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Girl thinks I asked her out and I didn't, what to do?

waterboy

By waterboy
in General Relationship Discussion

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waterboy Member

waterboy

Posted
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I am in need of some advice because i managed to put myself into a sticky situation.

 

I've been dating this girl jasmin for about 3 months. Things were going really well and i was starting to really fall for her. THen her exhusband found out how well things were going and threw a fit...he caused more drama than i care to get into, but it involves the cops and protective orders and ransom notes and all sorts of craziness. So she decided to take a break from meso that she can get her life straightened out so that she can focus on a relationship when the time is right. Plus i didn't want her to equate me with all the drama in her life when she is ready for that part to be behind her.

 

anywho, after we broke things off I ran into her best friend Crystal at a bar. We hung out and i told her what had happened. How she broke up with me and everything. We talked for about a half hour or so and had a drink. That was it, nothing more, nothing less.. She called me the next day because she was going to oktoberfest and i had told her i was going out there too. Our plans changed because it was raining and i told her i wasn't going to go and woudl think about maybe goin on sunday with my friends. No big deal, right? Well I text messaged her sunday to let her know my friends and i were headed out to oktoberfest and if she was goign to be out there then call me and i'd come say hi.. THATS ALL I SAID..

 

so she called jasmin and told her i asked her out on a date to oktoberfest which really kinda hurt jasmin's feelings because i told her i didn't want to date anyone else besides her and she thinks i asked out her best friend.. i don;t like crystal, i'm not attracted to her and to be completely honest i think she's kind of a bitch. THe only reason i talked to her was because jasmin told me that she felt i didn't really like her friends because i was quiet when they were all around..so i was being nice to prove that i really did like hangin out with her friends..

 

now what do i do? crystal thinks i like her and jasmin thinks i like crystal, and i don't.. i only want to be with jasmin when the time is right.. how do i fix things?

 

i can't just call crystal and say "uh, i didn't frikkin ask you on a date, numbnuts"

 

can i? i dont want to piss off crystal because she has a big influence in jasmins life and i dont want any drama but i dont want jasmin thinking i like her friend...

 

 

any advice is appreciated..i'm stuck

tiki Established Member

tiki

Posted
Posted

Call Crystal and let her know that she got the wrong impression. Do your work, then call Jasmin. But not until!!! Explain to Jasmin what happened, and clarify to her that you've already cleared it up...and that you'd want her over her friend anyday. :o

Merin Established Member

Merin

Posted
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Ugh! What a sucky situation!

 

Well... while it wouldn't be a good idea to call Crystal and say what you suggested :laugh: It is still a good idea to clarify exactly what your intentions were there...

 

So, yeah.. call Crystal and (be nice) but straight forward. Tell her you apologise if she got the idea that you were asking her on a date.. that it wasn't your intention to give her that idea because you are 1) still hoping you and Jasmin will be able to work things out 2) You would never date one of Jasmins friends regardless if you and she got back together and 3) You only see her as a friend.

 

Jasmin... ransom notes? Protective orders? :eek:

 

Crap! I don't know waterboy... I would think that what happened with Crystal would be pretty damn small in comparison to her EX husband? Sheesh!

 

AND IMHO... Jasmin really doesn't get a say in whom you date or see... she's the one who wanted distance...

 

Good Luck

Barby Established Member

Barby

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Listen to tikibrandy, that would be the best thing to do....honestly I think that Jasmin would be more understanding if indeed you call "crystal" first to let her know that YOU DID NOT ask her out, she got the wrong impression...that you are NOT interested in her in that way........sounds to me like she wasn't being a very good friend to Jasmin to be quite honest. Get this cleared up now before Jasmin really starts to believe it and starts disliking you........

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waterboy Member

waterboy

Posted
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It is a sticky situation.. it sucks really bad because she already thinks i dont like her friends because i get quiet around them and i'm the most open person in my group of friends.. i'm just getting "used to them" i guess.. now if i call crystal and piss her off by saying "i didn't ask you out, you wish!" then she is not going to help convince jasmin to work things out with me and if we do get back together and her best friend doesn't like me then its going to be even worse when we are all hanging out together..

 

her exhusband is being a jerk because he thinks i'm trying to become his daughters new daddy..which i'm not, i love her to death and she really likes me but she knows who her daddy is..and its not me.. he's really intimidated by me because he's a loser and i've been pretty succesful and he thinks i'd be able to provide a better lifestyle for his daughter than he would, therefore making her love me more than him...his concerns are justified, his actions are not.. but thats a totally different situation..

 

should i tell crystal that SHE was the one that was mistaken? or should i just say that i shouldn't have asked her out, even though i didn't!

tiki Established Member

tiki

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by waterboy

if i call crystal and piss her off by saying "i didn't ask you out, you wish!"

 

:eek: Don't do this!!!!! OMG you don't want to completely piss her off dude, go easy on her. It innocently could've looked the way it did...you've got to chill. Or you'll run all of them off....even the one you DON'T want!

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waterboy Member

waterboy

Posted
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Originally posted by tikibrandy

:eek: Don't do this!!!!! OMG you don't want to completely piss her off dude, go easy on her. It innocently could've looked the way it did...you've got to chill. Or you'll run all of them off....even the one you DON'T want!

 

 

I need to just call and tell her i had a terrible case of "foot-in-mouth" disease over the weekend and there was a misunderstanding.. i think i might play it off like "i asked you out there because i have a friend i wanted to introduce you to, i think you guys would have hit it off pretty well.. i, however, still have my fingers crossed about me and jasmin working things out"..

 

 

which is about 77.45% true.. because i have told crystal theres a friend of mine i wanted her to meet sometime.. i just didn't mention that in the message to her..

 

 

your thoughts girls?

Barby Established Member

Barby

Posted
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should i tell crystal that SHE was the one that was mistaken? or should i just say that i shouldn't have asked her out, even though i didn't!

 

Why would you accept responsibility for something you claim you didn't do? If you didn't ask her out don't pretend you did. If you did and are sorry that she got you busted then you should I guess apologize for asking her out.

 

If she was mistaken be nice about it and let her know you're sorry for the confusion and that it was NOT your intention..that there was a misunderstanding that you're clearing up now.....

tiki Established Member

tiki

Posted
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I like your idea waterboy. Do the dirty work before you contact the other girl though. Good luck. :)

Merin Established Member

Merin

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by waterboy

I need to just call and tell her i had a terrible case of "foot-in-mouth" disease over the weekend and there was a misunderstanding.. i think i might play it off like "i asked you out there because i have a friend i wanted to introduce you to, i think you guys would have hit it off pretty well.. i, however, still have my fingers crossed about me and jasmin working things out"..

 

 

which is about 77.45% true.. because i have told crystal theres a friend of mine i wanted her to meet sometime.. i just didn't mention that in the message to her..

 

 

your thoughts girls?

 

Great idea!

 

Regarding Jasmins EX... bleck! I swear my EX was/is the same way!! He is a jackass who only wants to be "Dad" when he can work it in... and saves up "Mama drama" regarding my bf because my little people love him.

 

:eek: mg! LOL I thought only girls did that kinda crap.. but nope!

 

I hope you and Jasmin can work it out.

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waterboy Member

waterboy

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i wish she had email so i could just send that thought to her so i didn't have to talk to her.. i imagine she won't answer and i can just leave it on her voicemail but jasmin might think somethings up since i didn't tell her on the phone about hookin her up with my buddy..i guess i'll just say i was so shocked that she said i asked her out that i wasn't even thinking about it.. i invited her and her mom out to dinner tonight since her mom is in town for a few days. they've been trying to finish up all this junk with the lawyers and the custody battle.. i'm not even really sure if she thinks this is a big deal, but she felt the need to let me know that she knew i had asked her out...

 

cale

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