onbrokenwings Posted October 25, 2004 Posted October 25, 2004 hey all- Its been about 10 months now since me and my ex (vinny) broke up. We had been together and completely in love for 2 years. and i mean in love to the greatest extent possible. it was mostly because i decided to go to school on long island (3 hour drive from home) and we saw eachother less and less and we started to miss eacho other so much and it started to make us irritable. I also started drinking and partying at school which i never really did in high shool...i have to admit i kind of morphed into this crazy party girl. which isnt ME at all. anyway...we broke up in january (because of distance, and because of my busy schedule i wasnt able to see him that much at all) and we both started seeing other people kind of quickly. I recently broke up with my rebound bf back in june because i realized that i didnt want to devote my time and energy to him because deep down inside i was missing vinny SO MUCH. I realized that vinny was the love of my life and started to regret who i became at school. over the summer i spent time just working, painting (im an art major), wirting and keeping to myself because i needed to sort of re-find my old self. and now im finally my old self again. but the problem is...vinny is still with his rebound gf. He seems kind of happy but i can tell when i talk to him every so often that he isnt THAT enthralled by the relationship but i know hes probably happier with her then he was with me at the end of our relationship. but...he still tells me he loves me and misses me. heres the question i have... I am thinking about doing some BIGTIME life changes to be back with him. I am still so deeply in love with him and im thinking..its been 10 months and no one else really interests me. Im thinking about tranferring schools to only be about 45 mins from him. I already gave up alcohol and smoking altogether for him kind of on my own. I'm willing to be the girl he loved back before i came down here. I love him so much im willing to do anything to make everything up to him. Do you think its worth it? and should i tell him how i feel and that i want to do this for him? or should i do it on my own? do you think he would leave his current relationship if i committed myself to making these changes? help
Moose Posted October 25, 2004 Posted October 25, 2004 Personnally, I think you have the wrong motivation for these changes. If you want Vinny to love you for who you are that is. You shouldn't have to make these changes for that. If you two were together and it was communicated between you both that some changes had to be made, then that would be a different story. You wanting to make these changes should be of your own choice to better yourself............. for yourself.
Author onbrokenwings Posted October 25, 2004 Author Posted October 25, 2004 moose- it was most definitely communicated that changes needed to be made because i really wasnt ito drinking or partying before i came here. the changes he wanted were just becaus he knew that what i was doing wasnt ME at all. and these changes were brought up on myself too, i want to make them because they are healthy decisions. Moving back upstate to be closer to him, choosing to drink infrequently and quitting smoking are changes i would make for myself anyway
Moose Posted October 25, 2004 Posted October 25, 2004 In that case....great! I think that if he likes the changes you made, and he's not too attached to his girlfriend that the possibility exsists that he'd get back with you. Only he knows for certain. To tell him that you did this for him may not be a good idea though. The reason I say that is it may make him feel guilty that you made these lifestyle changes just for him. You don't want to get him back by making him feel guilty. Let him see the changes you made in your actions for himself. And if you two were meant to be, then it'll happen.
Lonestar Posted October 25, 2004 Posted October 25, 2004 Well the only way he'll be able to notice the changes you've already made is to move back closer to him, BUT make sure you're not giving up something important in your life to take a chance on getting him back. He may not want that chance and for all you know, he may really love his gf. Maybe he's not showing you how much he loves her, because he doesn't want to hurt you, so he acts as though he's not "enthralled." If you're going to uproot your world, don't do it for a chance. Do it because it's the right thing for you.
Author onbrokenwings Posted October 25, 2004 Author Posted October 25, 2004 my idea to move upstate was mostly because i dont like it down here anymore so it will be for myself. but im hoping it helps out with my situation with vinny as well. thank you guys for your input by the way
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