Jay10 Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 so just to start off, ive read tons and tons of articles about gettin the ex back and moving on but for some reason i feel my situation is different (not really but we all like to think that!) i appreciate any and all of the insight that you beautiful people can give me so i dated my girl for 6 months, and we've been now broken up for a month, her idea. it started off as long distance for the first 4 months, i was away at school, but we saw each other every weekend and things were going great. the first three or four dates wed hit up the movies yet but after wed just talk in the car from about 15 -5am, then 11-4am, and this happened a few times. there was great chemistry there. we were completely ourselves in front of each other. the week i get back from school she starts acting all strange and we didnt hang out much. She was overwhelmed at the idea at how serious it seemed now that i moved back. but after that things turned around, we talked about it and it went great. a month after that we were both at a perty and she was acting shady. just not paying too much attention to me. the evening resulted in us talked for 4 hrs and she said she wasnt sure and that she wanted a break. that night thought we still slept in the same bed and she was all over me still, being super affectionate. this "break lasted a whole 3 days while we still talked during that time. we met up and made up. she explained that she does love me and that it scares her how overwhelming it feels at times. all her past boyfriend cheated on her and she had developed some trust issues and forced herself to back off out of fear of getting hurt. by the way we were the first two people in our lives that we were in love with and it meant a great deal to us. we shared parts of ourselves that we had never showed to other people before, even telling each other this fact. it felt special, not too sound too romantic or anything haha so again things went great for about a month but then she decided one day to break up saying "she wasnt into it anymore". this caught me by surprised cause even just a few days before that we were talking and being all "cute" saying how each other is the most special person blah blah blah... we never argued or had a big fight. just one or two small disagreements. a few days before we broke up we had an amazing day yet after she was acting all cold so it made my worry, (yes my own insecurities i see that now) but i questioned her "do you not love me, it makes me sad when you act like this" i ended up driving her home but there was still a connection. we were never mad at each other. she still showed affection like brushing something off my face and even gave me a kiss before she left. she said that shed be upset a few days but then she'd get over it, which i guess didnt happen. we txted each other the next two days and i apologized about how i acted then the next day she says shes not into it. i left her alone for two days and she texted me, i didnt respond. then she messaged me a few days after that that whe should meet up. i agreed and for the next 4 days we talked as if nothing really happened. i suggested we meet up one night, but she was tired that night and said lets do it the next day. the next day she didn't call at all but in the evening she wrote that she got cold feet and was nervous to see me, wouldnt know what to say to me. the day after that she wrote to me that she thinks the breakup is "retarded" and that it is not what i want or what she ants and that she does not like how it ended up. she suggested that in two days we meet up for a walk. initially i said i cant but the next day i wrote back that i can before work. she then said she has plans. so then i suggested that she let me know if she does want to meet up. two weeks went by without talking. but then a few days ago i messaged her and we casually talked for about an hour, not about the relationship. the communication was good. she would instantly respond and sent long answers about her weeks, showing interest. we never had a fight and do not hate each other. so it seems that both of us dont like where this situation is at the moment. i am just going to give her some space for a week or so, see if she contacts me. if not ill message her eventually and if that goes well, ask for a brief coffee meet up. thats my plan so far not hung up on this girl, ive already started talking to other girls, just feel that it was a silly situation and that theres still potential in this relationship. the reason why she ended it was that she was not affectionate enough and she knew it bothered me but most days she was kind and caring. we all have our off days. so i think she may have just panicked thinking that she wasnt good enough for my "standards" or some crap but im willing to take it slow and see if theres chemistry still. any thoughts? if you actually read all that then ur a saint!
Legatus Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 I think you are doing the right thing by giving her time. If she comes around you can talk to her to know whether there is a chance that you two can be on the same page, otherwise you are going to go in circles with those nice conversations and all. If you see potential then you have to do whatever you can to make it work and I think you are doing it pretty well. If she won't let you that's her loss. At least you won't have any regrets...
Philosoraptor Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 She's trying to keep you on a leash with all of this back and forth stuff. Doesn't seem like she wants anything commited with you, but doesn't want you far enough that you might end up with someone else. She's either testing the waters with someone else and keeping you as a backup plan or just in no way over her past and not ready for a relationship. Either way, looks like a lost cause. Better to cut ties now and save yourself some time.
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