billups2 Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Hey everyone, this is my first post and I simply have no one to talk to about this situation, which honestly kind of sucks. You guys seem to have solid responses and great advice about a lot of things so I'll give a go at this.. I met this girl back in January, we started talking and hung out for a bit. Then we started going out in February, which seems a little quick, but we are in college and things tend to stay relatively connected with each other. ANYWAYS...I am really confused about this girl. We weren't really tooo close in the beginning, but, we did still hang out a lot and our sex life was great. I knew she was talking to her ex and a few other guys (she claims it was just small talk) while I wanted revenge on that by becoming good friends with a total **ut. Things progressed, summer happened. I was lonely at home and she never seemed to come by. I had a small inkling something was up but I never got a chance to speak up because we simply weren't like that in the beginning. We joked a lot which kept us interested in each other then. Anyways, I found out that she hung out with her ex...she told me she was hanging out with a friend in LA. I was fine with that, I didn't have a problem with her hanging out with friends back at school. She said she it was "pretty fun" and later changed it to "wasn't fun" after a few arguments of slamming her down on that. I later found out through a cruel social media way that she was hanging out with her ex-boyfriend. I was completely ashamed and went on a rant to her about it. She apologized and immediately cut all ties with him after that. Weeks went by, and I am still skeptical about her possibly cheating on me or why she hung out with him. She claims that she only hung out with him because they were just "friends" and that she didn't have anyone else to hang out with. She claims she wanted to hang out with me, but, I looked like I wasn't having fun (true because I had a feeling she was talking to a lot of guys). She also said that they used to be great friends and always had fun together. I am still debating on whether or not I should still be going out with this girl. I love her a lot, and she makes the initiative to have me trust her (she constantly texts, sends pictures, etc). She drives 30-60 mins, 2-3 times a week to come hang out with me. Our sex life is great, but her cold personality kind of shuns me away....what should I do??? What would you guys do??? I know that was a long post, but I truly thank anyone who read this entire thing. It means a lot, because I love this girl a lot but it is a little hard for me to trust her sometimes.
Author billups2 Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 She also was crying one night, because she didn't want to lose me and constantly was telling me that she never cheated on me. I am a skeptic because of past relationships which makes me ponder a lot about this whole thing.
Neto Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 It doesn't sound like this girl wants to be serious with you but wants to date casually. You are at a point where you need to decide if you are ok with that. You can either move the relationship to something more serious, keep the current casual relationship, or leave it and try to find what your looking for somewhere else. All relationships involve compromise. If you want her to compromise herself by avoiding these relationships that she obviously enjoys, then you need to be a great enough catch that she's willing to give that up. It sounds like she's trying to have her cake and eat it too though. Trust is a big deal in a relationship.
Author billups2 Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 I am not sure about dating casually. She doesn't talk to her ex anymore after a fight and doesn't really talk to anyone else. She has a lot of jealousy issues and I understand so I don't talk to any girls other than her. I trust her half the time....the other half is kind of blocked off but I could pry it out of her because she isn't a very open person. I am honestly confused and just lost. Thanks for your response though!
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