ddlovexx Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Hey LS, Long story short got out of a terrible relationship a few months ago. Just been casually dating, not looking for anything. Not ready for anything serious but also not necessarily running away from it when the time comes. Guy #1 - So, I met a great guy two weeks ago. 26 y/o. Treats me like a princess- does everything for me, takes me everywhere, doesn't let me spend a dime. And he genuinely is really into me. I do like him, but not as much as he likes me at this point. I've let him know to back off a llittle and that I just want to take things and see where they go and he's okay with it. If my feelings don't grow, I know I'll have to walk away. Guy #2 - I met a guy a week ago through mutual friends and he asked me out. 28 y/o. It turned into a three hour date and definitely connected. Lots of laughing and talking, it was fun. We went back to his place and there was some making out but I didn't want to rush anything even though it felt natural. After one day, guy #2 has hit me with "I don't want you to see anybody else." I try to explain I'm not ready and he kinda goes off and isn't happy about it. Says I should just stick with the jerkoffs that treat me like **** anyway (he was obviously being immature.) I tried to explain that one date and then asking for exclusivity is a bit much, that I'm not ready for a relationship. He says he isn't either. Exclusivity, to me, is pretty much a relationship... no? He says I don't like him enough then if I can't just choose him at this point. It's just all so frustrating and I'm annoyed that I #1 can't seem to fall for this perfect guy and #2 the other guy is ruining what could potentially amount to something good in the future. Any input? I'm feeling pretty lousy at the moment...
jphcbpa Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Sounds like you just need more time and neither one of these guys are what you looking for long term. Keep having fun and keep things light. Keep growing as a person and loving on yourself. Don't beat yourself up, it is what it is. 1
twinkie0 Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Oh, man. The century-old issue: One guy genuinely cares for you but you're not into him that much, and the other guy you're really into just happens to be a possesive, jealous douche (*girly voice* but it feels so right). Exclusivity is, in fact, a relationship. Just make up your mind so you don't hurt either one of them. The only reason im trying to level with you is because you say you feel bad about it, so you don't have bad intentions. But remember, intentions or not, you can still hurt people. 1
oldshirt Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Any 28 year old guy that would insist on you not seeing anyone else after a 3 hour date and a alittle making out will have a place for you where you won't b able to see anyone else......... under his crawlspace!! 1
TheGuard13 Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 I would say keep seeing the first guy. He's the one you seem to be most compatible with, in terms of what you want, if not in terms of chemistry. Just because you don't feel like you like him much now doesn't mean you won't. You may just have some walls up. You seem to be not rushing into anything at the moment anyway. 1
ChatroomHero Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 I would say drop guy #1. The longer you go the deeper his connection will be. To keep him around you'll be playing a game of just giving him enough rope to eventually hang himself with. You like the attention from guy #1 but you are not into him. You know you will not suddenly wake up one day and want to be with him so you would just be using him until one day you stop responding to his calls and texts and send him to make his own post about incredible frustration. Put yourself in guy #1s position, how would you want to be treated, strung along? Guy #2 doesn't get where you are at and that is fine but not going to work based on what you both want. I can see his point a bit, if he is not a multi-dater it is hard to handle going out with someone and wondering if the sweet little things you say to him are sweeter than the things you say to the other guy. It's hard to have to wonder if the taste of your lip gloss contains the spit of some other dude. I don't think you are doing anything wrong, but if you string guy #1 along you would be in my opinion. If you respect him, then prove it by letting him find someone he deserves.
Author ddlovexx Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 I would say keep seeing the first guy. He's the one you seem to be most compatible with, in terms of what you want, if not in terms of chemistry. Just because you don't feel like you like him much now doesn't mean you won't. You may just have some walls up. You seem to be not rushing into anything at the moment anyway. I think this is a big component of it... I'm very guarded and wounded right now. He knows the circumstances and he chooses to stay because of the potential. We have a lot of fun together and of course there is some chemistry or I wouldn't even bother. I think I should give it some more time but I also know that if things don't grow too much anytime soon, I have to be honest. To everyone who made comments about #2... don't worry... pretty much figured out today that he's psycho and I want nothing to do with him. Even though I did have a good time with him, he's completely scared me away in a way that no guy has ever done. He's been hot and cold all day, literally bipolar. No thanks! Thanks for all the help LS
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