JDPT Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Feeling very lonely tonight, thought about driving by her house, for what? what good will that bring? nothing but more heartache! I hate these moments, I keep rerouting my thoughts towards things that actually matter, the mind understand but the heart hurts like hell. I just want this night to go by already.
bluegreen Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 They are bound to happen it hurts but it will stop : Go take a hot shower get some chocolate that always works and go to sleep before you know it it will be morning. Sounds bit condescending does it not but its not just for no reason said "Tomorrow is new day" NC contacts and healing sometimes seem to drag like snails but many people have over come this. Some are at 4 me at 3 some half a year some year already and OK You will get there to allow yourself some hurt but do not make a mistake of nursing that hurt EVER. 1
Steelergirl Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 You're not alone, I thought of driving by his house today too, not sure why. So I could see the new girl's car parked there? At his house, where he would act like he couldn't wait for me to leave whenever I was there and she's probably living there after a week together? Ya, no thanks, that's a stab in my heart I don't need to feel. Plus what if they saw us, stalkers!! Nah, this too, shall pass, hang in there. 2
Jenny1234 Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 stay sting... Do some stupid activity around the house and stay away from your phone or computer. Then go to bed early. Fold socks ...wash counters ...organize ..anything 1
Author JDPT Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 They are bound to happen it hurts but it will stop : Go take a hot shower get some chocolate that always works and go to sleep before you know it it will be morning. Sounds bit condescending does it not but its not just for no reason said "Tomorrow is new day" NC contacts and healing sometimes seem to drag like snails but many people have over come this. Some are at 4 me at 3 some half a year some year already and OK You will get there to allow yourself some hurt but do not make a mistake of nursing that hurt EVER. That's what I keep telling myself I can't give into these moments. I broke NC on Tuesday night by sending her an email and I felt terrible afterwards. My mind tells me not to embarrass myself any further but my heart has no clue what to do, it certainly is a battle. And I keep saying, "just one more time, just one more time" (chuckle) it will never be enough, it will never be just a last time, it will only progress and get bigger until it grows so out of control that I'm left to deal with all these feelings all by myself. So I rather not allow it to get any bigger and put an end to those thoughts immediately before they get very out of control. Sounds like I know what to do, yes? but it's so damn difficult.
Jenny1234 Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 It's Thursday so that means you have gone 2 days of NC.. Be proud of that and keep it going. You'll be happy you did. 1
LovelyScars Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 There are in times where you will question yourself and start thinking maybe you'll regret not going back with that person but time keeps going and the memories stay and someday you'll look back and remember the fond memories. It will pass in time, don't worry. 1
Author JDPT Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 You're not alone, I thought of driving by his house today too, not sure why. So I could see the new girl's car parked there? At his house, where he would act like he couldn't wait for me to leave whenever I was there and she's probably living there after a week together? Ya, no thanks, that's a stab in my heart I don't need to feel. Plus what if they saw us, stalkers!! Nah, this too, shall pass, hang in there. It's like I'm a glutton for punishment. What if I drive by her house and her car is not there, where is she? who is she with? what is she doing? All these thoughts will only consume me and leave me in a worst place than where I am right at this moment. I wish I just didn't give a **** about her or any of her dealings anymore.
bluegreen Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 That's what I keep telling myself I can't give into these moments. I broke NC on Tuesday night by sending her an email and I felt terrible afterwards. My mind tells me not to embarrass myself any further but my heart has no clue what to do, it certainly is a battle. And I keep saying, "just one more time, just one more time" (chuckle) it will never be enough, it will never be just a last time, it will only progress and get bigger until it grows so out of control that I'm left to deal with all these feelings all by myself. So I rather not allow it to get any bigger and put an end to those thoughts immediately before they get very out of control. Sounds like I know what to do, yes? but it's so damn difficult. OK did you blocked her email like we told you to? If not then you are causing this to yourself will keep posting same stuff and eventually no offense people will give up on you. Block her e mail face instant messenger BLOCK ALL If you feel like mourning afterwards its fine cry if that's what you wish to BUT make those steps toward getting your control back. Or keep posting here waiting for date people say come on get over it dude What will it be ?
Author JDPT Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 You're not alone, I thought of driving by his house today too, not sure why. So I could see the new girl's car parked there? At his house, where he would act like he couldn't wait for me to leave whenever I was there and she's probably living there after a week together? Ya, no thanks, that's a stab in my heart I don't need to feel. Plus what if they saw us, stalkers!! Nah, this too, shall pass, hang in there. That would be the ultimate embarrassment for me, to be viewed as a stalker, no ****ing way!
Author JDPT Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 OK did you blocked her email like we told you to? If not then you are causing this to yourself will keep posting same stuff and eventually no offense people will give up on you. Block her e mail face instant messenger BLOCK ALL If you feel like mourning afterwards its fine cry if that's what you wish to BUT make those steps toward getting your control back. Or keep posting here waiting for date people say come on get over it dude What will it be ? It's been blocked that's the only thing I can block her from. She never had a fb as far as I knew, so that cancels itself out.
Steelergirl Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 That would be the ultimate embarrassment for me, to be viewed as a stalker, no ****ing way! Exactly! That's why no way, no how, will we do it. Plus, whatever we see there will only set us back in our healing. Stay strong, no good would come of it.
Author JDPT Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 Exactly! That's why no way, no how, will we do it. Plus, whatever we see there will only set us back in our healing. Stay strong, no good would come of it. Absolutely right, it will only dig a deeper hole than the one we are already trying to come out of. I need to fight all these urges, and remain strong and in control. I am in control of this and I won't allow this moment to ruin my healing process, it's just a moment. 1
bluegreen Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 It's been blocked that's the only thing I can block her from. She never had a fb as far as I knew, so that cancels itself out. Excellent we are proud of you Its great start now you did take her phone number of your phone as well ? Moments like this lead to sending that one "last" text and bring on pain and humiliation that burns worse then fire. If you done both and have nothing hers around you any items you have all the ground to start walking toward recovery and actually making it happen. You will have these moments but they will last only as much as you let them? Just few minutes ago I was on face and can you believe I did not even consider "unblocking" him or peeking at his page ? Yet just a few months ago I was were you were it happens you just can't be swishy washy about it train your mind to stop slam as soon as you start feeling like you are now. Eventually mind like well trained puppy get it
Author JDPT Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 Excellent we are proud of you Its great start now you did take her phone number of your phone as well ? Moments like this lead to sending that one "last" text and bring on pain and humiliation that burns worse then fire. If you done both and have nothing hers around you any items you have all the ground to start walking toward recovery and actually making it happen. You will have these moments but they will last only as much as you let them? Just few minutes ago I was on face and can you believe I did not even consider "unblocking" him or peeking at his page ? Yet just a few months ago I was were you were it happens you just can't be swishy washy about it train your mind to stop slam as soon as you start feeling like you are now. Eventually mind like well trained puppy get it I do take this very militant approach and play all these mind games in order to reroute my thoughts and tell myself that moving on is the only option. I have gotten rid of everything I possible can of hers, I actually did that a few weeks ago so I have nothing to reference to. Ideally I will like to "delete" all thoughts of her but I know that's just wishful thinking. I need to continue working on my healing process because that's all that matters at this point.
AllTooWell Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Stay strong I am also having one of those nights... May be just the time of month () but I got tearful for no reason and then was OVERCOME by the urge to reach out to him. I don't want him to forget about me or to think I've moved past him. I went over in my head that a million times, and then the fact that he didn't fight for me sunk in. He didn't fight, he didn't want me back. He let me go. He KNOWS I still care and am in NC to heal. And he isn't chasing me down. Once that sunk in I ate some icecream and told myself to calm the **** down. I am clearly in NO place to consider breaking NC yet ahahh 1
bluegreen Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 thedills05 Member Join Date: May 2013 Posts: 43 NC For the win Soooo, Upon returning from holiday, the ex has gone overboard with contact. A text the last day of hol - "Are you really going to never talk to me again, I take it a Coffee is off the cards" - Ignored. An email along the same lines, then another email saying "Are you really going to ignore me forever?", then a text later that day saying she'd really like to go for a drink at some point. Aaaaaand finally, a call at 3am this morn. All ignored. The best bit of all this is I do not give a damn. I've met so many fun people and had SUCH a good time since we've broken up, I have no desire to be sucked back into her web again EVER. Maybe one day I'll give her a call to thank her for putting me in the situation I now find myself but for now, she can come to terms with the reality of her shi*$y decisions a few months ago. WHEN IT'S OVER, IT'S OVER. THIS is your goal work toward it. See I was just not talking how people can and do this they actually DO and you will be able to as well if you want it bad enough and work at it hard hard enough. Rewards are as you can see so sweet besides is this honestly worst issue you have no if so you are blessed because some of us manage-d ones you would not believe plus this. 1
supaflyz Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Stay strong my friend. I actually drove by my ex house a few times. My friend stays near by just a few streets down. Don't do it. It will only make you feel worse.
Author JDPT Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 Stay strong my friend. I actually drove by my ex house a few times. My friend stays near by just a few streets down. Don't do it. It will only make you feel worse. I know the feeling. The house where you were once welcomed and spend time with in, now all you can do is drive by it. We save ourselves future grief by just not doing it anymore because the outcome is always the same, we end up hurting ourselves.
Echo000 Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 i had a super hard afternoon today..seems like we all are having a tough go of things tonight. almost broke nc and my block to say "one last thing"..to somehow "make her understand". It FUC**ING sucks. but this while "one last time" and "her understanding" is bullsh**. They DONT care as much as we do. Simple. We need to keep it moving. As hard as it is. Worst/hardest thing iv ever had to do. In a sense, dealing with the death of a loved one was easier, because there was a closure/wholeness to it. This kind of thing, you can only find closure in yourself. By leaving the pieces on the ground and moving on. Just. Like. That. No other way.
Talulah Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 That would be the ultimate embarrassment for me, to be viewed as a stalker, no ****ing way! that would keep me in the house. I like going to bed early:laugh:
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