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Texting/Contact Before First Date?


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Posted

Hello there! I have been chatting online with this girl whom I met for a brief 5 minutes in person one day. After a couple days of online chat, I got her number and finally made the push to ask her to hang out.

 

She happily agreed and we're now going to meet Sunday. We still haven't agreed on a time yet and she wasn't really to specific when I asked her what she wanted to do.

 

My only concern now is what do I do during these couple of days before our date? Do I send her a few texts and keep things very light? Do I not contact her at all, and wait for her to confirm a time?

 

I was thinking of texting her today when I'm out of work with something like "Hey I forgot to mention yesterday, that whatever we do this weekend is my treat!" Or something along those lines. We spoke very short this morning before we went on our way to work, but it was only a matter of "Hope you have a good day" sort of thing.

 

Basically do I keep communicating with her briefly everyday before our hang out or do I wait? She seems like she's into me, so I don't know what way to go. I wouldn't go to in depth with her so we have things to talk about on Sunday.

Posted

Yeah, send light texts leading up to the date. Why not? People do this all the time. Don't over do it, rather, after initiating see how far she wants to take the texts. But, make them light, humorous, and indicate that you are looking forward to the date.

 

When the date gets close, the day before, text for confirmation. Be pro-active. No need to play "you should or I should" make first contact games.

 

Good luck. :)

Posted

Sure you should keep in contact. But I wouldn't just say it's your treat. What you might want to do is come up with a good date idea based off of what you know about her, and ask her if it would interest her.

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Posted
Sure you should keep in contact. But I wouldn't just say it's your treat. What you might want to do is come up with a good date idea based off of what you know about her, and ask her if it would interest her.

 

I tried being polite with her and asked her what she wanted to do when asking her out, and she said that "we would figure it out".

 

So I don't know if that means we're going to wing it, if we should still plan it advance, or if

I should offer my opinion now that she didnt come up with anything.

Posted

Figure it out by offering some suggestions. Having a plan in advance will allow you more time to get to know one another versus trying to meet and come up with something on the spot.

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Posted
Figure it out by offering some suggestions. Having a plan in advance will allow you more time to get to know one another versus trying to meet and come up with something on the spot.

 

So you think it would be a bad idea mentioning "treating" her out and then I could go into some possible suggestions on what we do?

 

I appreciate all the input so far and would love to hear more thoughts on this!

Posted

I think it's fine to take the check when it comes, but not to mention anything about it beforehand. I'd just say that you were thinking about ideas for your upcoming date and thought XXXXXX was a good idea.

  • Like 1
Posted

Normally I text a day or two here & there then ask if she wants to talk & then ask her out on a date if the talk goes well.

Then keep in contact until the date.

But not as much.

Posted (edited)
Hello there! I have been chatting online with this girl whom I met for a brief 5 minutes in person one day. After a couple days of online chat, I got her number and finally made the push to ask her to hang out.

 

She happily agreed and we're now going to meet Sunday. We still haven't agreed on a time yet and she wasn't really to specific when I asked her what she wanted to do.

 

My only concern now is what do I do during these couple of days before our date? Do I send her a few texts and keep things very light? Do I not contact her at all, and wait for her to confirm a time?

 

I was thinking of texting her today when I'm out of work with something like "Hey I forgot to mention yesterday, that whatever we do this weekend is my treat!" Or something along those lines. We spoke very short this morning before we went on our way to work, but it was only a matter of "Hope you have a good day" sort of thing.

 

Basically do I keep communicating with her briefly everyday before our hang out or do I wait? She seems like she's into me, so I don't know what way to go. I wouldn't go to in depth with her so we have things to talk about on Sunday.

 

If the date is in two days, I wouldn't bother texting her anything other than to setup a specified time of when to meet her that day. Women love men who take charge of things instead of leaving it up to them. When she said "we'll think of some thing", she really meant "YOU better come up with a plan".

 

Typically, what I would do is text something like, "Okay, young lady, enough small talk. 10pm Sunday night. The 7th Ave Bar @ Broadway. Casual drinks. Wear your fun hat."

 

It's fun. It's flirty. It gives off an adventurous vibe that people want to follow. Now, if she can't make it for whatever reason and she's interested in you, she might say, "Oh, I can't make at that time, but how about 11pm instead or blah blah...". In other words, she would offer an alternative time/date. If she wasn't interested at all, she would either not reply back or reply back with no alternatives.

 

Texting is a good way, IMO, to gauge someone's interest level, but just don't go overboard so that you become her texting pen pal instead of her exciting lover.

Edited by Aero-el
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Posted

Thanks for the responses!!! I didn't text her at all today after work. I felt like I was coming across as a little to clingy.

 

I'm a little worried that she isn't interested because I never hear from her unless I start the conversation. I've done all the initiating thus far, and am always the one starting the conversations. Whenever we talk though, she always seems into me and excited however, I don't understand why she doesn't attempt texting or calling me for once.

Posted

Whenever we talk though, she always seems into me and excited however, I don't understand why she doesn't attempt texting or calling me for once.

 

That's no reason to be concerned. In the beginning most women don't want to initiate contact in order to gauge a man's interest. As long as she replies in an excited way when you text, it is all good. No need to worry.

 

If everything works out and you two begin dating for real, I am sure she will start initiating contact herself. And if she doesn't feel free to invite her to do it. Many women try to not contact a guy too much out of fear of coming across as clingy.

 

Good luck!

  • Like 1
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Posted
That's no reason to be concerned. In the beginning most women don't want to initiate contact in order to gauge a man's interest. As long as she replies in an excited way when you text, it is all good. No need to worry.

 

If everything works out and you two begin dating for real, I am sure she will start initiating contact herself. And if she doesn't feel free to invite her to do it. Many women try to not contact a guy too much out of fear of coming across as clingy.

 

Good luck!

 

Thanks! I didn't contact her at all last night and never heard from her. I hate playing this "game" of contact. :/

  • Author
Posted (edited)

We were supposed to hang today and she texted me asking if we can hang tomorrow instead. Is this something I should be worried about? She didn't give me the reason for rescheduling.

 

Edit: Sorry my first post was a little unclear, I meant to say Saturday and not Sunday in my first post.

Edited by KlerkT
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