Jump to content

Gf lied about being a virgin and I'm considering dumping (I'm a virgin)

AJL

By AJL
in General Relationship Discussion

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

AJL New Member

AJL

Posted
Posted

I'm mad at this moment and feeling like a loser. I've been waiting for 21 years for that special girl, the one I would consider getting married in the near future but with that new revelation it's like I wasted some time (2 months exactly).

 

I've just learned (I'm not that naïve and do have a way of finding out things) that she had a relationship starting way back in her sophomore year of HS and then 3 others later on. The fact that she knows I'm a virgin makes me mad, as if she led me on purpose so I can lose it.

 

Or should I just give up on finding a 18-22 year-old virgin girl? Why is it so hard to find her?

Eggplant Established Member

Eggplant

Posted
Posted

It's a red flag that she lied.

coffeebean201 Established Member

coffeebean201

Posted
Posted

What is bothering you more:

1. that you were misled

2. that she may not be a virgin

 

How much does she love you? Does she really really like you or is she so so about you?

  • Author
AJL New Member

AJL

Posted
  • Author
Posted
What is bothering you more:

1. that you were misled

2. that she may not be a virgin

Both of them at the same time. Maybe if she were honest for the start, I will upset it would still be difficult for me to handle that but I would at least try. But now that lied about it too, it makes the whole moment feel worthless. I'm the only one that's going to give in while she already her v-card to someone else.

How much does she love you? Does she really really like you or is she so so about you?
She does but I can't help it. I'm still mad.
coffeebean201 Established Member

coffeebean201

Posted
Posted

I can see why you are mad.

 

Part of your anger may be that she isn't understanding what a big deal this is to you.

 

If she is the right girl you will get through this.

If she isn't the right girl, then you won't.

Eggplant Established Member

Eggplant

Posted
Posted

It was a big deal to the OP that he lose his virginity with another virgin. She deceived him. That's not what noble people do. Honesty is fundamental in a relationship.

  • Like 8
  • Author
AJL New Member

AJL

Posted
  • Author
Posted
It was a big deal to the OP that he lose his virginity with another virgin. She deceived him. That's not what noble people do. Honesty is fundamental in a relationship.
You're one of the few that understands me. I always dreamt about my first time being special, that moment where both the girl and I trade our v-cards; a one time event that'll never repeat itself.
  • Like 1
Archanaart Established Member

Archanaart

Posted
Posted

"V-card" is a social construction.

 

Sucks she lied though but do you have actual proof like did she tell you she's not a virgin anymore? Just because she's had previous relationships doesn't necessarily mean she slept with them.

 

Talk to her about it.

  • Like 2
Els Established Member

Els

Posted
Posted

You have every right to be mad about her lying to you.

 

As for the virgin thing, I see absolutely nothing wrong with a virgin holding out for another virgin. All the best, OP. :)

  • Like 2
  • Author
AJL New Member

AJL

Posted
  • Author
Posted
"V-card" is a social construction.

 

Sucks she lied though but do you have actual proof like did she tell you she's not a virgin anymore? Just because she's had previous relationships doesn't necessarily mean she slept with them.

 

Talk to her about it.

She admitted it when I asked her again about it. I had a feeling she wasn't really a virgin.
Archanaart Established Member

Archanaart

Posted
Posted

I'm sorry to hear she lied. She shouldn't have. She doesn't seem really trustworthy at this point.

 

If she cared a great deal then she would have gone into this relationship with honesty as a foundation.

therhythm Established Member

therhythm

Posted
Posted

Honestly this is just a 2 months relationship so if this is so important for you just move on and look for someone who fits with your values or needs.

I wouldn't mind that she is not a virgin but I would mind that she lied to me to force me into a relationship with her with a lie... that is a huge red flag! (very (VERY) selfish).

 

Good luck whatever you decide to do ;)

Maleficent Established Member

Maleficent

Posted
Posted
I'm mad at this moment and feeling like a loser. I've been waiting for 21 years for that special girl, the one I would consider getting married in the near future but with that new revelation it's like I wasted some time (2 months exactly).

 

I've just learned (I'm not that naïve and do have a way of finding out things) that she had a relationship starting way back in her sophomore year of HS and then 3 others later on. The fact that she knows I'm a virgin makes me mad, as if she led me on purpose so I can lose it.

 

Or should I just give up on finding a 18-22 year-old virgin girl? Why is it so hard to find her?

 

You just learned…?

Did she flat out tell you she was a virgin or did you assume she was because she never said she wasn't?

therhythm Established Member

therhythm

Posted
Posted
If you want a remotely attractive female virgin from anywhere near the western hemisphere you're going to have to find yourself a girl very much underage.

 

Like maybe 12-13, which would be illegal so I wouldn't recommend it.

 

And even then plenty of those aren't virgins, so.

 

What im saying is find yourself an absolute beast of a girl if you want to have a chance of her both being legal and a virgin.

 

Man... you are so wrong. There are many virgin women in their 20's.

Not all women are the same as you seem to believe. There are women more sexual and women more emotional and women who are both. ;)

  • Like 4
Els Established Member

Els

Posted
Posted
Man... you are so wrong. There are many virgin women in their 20's.

Not all women are the same as you seem to believe. There are women more sexual and women more emotional and women who are both. ;)

 

There are quite a number of LS posters who seem to believe that they know everything about every single woman who lives in the "Western hemisphere" (whatever they might mean by that).

 

It boggles the mind as to how they can possibly know so much about such a large portion of the world from their mom's basement, but I've simply put it down to one of the amusing eccentricities of LS. :o

  • Like 7
therhythm Established Member

therhythm

Posted
Posted
There are many hugely unattractive women, I agree. Emphasis on huge.

 

I am beginning to feel sorry for you... you seem very bitter and I bet some women have hurt you in a very badly way.

Hating and having such a bad concept of women in general is totally wrong and will bring you no closer to ever get a woman who really loves you for who you are.

Did you now that people like Selena Gomez claimed to be virgin when she was 18? I would not describe Selena Gomez as a hugely unattractive woman, would you?

  • Like 1
therhythm Established Member

therhythm

Posted
Posted
Oh hold the phone, she claimed something now did she.

 

So did the OP's girlfriend.

 

So because OP's girlfriend lied all women lie? I see...

 

I don't know why I try to argue with you... hate is blinding you and you don't listen to anything else than to the latent hate you have for women.

  • Like 4
Els Established Member

Els

Posted
Posted

It's also amusing to hear the assumption that any woman who is a virgin (whatever you might mean by the term), is only one because she had no opportunity to have sex.

 

Clearly all women jump at the opportunity to have sex with anyone who will have sex with them. ;)

  • Like 3
therhythm Established Member

therhythm

Posted
Posted
No, it means she wasn't desirable enough to attract one of the men women find desirable.

 

Even a truly monstrous beast of a girl can have sex well before adulthood if she wants to lower her standards.

 

The key word is exactly the one that you marked in bold... every woman can have sex when they want but it doesn't mean they do it...

What you don't get is that many women see sex in a very emotional way where it needs to be linked to a love relationship. Some women are religious and have religious views on how to live their sexuality, some women don't even like sex that much, some women link sex to marriage and would not consider it outside of that context, some women.... there are so many women in the world I would not dare to try to understand their reasons... but many (MANY) women in the world are not into casual sex and (MANY) of them are still virgin in their 20's

  • Like 2
Els Established Member

Els

Posted
Posted

Oh, absolutely. No 'desirable' women are ever traditional, or religious, or conservative, or... well, anything other than what you expect them to be. :)

 

Like therhythm, though, I think I'll leave you to your bitterness. Not worth it derailing the OP's thread to engage with you.

  • Like 1
therhythm Established Member

therhythm

Posted
Posted
Only if the man trying to get with them isn't sufficiently attractive. Are you kidding me? Immigrant communities and small cults aside religious girls are the easiest once you get them away from prying eyes.

 

 

I never said anything about casual.

 

Again, MANY women are highly unattractive what with the obesity epidemic and all. I never denied there were adult female virgins, just no attractive ones.

 

And that knowledge is based on...? Do you have many female friends who have told you their stories? Or based on looking at porn at home behind the computer? I am really curious how you have been blessed with the wisdom about women sexual behavior... please enlighten me.

  • Like 1
Maleficent Established Member

Maleficent

Posted
Posted
So because OP's girlfriend lied all women lie? I see...

 

I don't know why I try to argue with you... hate is blinding you and you don't listen to anything else than to the latent hate you have for women.

 

I still want to know if she SAID she was a virgin or if he ASSUMED she was...and now thinks she lied.

therhythm Established Member

therhythm

Posted
Posted
I still want to know if she SAID she was a virgin or if he ASSUMED she was...and now thinks she lied.

 

See quoted bellow.

 

She admitted it when I asked her again about it. I had a feeling she wasn't really a virgin.
Mrlonelyone Established Member

Mrlonelyone

Posted
Posted (edited)

Finding a good looking virgin woman over 18 but under 22 isn't impossible. The thing is you won't find one that is really "pure".

 

Most "virgin" women have done everything but have vaginal sex, with a man putting his *e_nis in them. They will have had a *e_nis everywhere else but that and still say their a virgin. (Those are the same ones that don't want to give their husbands anal or anal sex... much less *** to mouth.)

 

My serious advice to the OP would be to put the idea of finding a pure woman with no sexual experience who's over the age of 18 out of his mind. He needs to either go to a country where it's legal to marry a 16 year old (Some of them are in Europe), or find a woman who loves him and let her love him.

 

Hold out long enough and you will just be bitter. 25 and a virgin at an age where, real talk, it's no longer a badge of honor even to the religious.

 

:)

Edited by Mrlonelyone
TheGuard13 Established Member

TheGuard13

Posted
Posted
You're one of the few that understands me. I always dreamt about my first time being special, that moment where both the girl and I trade our v-cards; a one time event that'll never repeat itself.

 

It's nice to want things. The reality of the situation is that the moment you speak of will probably be horribly awkward and downright awful. Best to put this girl's lie and your desire to trade "V cards" in perspective and decide how much you really want that VS how you really feel about her.

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...