ECH888 Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Ok so here is a bit of background information. I was with my girlfriend for 10 months, it was a good relationship, we had a few arguments here and there but never anything too serious, we had loads of fun together and we both really cared about each other. About a month ago she broke up with me without much of an explanation, all she said was that she felt like I didn't give her enough attention. So she kicked me out of her place and we haven't spoken since then. I got an email from her earlier on today, this is what it read... Ok so I miss you like crazy. I've learnt that I am capable of having real feelings for someone and can experience heart ache (which I always thought people made up), thanks for showing me that I'm not as emotionally damaged as I thought I was. I really cared about you heck I still do but i hate the fact that something about you drove me so crazy that I acted like a bitch and i can imagine it has left you hating me. This break up has been a roller coaster for me, at first I was ok with it because I felt let down by you at a time I needed you the most but then I became annoyed with myself for relying on someone to try and make me feel better, then i was sad and now I just miss you, I miss the simple things like falling asleep in your arms, the nose kisses, I even miss arguing about my 'lame taste in music', I just miss being your cocoa bear. This message isn't me trying to see if we can give things another try as I feel I lost that chance after the way I behaved, I'm just trying to get my head around it all. I would like to know if you also felt like the relationship was a bit off towards the end or was it just me. Personally i think it was a lot to do with our lack of feelings sharing. I found that as my feelings for you grew it got harder because I didn't really know how you felt which caused me to pull away to avoid getting hurt. The distance thing didn't help either, despite all the conversations we had it almost felt like we had both kinda accepted defeat and didn't expect it to work once you went back to uni. I can't help but think would things be different had I not found out about my dissertation that day and for me that's the worst bit being left wondering what if... Maybe if I hadn't been in such a funk about my dissertation I would have been able to have a conversation with you expressing how I was feeling rather than just flipping out which I regret terribly. I'm sure the last thing you want is me getting in touch so I apologise for sending you this message (or essay) but it's something I needed to get out. Also I was wondering if you would like to talk and clear the air? I feel the way it all finished isn't right, it hurts to think that I may never speak to you again. I'm struggling to understand what it is she was hoping to achieve by sending this. Is she trying to get back with me? Is she just trying to clear her conscience? I don't know whether I should reply to her. Any help/thoughts from you guys will be much appreciated
Neto Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Interesting. Lets just say my gf broke up with me recently (almost 4 weeks ago) and I would be ecstatic to get an email like this from her.
AllTooWell Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 I would say she's trying to clear her conscious while also trying to see if you're still hung up on her. Take her word when she says "I'm not sending this because I want to try again" Don't entertain her b.s
Talulah Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 If she doesn't want to try then, she should have written the letter and put it somewhere else, not send it to you. Don't respond.
aloneinaz Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 I agree.. ignore, ignore, ignore. If she truly wants a second try with you, she'll try again and be more direct.
Salvatore85 Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Normally I would agree and say stand your ground but that was a very mature and reasonable letter. She expressed how she felt and acknowledged that it was mostly her fault, which honestly is astounding. Going out with her to "clear the air" seems like it would be a good idea. If you feel uncomfortable you're at least in a setting where you won't feel backed into a corner. If you like her and you think she's worth another shot then I say go for it. The last thing you want to do is live in regret wondering "what if?"...
Talulah Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Normally I would agree and say stand your ground but that was a very mature and reasonable letter. She expressed how she felt and acknowledged that it was mostly her fault, which honestly is astounding. Going out with her to "clear the air" seems like it would be a good idea. If you feel uncomfortable you're at least in a setting where you won't feel backed into a corner. If you like her and you think she's worth another shot then I say go for it. The last thing you want to do is live in regret wondering "what if?"... This is tricky, if you do you will have expectations and if they get crushed, you might really get hurt.....this is quite tricky. Even if you respond with a "thanks for letting me know", what are you going to do next?
Exitleft Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 "this isnt me trying to get another chance as i feel ive lost it the way ive behaved" Yep she wants you back you all are trippin. I agree with underground, she sounds like she is testing the waters to avoid disappointment. I think she wants you back, even so be careful a month isn't much time. Good luck.
Omei Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 If your 100% over her Just ignore it. If you still care for her it does sound like she actually misses you and might be saying stuff like "im not trying to get back with you, I lost my chance etc etc" just to make sure your not scared away if her intention is to try to get back into your life, id say go see if it doesn't turn out to be what you want go NC again.
bluegreen Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 "this isn't me trying to get another chance as i feel i lost it the way i behaved" She is after tugging on your heartstrings if it works great if not no loss
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