savethedrama4allama Posted October 25, 2004 Posted October 25, 2004 And I think Merin hit the nail right on the head. Maybe we can see it because we're third persons. Babe, I think we've all been where you're at, but he really was quite blunt. You two shared something but he considers it a mistake, and he won't be pursuing anything further with you. Save your self-respect and don't contact him again.
savethedrama4allama Posted October 25, 2004 Posted October 25, 2004 Originally posted by daterhater I guess you guys are right. Now I feel like completely avoiding him while he's in town. Just let it ride until you find out he's back in town. Deal with that when you come to it. By then you maybe over this embarassment completely.
Author daterhater Posted October 25, 2004 Author Posted October 25, 2004 thanks for the advice. i didn't stop to think that he was just being nice and didn't want to hurt me with his email. there really was no other way he could have put it without resorting to being a jerk in his e-mail. i can definitely see why he hasn't written me back since then. he probably pulled the "i want to be friends" card because he thinks i'll be with david when he's in town and doesn't want things to be awkward with me. forget that. i will avoid him and david like the plague when he's in town.
bluechocolate Posted October 25, 2004 Posted October 25, 2004 I think he made it very clear in his email where you stood in his life & what he was willing to do to pursue you - which was very little. if things were different, I'd move to your city, be in David's band and forget all my old ties to old stupid ****, but I don't know how to do that. and it just can't happen And anyway, you spent ONE night with this guy & sent a couple of emails back & forth - it doesn't matter how special you think that night was - you don't even know each other. Do you even realise what he said here? and being drunk and stupid felt INCREDIBLE.. especially since she moved to a beach house with surfer dudes all over her..... Your special night was him being drunk & stupid & being pissed off at his ex(?) girlfriend. He then goes on to say i've made a mistake and i feel like hell, but in other eyes I was in the perfect place at the perfect time It is not my intention to belittle your feelings but I think that you are taking this WAY too seriously and possibly setting yourself up in the process. Now you're saying stuff like "he doesn't realise he deserves better", "i definitely think he needs to stop holding onto her", "he needs time to realise that there are better things out there for him" - it could just be that that better thing is someone other than you. You need to keep things in perspective - it was only one drunken stupid night in which he was pissed off with Tara & feels that what he did with you was a mistake - again, his words, not mine. If you want to be friends fine, but that isn't what you want. Why waste your time "pretending" to be friends with a guy who has already told you that he is emotionally unavailable?
Author daterhater Posted October 25, 2004 Author Posted October 25, 2004 yes, yes, yes. i get it already. i was an idiot who made a huge deal out of one night with a guy and assumed he'd change his life for me and want to be with me. i'm an idiot. i know. i should have realized this. i shoudln't have been so nice to him. i wish i would have never sent him the e-mail which led to that last e-mail of his. i wish i wouldn't have told him i liked him. i wish i wouldn't have agreed to being his friend. i feel like yelling at him when he's in town. of course, he doesn't care, so what's the point.
Merin Posted October 25, 2004 Posted October 25, 2004 Originally posted by daterhater yes, yes, yes. i get it already. i was an idiot who made a huge deal out of one night with a guy and assumed he'd change his life for me and want to be with me. i'm an idiot. i know. i should have realized this. i shoudln't have been so nice to him. i wish i would have never sent him the e-mail which led to that last e-mail of his. i wish i wouldn't have told him i liked him. i wish i wouldn't have agreed to being his friend. i feel like yelling at him when he's in town. of course, he doesn't care, so what's the point. Don't be so hard on yourself... You had a different hope for an outcome... it didn't happen, but you know what? You'll be okay:) You're not an idiot, you my friend are a romantic! And thats okay! Just next time make sure it's for someone who deserves that from you! Don't sweat it girl! No damage done... hurt your ego a little, but you'll be fine.
bluechocolate Posted October 25, 2004 Posted October 25, 2004 Originally posted by daterhater yes, yes, yes. i get it already. i was an idiot who made a huge deal out of one night with a guy and assumed he'd change his life for me and want to be with me. i'm an idiot. i know. i should have realized this. i shoudln't have been so nice to him. i wish i would have never sent him the e-mail which led to that last e-mail of his. i wish i wouldn't have told him i liked him. i wish i wouldn't have agreed to being his friend. i feel like yelling at him when he's in town. of course, he doesn't care, so what's the point. Oh please - come on now - I don't think you're an idiot. I also had started typing my 2nd response and was away from the computer when all those others responded. Had I seen this thanks for the advice. i didn't stop to think that he was just being nice and didn't want to hurt me with his email. there really was no other way he could have put it without resorting to being a jerk in his e-mail. i can definitely see why he hasn't written me back since then. he probably pulled the "i want to be friends" card because he thinks i'll be with david when he's in town and doesn't want things to be awkward with me. forget that. i will avoid him and david like the plague when he's in town. I would not have posted again. Now of course I'm sorry that I did.
Author daterhater Posted October 26, 2004 Author Posted October 26, 2004 Originally posted by Merin2 Don't be so hard on yourself... You had a different hope for an outcome... it didn't happen, but you know what? You'll be okay:) You're not an idiot, you my friend are a romantic! And thats okay! Just next time make sure it's for someone who deserves that from you! Don't sweat it girl! No damage done... hurt your ego a little, but you'll be fine. ha. that's what he said. "find someone who deserves you" but that's hard. the guys i think deserve me, don't like me.
Merin Posted October 26, 2004 Posted October 26, 2004 Originally posted by daterhater ha. that's what he said. "find someone who deserves you" but that's hard. the guys i think deserve me, don't like me. Don't sweat it girl! You know dating is hard, and sometimes is sucks. When you find someone "deserving" they need to be 100% available, someone who makes you feel great about yourself (now how is a guy who doesn't like you making you feel good about yourself?) someone you get along well with, someone who shares your common beliefs and is an overall good guy... Justin.. again, you know when someone is telling you that they don't deserve you.. or that you are too good for them.. absolutely believe them. You will find someone awesome... tiempo.
Author daterhater Posted October 26, 2004 Author Posted October 26, 2004 Originally posted by Merin2 Don't sweat it girl! You know dating is hard, and sometimes is sucks. When you find someone "deserving" they need to be 100% available, someone who makes you feel great about yourself (now how is a guy who doesn't like you making you feel good about yourself?) someone you get along well with, someone who shares your common beliefs and is an overall good guy... Justin.. again, you know when someone is telling you that they don't deserve you.. or that you are too good for them.. absolutely believe them. You will find someone awesome... tiempo. thank you that makes me feel good.
Merin Posted October 27, 2004 Posted October 27, 2004 Originally posted by daterhater thank you that makes me feel good. You're welcome:)
Author daterhater Posted November 12, 2004 Author Posted November 12, 2004 I have an update if any of you care!! So last I heard, Chris and his girlfriend decided to "live separate lives" whatever the hell that means. He was in town with his band from Monday night until Thursday morning. I tried to avoid him and my friend because I thought if he wanted to see me, it would be his job to do the contacting. Anyway, I ran into him on campus. He and my friend were checking e-mail. I freaked out. My hands actually started shaking. I didn't think I'd react that way. Chris was shocked as well. I couldn't stand it, so I just said hi and bye and pretended I had to be someplace. Later I felt bad for the way I acted to him, so I wrote him this: <i>hi chris, hope you and the band are having a swell time in town. sorry i was so weird today. i'm not good at talking especially now since i put away my voice for winter and since i honestly don't know what to say/how to act around you. anyway, i guess i will get some sleep now. hope everything's great with you. </i> He wrote me back... <i>you've put your voice away for winter? how does one do this? i would also like to put some things away for winter. like this tour! i'm just as awkward, so don't feel bad about the brief encounter yesterday. . . i never know how to act, but let's just agree to let our awkwardness cancel eachother out.. and let things be ok. i still think you're the coolest. . . and i would have loved to talk to you, perhaps deliver a comforting embrace even.. it was nice to see you regardless.. welp, i'll be mulling around town for the next 24 hours. </i> and i took that e-mail as him wanting to see me while he was in town, so i tried calling him. his cell had been taken. i called my friend to have him get ahold of chris. chris evidently had been walking all over town ALONE. i didn't see him until that night at the show. at the show, he was really awkward. i tried to be nice and friendly, but gradually gave up and sat down to watch the show. he had a hard time looking me in the eye even. he seemed pretty weird the whole night. he stood on the edge of the stage staring off into space the whole night. that upset me quite a bit, so i decided to do the dumb thing... I GOT REALLY DRUNK! Bad move....especially since I really liked Chris and wanted to make a good impression regardless of whether or not we'd end up together (which we obviously aren't). anyway, i ended up having to stay at my friend's house where chris and his band were staying and where this solo act (a friend of mine named matt) was staying. he was on tour with chris' band. I ALSO ENDED UP MAKING OUT WITH MATT IN THE SAME PLACE I MADE OUT WITH CHRIS TWO MONTHS EARLIER. i had to wake up, walk out of the room i shared with matt, and pass chris. i said "bye" but he barely got a bye out himself. that is the end of chris. i am pretty sure he hates me now and wouldn't respond to email. and i'm an idiot for making out with matt. the end.
Merin Posted November 12, 2004 Posted November 12, 2004 Damn! Well.. you know what can you do.. Keep going forward. I'm sure Chris doesn't hate you.. and besides you don't owe him anything. Matt.. whats up there? Any potential?
Author daterhater Posted November 12, 2004 Author Posted November 12, 2004 matt is really great, but he moved. he lives like 8 hours away now. i'm doomed to only find guys who live out of state.
Merin Posted November 12, 2004 Posted November 12, 2004 Originally posted by daterhater matt is really great, but he moved. he lives like 8 hours away now. i'm doomed to only find guys who live out of state. 8 hours isn't that bad? Don't stress.. You WILL find the right guy.. maybe it will be Matt, but even if it isn't.. You will be okay and find the right one.
Pinky19 Posted November 12, 2004 Posted November 12, 2004 He's obviously still not over his girl. I think he really enjoyed your company, and likes the attention that you are giving him, but nothing more than that. If he felt the same way about you as you do about him, he would be doing everything to be with you. Your lucky that he was honest with you about the situation he is in. I think you should lose contact with him and move on with your life. If he wants you, he'll come after you. He already knows how you feel. Sorry for the blunt, straight to the point reply, but I think it's better that you forget about him now, since it is still the beginning. Don't waste your time and effort on him. Good luck!
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