Woop1337 Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 I've been working at this retail store for 14 months, and Im attracted to my coworker. She is witty and we have good and consistent back and forth banter. But I did not pursue her initially because she had a boyfriend. We didnt even exchange numbers till the 8th month mark, and that was her initiative. If she was single, I wouldve asked her for her number the very first shift we had together. As the months passed, I found myself increasingly enamored by her, even then the bantering was still back and forth. During the past holiday season, around late december, her boyfriend of 5 years broke up with her. Naturally, I planned to ask her out on a date. After a week and a half of them breaking up, as we were leaving the store, I asked her on a date the coming week (early Jan). And she said, "I dont want anyone right now, it was a 5 year relationship, its hard". And thats verbatim. Took that rejection like a man, didnt pout neither and we left it like that. Even after that, she would still text me our inside jokes or funny memes. Kept my responses to a bare minimum but friendly. During the coming weeks and months I gradually talked to another girl and we dated for 5 months. (jan-june) It didnt work out, and it just fizzled. In one telling instance though, as I was dating the other girl, twice my co worker told me that there's this one restaurant she wanted to try. Maybe she was hinting for me to ask her on a date? Usually girls dont outright ask guys on dates but they hint on it, no? I didnt take it, because I was dating someone else. So now its July, Im single, shes single. Should I ask her out again? Was her initial rejection even considered rejection? She didnt say she only wanted to be friends. Then again anything but a yes, is rejection. Our bantering is still consistently strong even today. Is a woman's rejection always final in your book? I dont want to be rebuffed twice by a woman who I see 3 out of 7 days.
Eggplant Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 The first rejection didn't count. She was emotionally unavailable to consider dating. Ask her again. If she rejects you again, consider yourself rejected really only once.
shexy Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Yeah, the first time you asked it was WAY too soon after her and her bf just broke up. Things are different now. Go ahead and ask.
Author Woop1337 Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Thanks everyone for the insight, but i may have omitted one important fact. So her bf of 5 years broke up with her late dec. I asked her on a date and got rejected early jan. approx, 1 1/2 weeks after I asked her, she had a new bf (mid jan). Doesnt that contradict her saying " I don't wan anyone right now"? Anyways that contradiction was one of the driving reasons why I actively looked to date( successfully so), weeks after the initial rejection. I was going to be sour if I kept my fixation on her. Should I still pursue? Boh of us are single presently.
RebelWithoutACause Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 You've nothing to lose by asking her out. However, most women, if sufficiently interested, do not have a problem asking a male friend out on a friendly outing, if they were interested. The fact she hasn't done that, plus the fact she was dating someone within a week of turning you down doesn't bode well for your chances.
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