InsaneTrombone Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 It's hard enough getting something reliable through OLD. I do get responses from women, we'll have a small conversation over the website, and then they get cold / stop responding out of the blue. Is it best to ask for the phone #s right away? Maybe after 4-5 messages? If so, what are the boundaries of communication? I'm what you can say pretty reliable as far as texting goes, I text. A lot. Often. I respond relatively quickly, and I'm beginning to think this isn't helping my situation. Should I purposely be putting some of my responses / texts off by lengthy times? Exchange a few texts and not get back to them for 24 hours or something? I was in a long distance relationship for a few years and texting was our main form of communication, and we did it a lot...so I'm kind of in a habit with it. Any other tips would be appreciated.
Philosoraptor Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 You should secure either a date or another form of communication once you know there is mutual interest. Something a simple as writing before you go to bed: "I'm going to be out tomorrow and unable to check messages here, but would like to keep chatting and getting to know one another. My number is 1234567890, feel free to give me a call or shoot me a text." Be assertive by giving your number rather than asking, it puts the ball in her court and you'll know her interest level. At that point, secure a date on the phone.
pyramid Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 I like when the guy gives his number or better yet, asks to meet by the 3rd email. I used to be an endless messaging type of person, but after a few cases of getting attached before meeting in person and not being attracted - I prefer to meet sooner. If someone keeps emailing with no progression in sight, I tend to lose interest. Once we are in the texting phase, I do like prompt responses, but not a flood of texts - and think about your reply for a minute. You don't need to send it before hers finishes loading Limit the texting to one or two short conversations a day, max, unless you have had a discussion with her about more or she initiates/encourages it. I hate feeling smothered and bombarded, especially if I don't really know someone yet.
happykat Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 They probably stop responding because someone else has come along that did get her number, and held her interest. When I'm doing OLD I get so many messages that if you don't somehow grab my attention, your message is quickly at the bottom of the pile. What has worked on me is a more direct approach - if you feel a rapport after just a few messages, just send a message that simply says "you're funny (or cute)! text me- (xxx)xxx-xxxx"... actually the one the other poster suggested is really good- send one at night : "I won't be at my computer tomorrow, but I'd like to chat more.. so text me"-- and give your number", good idea!
phineas Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 I've had women that disappeared after the 2nd message 6 months ago blow up my in-box 6 months later when I hit them up again and give me their number. I've had women tell me they would like to chat a little more before giving me their number then the next day double message me all butt-hurt thinking I don't want to talk to them anymore when I didn't respond to their 1st message a few hrs later. then ignore me when I got back to them explaining I wasn't home. SRS. I've had women just give me their number when I tell them i'm heading out to the gym & won't be online any more that night. Honestly there is no rhyme or reason. It really depends on the girl and if she is responding to you in real time.
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