Rnd78 Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Exactly one week ago today I made the decision to leave my relationship with my gf of 5 short months. The reason for my leaving was because of trust and not feeling secure enough to proceed any further. Been down that road before and didn't want to take it a second time. The reason for the trust issues stems from early in the relationship when things started becoming serious I found out she was "sexting" with a previous friend/lover, whatever. I should of ended it there but gave her another shot because she did express her love continuously and I did care for her. Bad idea, I know, something I would have never done in my younger years. We carried on for awhile had some great days and some not so great, but no matter what I just couldn't shake the bad feeling I was having with the trust, every time she used her phone I became "concerned" this isn't healthy and I know it. On top of that there are a few more reasons that made me feel insecure, drinking, white lies.... I had to get out. Over the course of the relationship I developed deep feelings for her and she started to use the "L" word...needless to say if i said it back it just didn't feel right. That's not to say I didn't care for her at all because I really do. I have no intentions on getting back together with her, and when I told her I was leaving I told her the truth and made it clear about the trust and told her it would be selfish of me to want to stay in the relationship. She took it pretty badly and immediately thought I was leaving for someone else. She almost went into a panic mode, pissed to calm and back to pissed. She asked if I was going to be her friend, I said of course but it would be hard though as feelings are still there. Everything happened so fast, I still care for her but I know I can't be with her and walking away was a very hard thing to do....well fast forward to these past few days and she has contacted me saying she is dating someone new and trying to make me feel bad it seems, to which that does, I mean how can someone move on so fast? just this morning on FB she said "she is all smiles and couldn't be happier at this point in her life" so I quickly hit the unfriend and block button to not have to see her posts and have made the decision to go NC completely. I guess what makes me feel awkward is the fact that I am the dumper, yet I feel bad and wake up feeling uneasy. I also have no desire to jump in to anything serious anytime soon. It just hurts to see how some people you fall for are not at all what the seem to be. The experience will certainly make me stronger.
Philosoraptor Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 If the trust isn't there then you made the right decision to not go any futher than comfortable. Her actions after the fact show that you were right, as rather than being patient she moved on and jumped to the next available man. Good on you for sticking to your gut and continuing to follow it by going NC. If more people did the same there would be less pain in the world.
theonlyjuan Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 She is just rebounding, by the sounds of it. You do silly things when you are upset. You're mind is all over the place and judgment is sometimes off. When I came out of a longgggg relationship, I got involved with some girl and convinced myself I liked her. That went tits up, and I was sad for a few weeks. I met my current ex a few weeks after and only about a month later we were in a relationship. I convinced myself it was all great, we had so much in common, I am finally happy. Until we recently broke up, I realised it wasn't that happy lovely picture i painted in my head. My family said I never seemed THAT happy, only at the beginning. My friends said I didn't seem it either. You can lie and convince yourself that things are great, eventually it comes unstuck and you realise you made a lot up in your head. I had good times and we got on well but it was no where what I made it out to be. She will come unstuck soon. Try not to take it so hard, she feels upset and is trying to make it out like she is coping and moving on. Been there and done that a few times now. Trying hard not to do it again
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