Gf lied about being a virgin and I'm considering dumping (I'm a virgin)

[AJL]

Ok guys I have made up my mind. I will break up with her this week and explain the reasons why. I just realized that I can't handle her past while I'm a virgin.

 

Another thing I have decided is to find myself a Christian virgin woman. I have no problems with either waiting till marriage or a couple weeks/days close to the wedding day.

[RandomName12]

Can I ask why it's so important your first partner is a virgin?

 

If it's insecurity about the difference in experience let me just say as someone who has never had sex with a virgin that it is nothing to worry about...unless you let yourself worry about it.

 

Just jump in with 2 feet (Metaphorically speaking, I cannot make this clearer ) and you should be fine, I think the worst thing someone can do is act like a lost child when having sex, it's all about experimenting and having fun!

 

That being said if it's for religious reasons then fair do's.

[hppr]

People will hate me for this but 4 sexual relationships by age 20 is a lot, and if she started when she was in her early teens then she is on a whole other planet from the OP. I knew girls like that growing up and they are still single, having the same sorts of drama they did when they were young while the ones who waited at least until their late teens/early 20s are all happily married.

 

My advice? Go for it with this broad just know that you and her are (deep down) extremely different and it's not going to last.

 

As far as your v card goes know that it's nothing special and most women won't care and will probably think it is weird. Even women who are still virgins themselves.

[Salvatore85]

Ok guys I have made up my mind. I will break up with her this week and explain the reasons why. I just realized that I can't handle her past while I'm a virgin.

 

Another thing I have decided is to find myself a Christian virgin woman. I have no problems with either waiting till marriage or a couple weeks/days close to the wedding day.

 

I understand she lied and that's wrong but do you ever stop and think that she might have done it because she has strong feelings for you and didn't want to lose you? This isn't a red flag like some say because the reality is we all have a past and the truth is if you're starting a new relationship with someone than there past sexual experiences shouldn't be any of your business unless they volunteer the information. I've never understood why people care so much about ones past when the moment they're currently in with said person is the only one that should matter? If I were you I would give her a chance to redeem herself because outside of this very minuscule virgin-deal you really seem to like her.

[Zeitsev]

I understand she lied and that's wrong but do you ever stop and think that she might have done it because she has strong feelings for you and didn't want to lose you? This isn't a red flag like some say because the reality is we all have a past and the truth is if you're starting a new relationship with someone than there past sexual experiences shouldn't be any of your business unless they volunteer the information. I've never understood why people care so much about ones past when the moment they're currently in with said person is the only one that should matter? If I were you I would give her a chance to redeem herself because outside of this very minuscule virgin-deal you really seem to like her.

 

People care because every relationship will have problems. And some people, I'm guessing the OP is one of them, don't want those problems to potentially stem from the sexual past of the other partner. Complex chemicals are released during intercourse that work to "bond" the couple or bring them closer together. Even the nonreligious have described sex as being something spiritual. So basically, it can be troublesome on the mind when someone has had more than one partner. Women seem to be more affected by this than men. Also there's the whole issue with comparing lovers that unnerves a lot of people. I know everyone is different and I'm not saying that a sexual relationship between a virgin and non virgin is doomed to fail (they work out fine in many cases), but some people just don't want to deal with the possible implications of marrying a nonvirgin.

 

Now concerning the lying, this is an issue that will always be morally debated in terms of the intent, i.e., lying for the greater good. I don't know if the OP shares these sentiments, but traditionally in Judeo-Christian religions lying is seen as lying no matter the intent. Personally, it would have been a red flag for me. If she can't be faithful with minuscule details can she be faithful with much bigger issues?

[T3h L337 d00d]

Are you religious? You should date through your church than. Did she tell you she was a virgin or say something to lead you to believe she is?