7andcounting Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 I have posted twice on here talking about the rollarcoaster ride that I have been on in my marriage. Final straw was on June 10th my husband was almost successful on his 2nd suicide attempt. Our marriage has been over for a long time, but this totally set our divorce into motion. Yesterday was our first attempt at mediation. He was insistent at selecting the mediator (its a control thing and I thought it would give him the "power" he wanted). He scheduled the "settlement meeting" with the attorney he has been consulting with. I was basically lambasted in this meeting and the attorney who said would be impartial was not really impartial. Its making me crazy that he wants EVERYTHING!!! With the exception of 50% of our homes proceeds. I am so afraid to push things too far because of his emotional state. But at the same time I am allowing myself to be screwed in the process. I'm the "bread winner", but when we married he was, he let his business go and is now making 21k a year. My salary is not huge and can not really afford child support and spousal support. I guess I don't really have a question, but I don't have anyone to talk about it with. I just have me, he has family and everything here and I am on my own. The process is making me crazy because I am trying so hard and feel like he is walking all over me. Why does he feel entitled to everything we own when he has been skating by for the last 6 years? He was more obsessed with me so his efforts were concentrated on me not his work.
It-is-what-it-is. Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 First of all get an ass kicking lawyer of your own tomorrow. Don't meet with them again until you are properly represented. He can ask for whatever he wants, but you need someone to help protect you and your interests. You also need a therapist to get you through this, your husband is all kinds of messed up. So sorry you are dealing with this. 2
LisaLee Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 You agreed to a mediation with a mediator he chose and with an attorney that he is paying for. Neither the mediator nor the attorney are working for you, thus they do not have your best interest. Yes, you let your sympathy for him sucker you. Now you learn from your mistake get yourself your own lawyer and start fighting for you. Stop giving him control, or you will pay for it emotionally and financially. 1
hayewils Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Yes, you absolutely need to get yourself and attorney. Right now, you are the favorite type of meat, Tigers love to eat. Get an attorney and put some thumbtacks in that meat.
CC12 Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 (edited) You agreed to a mediation with a mediator he chose and with an attorney that he is paying for. Neither the mediator nor the attorney are working for you, thus they do not have your best interest. Yes, you let your sympathy for him sucker you. Now you learn from your mistake get yourself your own lawyer and start fighting for you. Stop giving him control, or you will pay for it emotionally and financially. The bolded part above is almost exactly what I was going to post. OP, always remember that if someone is being paid, they are going to be on the side of the person who is paying them. (EDIT: Hmm. Maybe I misunderstood. I thought the "mediator" was actually the lawyer he hired. Was there actually an impartial mediator present, or just the lawyer?) You tried to play nice and now you see that's not going to work for you. I am so afraid to push things too far because of his emotional state. Let your lawyer push things for you, then. You can try to think about the divorce as more of a business negotiation. The personal side of it is pretty much over and done with since the divorce is actually happening now. His mental health is no longer your responsibility. Edited July 18, 2013 by CC12
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