issues.i was a closed guy and showed her very often how much i loved het.i supported her every time she needed me.but the last months i became boring and predictable.our nights was dvd in my home..so she told me she loved me but was not in love with me..i was shocked!after i assured there noone else i finally got it.she was bored with me,she wasn't exited at all.i respect her choise.aafter one month i texted her to go for a coffe and said that that would very hard and she felt pressire.dinally i texted her that i was in love with her and i just wanted to know that.nothing more.i went on NC and during that time i worked on myself.i tooko a plastic surgery in the nose,i started gym and tango and became very outgoing..no more dvds at my home!i moved on,completely forgot her.till one week ago.i saw her in the bus station and from that miment i think of her..i am not saying i am in love with her but i would to be.only this time i am different.more mature than before.so my question is this.can i reattract her and fall in love again even deeper this time? I forgot to mention she is single right now-don't know anything else in a very similar situation to yourself, ex dumped me for exact same reasons. i suppose all we can do is wait, be happy and let them see the positive changes in your life.
Love...a miracle Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 In my view a girl who truly loves you will always be able to love you again even after she has 'moved on'. I believe that true love, like energy, can never be eradicated.
Author wantex Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 i don't know what to believe.can a woman fall in love with you again?or if it's gone it's gone.?inside me i catch my self hoping that if she sees me with my new clothes,looking very happy and active at least she will impressed.but my mind says that there is a big possibility to show indifference. what the women believe?
marym84 Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 (edited) brief story: we were together for a year, he was a sweet guy, i loved him a lot but suddenly i started to become bored, i met another guy and left me boyfriend, he cried, begged me to stay with him, but i felt nothing for him at that point, i feel sorry i hated to see him cry, but i was no longer atracted to him. i left him. 6 months later. i was still with this new guy, who was not perfect. nor was my ex. but i started to compare, and i started to miss my ex, and i started to feel like maybe i had made a mistake, i became curious, my ex had dissapeared. he was gone, no fb. no texts, no phone calls. nothing. a friend told me he saw him at a party and i started to become even more curious. one day i called him, he hung up on me. this guy mastered the no contact rule. tried to call again, hung up again. so i thought oh well, i guess i deserve this, but i was getting more and more desperate, i wanted my ex! and this new guy i was with was nothing compared to him. i think the main reason why a person who dumps you could want you back is going to depend on the way you react, and in how to overcome the break up. i´ll try to summarize what my ex did, and i don´t even think he was trying to get me back, he was trying to move on. - he disappeared, and most importantly, i knew if i wanted to call or ask "how are you" i wasn´t going to find him. - he started jogging, getting in shape, caring for his health. - he will go out with his friends, travel, he looked like he didn´t miss me at all. - he changed, a little bit his style, not completely, he just bought new clothesetc. - the most important thing: he had respect for himself. - being fun doing new things, beach, hiking, things you havent done before. your main goal is to get over your ex, for real! that´s the only way to actually become attractive to them again, to be in control of yourself again. you´re not going to go hiking or traveling in order to get your ex back, no. you´re not going to post pics on fb of every single thing you do, don´t. that will look like you are needy and trying too hard. and that is not attractive, they will know, couple of pics here and there, but don´t go too crazy. what you want to do is become a happier person, more active, more grown, and whole, become a person that you actually admire, and maybe in the process you´ll realize you don´t need your ex anymore. then by the time they return, if they do, you can think about it. you can either decide to give them a chance, or you can say no. but you wont be waiting till the moment comes. hope you understand my point. to continue the story.... after many phone calls that my ex wouldnt´t take i called from a different number, and told him to give me 5 minutes, and he said: what do you want? that´s all he gave me, 5 minutes, i felt like i didn´t have any dignity to apologize, but i apologized, i never said i left him for someone else tho, he wouldn´t have forgave me, he thought we broke up because i was tired of the relationship.. i thought i had fallen out of love but i didn´t, i was deeply inlove with him and we got back together. it took me a lot but he finally gave me a chance. that was 4 years ago, i am still in love with this man to this day. and i am in this forum now because he left me. i have heard many women saying they have fallen back in love after dumping their exs. i did. but i have never heard of a guy who dumps his ex, tells her he doesn´t love her to then return after a couple of months, ii think men and women are different? i don´t know if when i man is no longer attracted to a woman that is the end for real... i don´t know. i posted a thread, asking the guys for opinions, have you ever fell out of love with a woman, and then back in? hope i helped. remember. the only thing that can get you back to your ex, is actually moving on. i respect my ex so much now. i also have to add, i did miss my ex after thinking i didn´t love him anymore, and i got him back. but i have dumped other guys in the past, and i never miss them, i wouldnt even notice if they get plastic surgery, i probably wouldn´t care, so my advice is to move on, don´t sit and wait, if after 8 months- 1 year they´re not around, then they probably wont be back. Edited July 20, 2013 by marym84
Author wantex Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 thanks for your reply!! yes it has happened to me.to fall in love with a woman,break up and after 1 year to fall in love again.but she had to move away so we end the relationship..
hotpotato Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 No one can say for sure if she will come back and stay, but it could happen. Best thing is to live your life (seems like you are already doing this ) and forget about them. Remove yourself from her life. People naturally want to get on a train while its leaving! As an ex you do have a lot of power. I am willing to bet a lot of people reconcile, but they dont hang around sites like Ls once they do.
hotpotato Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 brief i have heard many women saying they have fallen back in love after dumping their exs. i did. but i have never heard of a guy who dumps his ex, tells her he doesn´t love her to then return after a couple of months, i think men and women are different? i don´t know if when i man is no longer attracted to a woman that is the end for real... i don´t know. i posted a thread, asking the guys for opinions, have you ever fell out of love with a woman, and then back in? 8 months- 1 year they´re not around, then they probably wont be back. 1) From what ive read, its generally easier to get a bf back than a gf. Generally, men are more impulsive when it comes to leaving than women. Women are more likely to have issued a lot of warnings and really thought about leaving. Plus, women tend to have male orbiters around them to soften the fall. Op, gfs definitely come back though! 2) I wouldnt get anyones hopes up, but sometimes it takes much more than a year from exes to come back.
Author wantex Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Look one thing is certain.i won't receive a text saying i am sorry i want you back.i have to try to bring her back to me...!
evviebee Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 I too, left a man out of boredom. Fast forward seven years later, I wonder what could have been if I had stayed now that he is married with a child on the way.
Author wantex Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 I too, left a man out of boredom. Fast forward seven years later, I wonder what could have been if I had stayed now that he is married with a child on the way. Did fall out of love too? And most important if you saw him a year later after the BU totally different-new clothes,outgoing and funny-would you get impessed at least?
ddspike21 Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 im sort of in a similar situation, except i got bored of her and got "grass is greener" syndrome and it more or less stemmed from my depression, making me emotionally distant and cold to her because of it, and she thought it was because of her that i was acting that way. Anyway, i forgot where i saw it but it rings true "looking good is the best revenge" except i know you are not seeking revenge on your ex, but improving your self physically definitely helps to pull her back in if the opportunity arises and hopefully makes her go "damn" i let go of that?
Author wantex Posted July 27, 2013 Author Posted July 27, 2013 Any more opinions please???about my question on the topic? I went to her uni but she was ill so she easn't there!!crapppppppo
jerryh Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 man i just read your story and the exact same thing happened to me, been 6 weeks today. she has only made some contact but has called drunk saying she loves and misses me and didnt mean it,which she took back the next day and havent heard from her since.i dont know what we can do tbh, i dont agree with NC however if you want them back, you want them to remember you and show them the person they fell in love with.
Chichirula Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 My boyfriend came back after 6 months after completely shutting himself off to the idea of a relationship with me again. We never did Nc and stayed friends throughout. He came back to me because he did love me but wasn't in love with me but he hoped that would come again. It didn't. We got back together for 8 months and it was great but i could sense he wasn't in love with me. He gave me lots of respect, love and attention but when we had sex i could tell the difference. It felt more like porn sex to be honest. In the end he left because he knew it wasn't fair on me because i loved him deeply. We are now working on the friend bit again but this time i know that we tried but he will just never be in love with me again. It's gone for him
Babolat Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 OP, change for you, not for her. If it's real, and she wants you back, she will make that known. In the meantime live life for you, not her.
Recommended Posts