feelinghopeless89 Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 This year has been the most difficult year of my life. I got out of a relationship with a guy I truly believed was the love of my life. We had the best time together, amazing chemistry, the best of friends, and cared for each other so much. This was all until his ex came back (who is also the mother to his 8 year old child). For years she pushed him away because he broke up with her a little after their baby was born because he didn't feel like he was ready to settle down. 8 years later when she needed help with money, she said her feelings came back and she was just scared to get close to him because she didn't want to get hurt again. When she opened up to him, he said he got mixed emotions and was torn between both of us. Long story short, he ended up trying things out with his ex and she ended up getting pregnant REALLY SOON after.. ugh :'( I was devastated. But I work with him, and so I have to see him often. I told him there was NO WAY I could be friends with him after all of this, and he got mad at me for that. He doesn't understand why I can't be friends with him, which I think is absolutely crazy with how serious our relationship was and how quickly things happened. It's been about 5 months since he told me his ex was pregnant, and we still have to see each other at work every so often (he's my manager), but when I do see him I am professional, cordial, and all business. We have a lot of mutual friends so when he tells stuff to them about me, it usually always gets back to me. He has been saying things like, he can't stand me with a passion. We were so close, and I truly feel like I did nothing wrong, so hearing him say that about me is like a knife going into my heart. I am still grieving and trying so hard to get over the breakup, so comments like this just kill me. People that I confide in all have told me the same thing.. The only reason he would be angry or have any reason to be mad at you shows he still cares. I know I shouldn't care about that... but honestly, how could I not right now? It breaks my heart that someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with can't stand me with a passion, so any hope of maybe that means deep down he cares a lot about me will give me a little peace. Sorry for the long rant ... but desperately wanting opinions from the outside.
Philosoraptor Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Times are tough right now, but I'd really advise looking for other employment. You're in a very toxic situation right now that no matter how hard you work to be professional, you're going to be hit with unprofessional things there. It's hard enough to heal with NC, even harder when you have to see and communicate with the person. Very very sorry for the situation you have to be in right now.
Author feelinghopeless89 Posted July 18, 2013 Author Posted July 18, 2013 Times are tough right now, but I'd really advise looking for other employment. You're in a very toxic situation right now that no matter how hard you work to be professional, you're going to be hit with unprofessional things there. It's hard enough to heal with NC, even harder when you have to see and communicate with the person. Very very sorry for the situation you have to be in right now. You are definitely right, and everyone tells me the same thing... that I need to leave. I have been there for 4 years, and have really established myself at the company so that, plus TERRIFIED of never seeing him again has been making it so hard for me to leave. I have recently been applying for new jobs which was a huge step for me, but I am just so scared and conflicted. Thank you for taking the time to read about my situation and give me feedback .
mano Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Yes dear u should definitely find employment elsewhere. Every now n then u r going to hear things from him that will definitely affect u n keep u devastated n harder to move on. Really sorry about ur situation. U need to stay away from this man. No matter how professional u will try to be. The feelings r there n therefore u will keep gettin affected by this non professional stuff there
Author feelinghopeless89 Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 Yes dear u should definitely find employment elsewhere. Every now n then u r going to hear things from him that will definitely affect u n keep u devastated n harder to move on. Really sorry about ur situation. U need to stay away from this man. No matter how professional u will try to be. The feelings r there n therefore u will keep gettin affected by this non professional stuff there I know I feel so stupid, and crazy, for still being there. It's like I am in hell! But for some reason it is such a battle for me everyday to get myself to try and leave. Ugh! Thank you for the advice - This forum in the last 24 hours has helped me a lot!
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