It-is-what-it-is. Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 I am wondering if she even ever had love or true feelings for me, as she asserts. Can one cheat and still love the one they cheated on? Or be IN love with the one they cheated on? Many cheaters say they love the one they cheated on. Strange but true. You can read examples of this I. OW/OM forum. I say, these people cannot know what love is, if they willingly do this. I say, that they can only be selfish if they willingly do this. So I say no, they can't. If that's love then no thanks. As for the counseling. Only you can answer for that. You heard what you heard, and you know what you know. Attending counseling is to somehow fix a problem...is it fixable? Again only you could know, but I don't think you can fix it when she is still lying and denying and not on her hands and knees filled with remorse and willing to move heaven and earth to make it up to you. I didn't hear you say that, so again, my answer is no, why gutt yourself again why put yourself I the position of hearing her excuses? Seems like a lose lose. What do YOU want? 1
itto ogami Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 "Only the guilty run." This. I knew a guy who was embezzling thousands of dollars from a store i worked at. I thought he was the coolest person there. When he was confronted by the managers -- he LITERALLY RAN FROM THE STORE. Your ex did the same thing - an insane act that shows she felt LITERALLY TRAPPED by the truth. And she ran off instead of even denial. YOU ARE LUCKY AND BLESSED to be free of her. She sounds insane. No counseling. Move on. NC.
Author Chris5012 Posted July 24, 2013 Author Posted July 24, 2013 She IS crazy. No doubt about it, thinking she wouldn't get caught. Cheating on me, while about to get proposed to (said she would say yes), in front of all families, how stupid! Even if she cheated to subvert the marriage, instead of working things out, how stupid to get caught! She will spin it eternally as my having gotten cold feet, but I played the tape to responsible persons so more than I know of her infidelity. Eventually, the truth will percolate out and her reputation will suffer by her own hand. Not good for a 38 year old woman who wants desperately to get married and have kids-what husband would want to be with a professional women who does gangbangers during courtship/engagement?
Chi townD Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 Has she tried to contact you since? And what are the families asking?
Author Chris5012 Posted July 24, 2013 Author Posted July 24, 2013 yes, indirectly; what really happened though she has convinced most of her peeps I am evil. But not all.
It-is-what-it-is. Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 yes, indirectly; what really happened though she has convinced most of her peeps I am evil. But not all. Do you care?
Author Chris5012 Posted July 27, 2013 Author Posted July 27, 2013 Do you care? Yes, I had established more than cordial relations with them and they are a respectable (well, not her) family. I will write them a letter explaining my side.
Author Chris5012 Posted July 27, 2013 Author Posted July 27, 2013 Update- reviewed more tape with special background noise reduction software...she did yet another guy in her house 2 weeks before the break up. Another guy. YES, I DID dodge a bullet...more like an artillery shell.
It-is-what-it-is. Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 (edited) Oh goodness.... How you doing? Have you told anyone you broke up because she cheated? As far as her family you can tell them that you found out she was being unfaithful, and that you hope they get her help, because she will need it. Edited July 27, 2013 by It-is-what-it-is.
It-is-what-it-is. Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 Skid. I only recommended the "get her help" comment because he said he cared what her family thinks. He needs to correct the record that he just didn't get cold feet. Telling the to get her help implies its, more than her just having a date with someone else, without the gory details. He dodged a bullet and is lucky to have found out before getting married and having kids. I don't fully agree with your assessment of womenz, but that's ok too
Author Chris5012 Posted July 27, 2013 Author Posted July 27, 2013 She surely IS damaged goods. No doubt about it. I pity her, that she can never marry (at least not with a sane individual) anyone, and relegates herself to a lifetime of short-term flings, with no long-term stability in a loving marital relationship. I am a "nice" guy who noticed that both she and her family pushed the engagement and wedding hard and fast (no pun intended. Now I understand why-so that enough time did not elapse to where her pathologies come to light. Thankfully, my surveillance saved me a lifetime of misery, much more than I suffer with now. I'm sad she's hurting and seeking temporary relief from gangbanger sex, but once they discard her, she will hit a bottomless pit, for sure.
Author Chris5012 Posted August 4, 2013 Author Posted August 4, 2013 yes, she has called twice in the last 2 weeks, around midnight or early morning hours, per my caller ID (I didn't pick up). Must be in the "woe is me, I fuC%&^ed up, take me back" stage. Or just drunk and stupid.
Author Chris5012 Posted August 4, 2013 Author Posted August 4, 2013 Update- She promised to appear "soon, for sure" for the joint meeting with our Christian counselor for closure on 7/17; it is now 8/3. More evidence of a guilty mind, cowardice at its most shining example. lol A "professional" lawyer with no morals, sense of decency, honor, dignity, self-respect, or mental stability (i.e., impaired judgment). To be honest, my grieving period has prematurely ended for no other reason than self-pride in my having successfully thwarted her malicious, devious plan to cuckhold me to my grave and suck every last dollar out of me she possibly could. I only wanted to be friends if she would have admitted it and had given me an explanation. But now, the tapes are out there, and the volume is on. Others are hearing it in disbelief. Even one of her family members heard it and said I did the right thing in protecting myself. While some said I "lost" to the bad boy bangers, I feel I actually won on this one. Good guys have to win sometime.
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