creighton0123 Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Ex called me. After almost six months. Almost didn't answer since I never knew his number by heart. "I've been miserable since we broke up." "I'm so unhappy without you" "Can we meet? Could you ever forgive me and try again?" So... I did some digging. This is so unlike him to express such emotion. Called a mutual friend. Since we broke up, he's been getting drunk three to four times a week. He's 24 and attending undergrad college parties at his alma mater. He got fired from his low-paying job for poor performance, kicked out of his apartment, living with his parents and, last I saw him, gained about twenty to thirty pounds and looks like a fresh drug addict. Here's what my life has looked like since our breakup: Moved to an apartment that I can afford. A much nicer place than the apartment him and I had. Have an eight minute walk to work. Lost 15 pounds and gained some solid muscle. Found a new boyfriend who, while still somewhat new, is much better in every way - looks, personality, friends, job, money. Am doing great at work and am up for a promotion. My ex left because of GIGS. I moved on pretty quickly. He quickly found out that I'm a catch and that the grass is most definitely not greener. And, without hesitation, I told him "No. I've moved on and am not interested. Goodbye." Thanks for all your help, love shackers. 9
aloneinaz Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Ex called me. After almost six months. Almost didn't answer since I never knew his number by heart. "I've been miserable since we broke up." "I'm so unhappy without you" "Can we meet? Could you ever forgive me and try again?" So... I did some digging. This is so unlike him to express such emotion. Called a mutual friend. Since we broke up, he's been getting drunk three to four times a week. He's 24 and attending undergrad college parties at his alma mater. He got fired from his low-paying job for poor performance, kicked out of his apartment, living with his parents and, last I saw him, gained about twenty to thirty pounds and looks like a fresh drug addict. Here's what my life has looked like since our breakup: Moved to an apartment that I can afford. A much nicer place than the apartment him and I had. Have an eight minute walk to work. Lost 15 pounds and gained some solid muscle. Found a new boyfriend who, while still somewhat new, is much better in every way - looks, personality, friends, job, money. Am doing great at work and am up for a promotion. My ex left because of GIGS. I moved on pretty quickly. He quickly found out that I'm a catch and that the grass is most definitely not greener. And, without hesitation, I told him "No. I've moved on and am not interested. Goodbye." Thanks for all your help, love shackers. Awesome story! I love it!! How sweet that call must have been.
daftpunk Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Well done! You should be proud. You needn't ever talk to him again, but I'd caution you to not hate him for his mistake. I can assure you that you are every bit as flawed as he is. We all are. Forgive, forget, and live as happily as you can before this miserable orb of mud inevitably brings you back into the fold.
Author creighton0123 Posted July 18, 2013 Author Posted July 18, 2013 Daft, I don't hate him for the mistake. I was angry and sad at first, but I know that when I was younger, I did the exact same thing to the guys I was dating at the time. I've been there. I've victimized someone with GIGS. I just... never called them back six months later :-P I'm just not going to be his crutch when he gets down in life only to use me, my money, my love, and my home until he's solid enough to leave. He lost that privilege when he broke up with me. Despite your statement on flaws, I would disagree. I was most definitely the better person in the relationship on any number of points: better job, better education, closer friends, better in bed, nicer to people. I have my flaws. But... they weren't as numerous as his :-P I was, however, perfectly willing and able to overlook that when we were dating.
Author creighton0123 Posted July 18, 2013 Author Posted July 18, 2013 Awesome story! I love it!! How sweet that call must have been. It did feel good and bad. I felt sad that he was doing so horribly, but recognized that he did it to himself. He abandoned a working and loving relationship because he thought there might be someone better. I didn't blame him for that. I was 28. He was 23. It happens. I'm not going to be there to pick up the pieces for him, even as a "friend".
aloneinaz Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 It did feel good and bad. I felt sad that he was doing so horribly, but recognized that he did it to himself. He abandoned a working and loving relationship because he thought there might be someone better. I didn't blame him for that. I was 28. He was 23. It happens. I'm not going to be there to pick up the pieces for him, even as a "friend". My LTR ended 6 weeks ago and NC since. She seems like a stranger to me now. I've dated a lot since then so that probably helps. I can't imagine contacting someone after 6 months of being broken up? WTH? I feel the same as you do about your relationship. 85% of our issues were due to her emotional instability and other "issues".. I worked my butt off to try to help her so we could make it. I was great to her and her kids. I let her break up with me three different times. My reward for this was her showing me what a nasty, angry, grudge holding, snappy, bitchy, unappreciated nightmare.. She'll never hear from me again and I have no doubt that one day she'll realize what a great guy she had and lost..
daftpunk Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Despite your statement on flaws, I would disagree. I was most definitely the better person in the relationship on any number of points: better job, better education, closer friends, better in bed, nicer to people. Which is closer to infinity-- 1 or 1,000,000? The answer is... Neither. They are equally far from infinity. It doesn't matter how high you count; you'll never be any closer. In much the same light, we are all equally distant from perfection. Counting scruples is a meaningless exercise. Just some food for thought. Congratulations on your victory all the same.
Emilia Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 And, without hesitation, I told him "No. I've moved on and am not interested. Goodbye." Thanks for all your help, love shackers. One of the few stories that genuinely made me laugh
Emilia Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Which is closer to infinity-- 1 or 1,000,000? The answer is... Neither. They are equally far from infinity. It doesn't matter how high you count; you'll never be any closer. In much the same light, we are all equally distant from perfection. Counting scruples is a meaningless exercise. Just some food for thought. Congratulations on your victory all the same. Life is not Mathematics, it's impossible to take your posts seriously and you just want to bring the OP down. OP, congrats again!
daftpunk Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Life is not Mathematics, it's impossible to take your posts seriously and you just want to bring the OP down. OP, congrats again! I'll be sure to take your thoughts into consideration next time.
Inviv_girl Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Good for you and keep up the good work. Although I feel sorry for your ex- but well.. he left you and that's what he got for GIGS! now he realized his mistakes but it is too late.
maturityassets Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 I just saw this and as soon as I was done, I clapped out loud for you! This is awesome. You don't deserve that nonsense of the "GIGS" and them returning when they are at their lowest. Congratulations!
Author creighton0123 Posted July 18, 2013 Author Posted July 18, 2013 Which is closer to infinity-- 1 or 1,000,000? The answer is... Neither. They are equally far from infinity. It doesn't matter how high you count; you'll never be any closer. In much the same light, we are all equally distant from perfection. Counting scruples is a meaningless exercise. Just some food for thought. Congratulations on your victory all the same. Good food for thought, but barring the existentialism and philosophical fodder, people are generally measured in romantic relationships in a few simple terms: looks, sex, money, personality, chemistry, and lifestyle. Measuring on those factors alone, him and I were on entirely different levels and wavelengths. Since our breakup, I have moved forward. He, however, has moved backward. 1
TaraMaiden Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 I'll be sure to take your thoughts into consideration next time. To which decimal point, would that be....?
daftpunk Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Measuring on those factors alone, him and I were on entirely different levels and wavelengths. And I wasn't doubting you or trying to "bring you down". My point was merely that you shouldn't think too poorly of him for his faults, or think too much of yourself for the contrary. You never know if or when you yourself will crumble under the weight of your own imperfect design. Be proud, but stay humble. This is a site for advice, and that is mine. All the best to you! 1
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