petall Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 (edited) This guy I met online broke up with me. We had been emailing and talking on the phone for around 3 months. We had so much in common, could never run out of things to talk about and I felt an immediate ease with him. We were just so similar. We never got to meet because I was working away outside the country. I recently felt he was going off (less emails when we would email almost everyday) but I knew he had a very demanding job so I tried to understand that about him and not make a big deal. I did tell him I feel a little ignored if we don't contact each other for days. I am not a clingy person normally but we all get these feelings of insecurity now and then and I thought it would be healthy to talk about them so he knows I love hearing from him. He said he understood and our conversation ended well. The next week however, he did not email me for an entire week! Sure he could have been very busy but one tiny email would have taken mere seconds to write. I lost it and accused him of not caring at all about me or looking after our relationship. He emailed saying he did not like I lost my temper and basically we were over. I told him I wanted to talk things over. No reply ever. It's been a journey and I have tried to process this myself. Basically, this guy was obviously a douche: - no compassion - did not show me respect - character shows refusal to face conflict - thought of self only - couldn't rely on him to understand and sympathize, and be there for me Would appreciate anyone's views? Edited July 18, 2013 by petall
Philosoraptor Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Well the two of you never met and you obviously had different views on communication. His actions are his and yours are yours. This was an incompatibility and better to end it sooner than hold on and do it later.
salparadise Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 I lost it and accused him of not caring at all about me or looking after our relationship. Would appreciate anyone's views? What relationship? How could you characterize this as a relationship when never even met the guy? Here's my perspective... don't ever get overly invested in emailing, chatting, etc., online. Establish a rapport, keep it light and fun, and arrange to meet right away to see if there is chemistry or any basis for starting a relationship. There is a definite limit as to how far cyber can go before it just collapses under its own weight. You gotta meet while enthusiasm is peaking or it's going to... well, what just happened. Keep it real - living in a fantasy is not healthy. 1
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