Jenny1234 Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 I really wish there was a way to make the dumper miss me (the dumpee). I went no contact for 3 weeks after he walked out of my life because "he wasn't happy and things weren't working anymore" It's been almost 3 months now and I created a texting breadcrumb cycle. Usually late at night...at first it was once a week then it build up to every couple of days... Most of the time I was the one to iniate the text convo but he writes right back and continues on breadcrumb chatting until I go to bed. I got annoyed the other day so decided to ask him "can we get together like civilized adults". His response "I guess.. I don't see what would be uncivilized" "this week is tough maybe Sunday" That was Monday ... I am pretty sure I won't hear from him again to try to meet up. I am not contacting him again on this matter. I'm back to no contact. Since I didn't get a "good" feeling from him about meeting up with me I really don't think I want to anyways. I thought I was making some small progress with all the texting ... But maybe his life is just better without me after all and he didn't make a mistake in his eyes. But the fact that he still responds and chats with me I guess confuses me. Like WHY are you even writing back anymore buddy ! We were together for 2.5 years and you just stroll away and have no remorse. I'm still hurt every day
headsashed Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 As hard as it is, the best thing to do is to move on, usually an ex will start to miss you once you have moved on, but please don't take that as a sign that they will, because it might not happen, I don't want you to get your hopes up.
Author Jenny1234 Posted July 18, 2013 Author Posted July 18, 2013 As hard as it is, the best thing to do is to move on, usually an ex will start to miss you once you have moved on, but please don't take that as a sign that they will, because it might not happen, I don't want you to get your hopes up. Thanks. I keep telling myself that too. And it has happened in my past. But I feel like I'm just stuck in the mudd. I feel like I was leading on a nice independent fun life to him but its so not true. I just need to back off and let nature run its course. I've been dating but no one is catching my interest. Blah I was secretly hoping that giving him space would lead him back to me...maybe there hasn't been enough time or maybe it will never happen or he is too big of a wimp to admit it. It's hard to face it. But I have no choice
Author Jenny1234 Posted July 18, 2013 Author Posted July 18, 2013 I keep trying to tell myself to release. And have the visual of releasing a dove in my head! Haha sounds crazy
Legatus Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 It seems like at some point the main goal is to make them miss us, the dumpees. But as silly as it sounds, it does help. Unfortunately there is no way to force it upon them. Don't carr about him anymore, if he comes around then make the most of it , in order to speef your healing up. If not his loss! 1
daftpunk Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 While it's by no means a guarantee, the best way to get them back is to let go and give up hope.
headsashed Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Don't worry about the dating side of things, that will come naturally, plus its not fair when you still have feelings for your ex. It took me about 14 month to finally get a gf and well, that didn't last very long haha, and for the 1st time in my life I was the dumper lol. Joking aside, Just go full NC, block the ex on everything you can and just move on, chances are, are that he will miss u eventually but no doubt by then you will have moved on and met someone who has swept you off your feet, im still waiting for that person btw lol. Chin up jenny, things can and only will get better
Author Jenny1234 Posted July 18, 2013 Author Posted July 18, 2013 While it's by no means a guarantee, the best way to get them back is to let go and give up hope. Thank you. I'm trying to focus on letting him go. Let him go and live his life and try to find someone as good as me out there. It's not easy buddy! It took him months to finally tell me he wasn't happy so I can only imagine it taking many more months to miss me. And I'm not waiting around for that to happen since it certainly might not!
Author Jenny1234 Posted July 18, 2013 Author Posted July 18, 2013 Don't worry about the dating side of things, that will come naturally, plus its not fair when you still have feelings for your ex. It took me about 14 month to finally get a gf and well, that didn't last very long haha, and for the 1st time in my life I was the dumper lol. Joking aside, Just go full NC, block the ex on everything you can and just move on, chances are, are that he will miss u eventually but no doubt by then you will have moved on and met someone who has swept you off your feet, im still waiting for that person btw lol. Chin up jenny, things can and only will get better I keep reading my horoscope and telling myself this is my lucky year! I just had a birthday last week so I feel like this is a good conscious point to try to move forward with my life again.
Author Jenny1234 Posted July 18, 2013 Author Posted July 18, 2013 The summer seems so much harder. Like he is out having a great time. The says are so much longer. He even posted a sunset on Facebook the other day that annoyed me... Like you hate the beach buddy...my head starting running crazy like he was on a date or with a girl. Give me back the days of snow storms and getting dark at 5p! Lol All his friends are married...how much fun could you really be having with these people as a single person?!
headsashed Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 I keep reading my horoscope and telling myself this is my lucky year! I just had a birthday last week so I feel like this is a good conscious point to try to move forward with my life again. Happy birthday for last week lol, im not 1 for believing in horoscopes even though I was guilty at some point for reading them, just don't put all your hopes and dreams on them, only you can make your life better,and by the sounds of it you have already started
theonlyjuan Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Move on, or at least make it seem like you are. Improve yourself. Hit the gym, transform your look.
Own Worst Enemy Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 you can't live your life like that, peering over every single photograph, wondering who took it and who else was there, it'll drive you crazy... when i was in the 18 months of pure torture of being "best friends" with my ex, it got to the stage where the numbers of his photographs (his phone did it automatically) drove me crackers. if a photo had a higher number than when he texted me previously, i'd be thinking, "has he met someone else? what has he been photographing? is he sending her filthy pics? or signing up for a dating website? but would he do that with his work phone?" my poor brain was like a squirrel in a trap, and i hated it, but i couldn't help it. SO NOT WORTH IT! life's too short. get rid of him on fb. look at it this way: if it's meant to be, then fb means nothing. and if it's not meant to be, then you don't want him on your fb list anyway!
Author Jenny1234 Posted July 18, 2013 Author Posted July 18, 2013 you can't live your life like that, peering over every single photograph, wondering who took it and who else was there, it'll drive you crazy... when i was in the 18 months of pure torture of being "best friends" with my ex, it got to the stage where the numbers of his photographs (his phone did it automatically) drove me crackers. if a photo had a higher number than when he texted me previously, i'd be thinking, "has he met someone else? what has he been photographing? is he sending her filthy pics? or signing up for a dating website? but would he do that with his work phone?" my poor brain was like a squirrel in a trap, and i hated it, but i couldn't help it. SO NOT WORTH IT! life's too short. get rid of him on fb. look at it this way: if it's meant to be, then fb means nothing. and if it's not meant to be, then you don't want him on your fb list anyway! I've been self torturing myself for 3 months... By 18 months I'd be off the deep end. Trying to pick up my boot straps and focus elsewhere! If I let him completely go and if it was meant to be he will come back..if not see ya never!
Dread Pirate Roberts Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 I really wish there was a way to make the dumper miss me (the dumpee). I went no contact for 3 weeks after he walked out of my life because "he wasn't happy and things weren't working anymore" It's been almost 3 months now and I created a texting breadcrumb cycle. Usually late at night...at first it was once a week then it build up to every couple of days... Most of the time I was the one to iniate the text convo but he writes right back and continues on breadcrumb chatting until I go to bed. I got annoyed the other day so decided to ask him "can we get together like civilized adults". His response "I guess.. I don't see what would be uncivilized" "this week is tough maybe Sunday" That was Monday ... I am pretty sure I won't hear from him again to try to meet up. I am not contacting him again on this matter. I'm back to no contact. Since I didn't get a "good" feeling from him about meeting up with me I really don't think I want to anyways. I thought I was making some small progress with all the texting ... But maybe his life is just better without me after all and he didn't make a mistake in his eyes. But the fact that he still responds and chats with me I guess confuses me. Like WHY are you even writing back anymore buddy ! We were together for 2.5 years and you just stroll away and have no remorse. I'm still hurt every day Eh, find a better guy. I know a few of them.
aloneinaz Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Jenny, You keep posting here and getting the same advice. You need to cut all ties with him and move on. This is why you're not over it and are still struggling at 3 months post break up. Stop texting him or replying. Block him on Facebook and un-friend him. You're constantly tearing your stitches open of the wound by stalking him on Facebook or texting him. Move on and worry about you and your happiness. Clearly, like I told you on the other thread, he's not interested or he'd be telling you this. If I had changed my mind on someone I let go, they'd know it! No doubt about it. You're not going to get over him and move on to your next great relationship until you bury this dead one. Start today w/NC. It does work. 1
Author Jenny1234 Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 Jenny, You keep posting here and getting the same advice. You need to cut all ties with him and move on. This is why you're not over it and are still struggling at 3 months post break up. Stop texting him or replying. Block him on Facebook and un-friend him. You're constantly tearing your stitches open of the wound by stalking him on Facebook or texting him. Move on and worry about you and your happiness. Clearly, like I told you on the other thread, he's not interested or he'd be telling you this. If I had changed my mind on someone I let go, they'd know it! No doubt about it. You're not going to get over him and move on to your next great relationship until you bury this dead one. Start today w/NC. It does work. Day 3 of no contact. Thank you for your help! Tombstone being engraved
It-is-what-it-is. Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Jen Breadcrumbs are stupid. He knows you are still interested. He knows...he knows...He knows where you live if he was interested he'd be reaching out. Start a new life, figure out who you want to be and use your free time to make it happen. Ideally Block him, or at least Change his Contact name to something to help you like DO NOT call text answer. Be busy, do stuff meet people, go to the gym Get a haircut, work on you. Don't stop your life waiting for him to come around.
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