Echo000 Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Anyone ever been in love with someone who is moving to the other side of the country? Knowing she is gone for good is killing me, even if i know it may be a blessing that she is moving away in the long run. Im still in love with her
Talulah Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Hi Echo0000, Yes,I was (maybe am) in love with someone who is moving to the other side of the world.So, I can feel the pain. But I am moving too, so it's ok. I think that he danger of losing touch is always there.
drpepper1886 Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Yup, same situation. She's been out of state for 3 or 4 months now I think. Don't even know anymore, don't even care.
JDPT Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 I can't say I have but take the positive as you said, this person is moving very far away from you which can work in your favor while you heal. Implement all tools necessary, we all have our weak moment but keep in mind these are only weak moments that's all they are.
Hoaks Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 I would take that as a positive Echo, I would love it if my ex moved to the other side of the country. As it stands now, im at work and she is literaly 5 minutes away from me
JDPT Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 I would take that as a positive Echo, I would love it if my ex moved to the other side of the country. As it stands now, im at work and she is literaly 5 minutes away from me Same here I wish my ex would move to the other side of the world.
eachcomingnight Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Having my ex (from an LDR) on the other side of the world made it more difficult at first to move past him, as I went from constant contact to none at all, but in the long run I think it has accelerated my healing.
Author Echo000 Posted July 18, 2013 Author Posted July 18, 2013 im sure in the long run her moving will make it easier, but in the short run it makes it hurt so much. she doesnt even seem to think its a big deal..which hurt even more. cuz it kills me inside.
drpepper1886 Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 im sure in the long run her moving will make it easier, but in the short run it makes it hurt so much. she doesnt even seem to think its a big deal..which hurt even more. cuz it kills me inside. I've been NC since pretty much the breakup, she moved away and then a month after she moved sent me a birthday text, I just said thanks. I found out from friends she had moved. Cared enough to send me a bday text (felt guilty enough to) but not enough to say she was moving. Makes it easier to move on in the long run; stay strong.
Author Echo000 Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 Just completely out of no where. literally she had been telling me how excited she was to see me, that i better visit before the time i was supposed to go back, etc. We set boundaries on being friends, about expectations and about maybe (if things were good) being more in the future. then boom. just like that. She apologized half heartedly for telling me so casually via text, but she was "just so excited". lol what a lack of common sense..so excited so tell your ex bf immediately via text.. How long you been NC? How long had yall been NC before you found out she had moved? How did you feel, and how long did you feel badly about it (if in fact you felt bad)? How long has it been since you found out she moved? And how do you feel now? This whole thing has been a huge emotional roller coaster/mind fu** for me, and im desperately trying to get over this now.
drpepper1886 Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 How long you been NC? Broke up 10 months ago, shady LC area for 2 weeks right after; then I told her I couldn't be friends and went NC. Sent email to her admitting my mistakes telling her I wish it hadn't ended about 3.5 months after and got an email back with her saying me me me, nothing to be gained. NC again. How long had yall been NC before you found out she had moved? We had been NC about 4 months (minus the email, but no personal details were shared in any emails). A friend had mentioned she was looking for jobs in the town she was moving to. She was interviewing in that city around the time I sent the email. This was around March, found out she moved end of that month. How did you feel, and how long did you feel badly about it (if in fact you felt bad)? I felt bad about it for maybe 1-2 weeks where that 1% of hope had kind of died out. But then I honestly felt that it would be good for her (if she put in some personal work). She had a lot of bad influences around here and you're the sum of the 5 people you hang out with. So I think she did the right thing for her. How long has it been since you found out she moved? It's been about 4-5 months since I found out. And how do you feel now? I feel pretty good now, I still think about her from time to time but nothing gives me that 'uneasy gut' feeling anymore. Just a general "oh ya, that happened, it sucked, moving forward", So I try to just change my thoughts after that so I don't balloon them out of control. I honestly still have slight hope she'll return some day, but I don't count on it and I don't want it to be too soon because I know she hasn't grown in to someone who is capable for a realistic relationship. It's the perfect time for us to both grow. I'm fine with or without her at this point. Just a matter of not feeding the thoughts that are not helpful to my personal growth or moving on. The timeline and months might not match up because I don't really know the exact date she left because it was kind of a grey area and took her 2-3 weeks before she moved all her stuff out of our apartment. I didn't really count and still don't count days/months of NC, it's just part of my normal life.
Author Echo000 Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 thanks for the response. i really appreciate it. well today marks two weeks since i found this out, and 10 days of NC. I have been struggling HARD..but am doing okay i think. i keep tripping myself up in my head, wondering if she will contact me again before she moves away for good in late august. sad part is, i know it doesnt even matter and even if she does i should just ignore it anyway. after those two weeks where u said you felt bad, how was it after? and also, how was it "bad" for you? for me, my mind wont stop running, with memories and thoughts and ocd stuff you know? thanks again, i really value your advise.
drpepper1886 Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Each and every time I hear something about her or see something about her it hurts less and less and for a shorter and short amount of time. You haven't been no contact for very long and in essence you're starting the breakup all over again. You might be slightly ahead of previous. I'm sure it'll take you a couple more months to get your feet back on the ground again. Keep busy, hit the gym, re-read the no contact guide when you are feeling down. It's the best thing you can do for you. It's okay to have some hope that she might come back, but you need to first and foremost work on not caring if she does or not. Nothing wrong with caring or loving someone you spent a long time with no one is telling you to completely erase them from memory. It sucks, but the only way through the woods in through it.
Author Echo000 Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 all true. and i appreciate it. definitely feel like this is a huge setback, but to be honest i realize how i had only put a band aid on the wound- now the band aid has actually been ripped off and i am forced to truly heal and move on. Just sucks, because i still love her. and i cant fully erase hope she will contact me/"stay" even (definitely not happening). I guess your right, comes down to feeling bad about it right now and realizing it will get better over time. because i also keep reminding myself that i deserve better. she was never a great girlfriend (although she tried), and these past two months of contact have actually been pretty hurtful--she wasnt very nice to me. And the way she has handled this decision to move, the way she casually texted me about it and just assumed i would see her before she leaves and that i would be a support system to her until she was at least "settled" over on the east coast was extremely hurtful. Time is the answer then huh? and keeping NC too i imagine
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