Sallygirl Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 (edited) I really, really need advice. I dated a co-worker for 6 months. It ended really badly. I was the one who actually walked away. Everything happened about a month ago. I immediately initiated NC, blocking him from facebook. The Wednesday before the 4th of July, he came into my work area. He was there for a work reason, but could have waited the 15 minutes until I left for the day. He asked about my vacation and wanted to chit chat. Yesterday we ran into each other twice. Actually the second time he was behind me, although I never would have known it if he didn't yell out to me to let me know). Both times I tried to keep it brief, but he kept asking questions and kept the conversation going each time I tried to end it. He even walked with me to my work area. And in the afternoon, he walked by 3 times (there is a window right where I sit, that looks to the hallway he is walking in, so he knows ill see him). There are other ways for him to go, and he has been avoiding my area for the last month (except that Wednesday before the 4th). Until yesterday. Yesterday he walked by more than he normally did before he started to avoid the area. I know he is still seeing the other girl, and for those of you that do not know the back story, he has also not yet filed for divorce for his WIFE!!! I guess I just need advice on how to deal with seeing him. I've tried NC in every way I have control over, but since we work together, I can't control where he walks or if he comes in to talk to me. It also really bothers me that apparently he thinks I'm ok with everything (although my friends say I also sound that way when I talk to him). Although I know he knows how much he hurt me, I'm trying to not show it now and I'm also trying to be professional). We were friends for 5 1/2 years before we dated, and I think he thinks we can go right back to how things were. I can't. I don't want to. It's definitely too soon. Any advice you can give would be really appreciated. Edited July 17, 2013 by Sallygirl
AllTooWell Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 This guy sounds like a jerk. If he tries to talk say "Hi, hope you're doing well, I'm really sorry but I've got a meeting/I'm in a rush, etc" Then walk away.
Author Sallygirl Posted July 17, 2013 Author Posted July 17, 2013 Thanks AllTooWell. I'll try tat. My concern is he won't stop now that he has started making contact again. Is it too much for me to say to him that I'm still really hurt and that although ill be professional, I don't want t be friends with him and I need him to leave me alone?
Author Sallygirl Posted July 18, 2013 Author Posted July 18, 2013 Anyone out there have advice?? Please...
AllTooWell Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Thanks AllTooWell. I'll try tat. My concern is he won't stop now that he has started making contact again. Is it too much for me to say to him that I'm still really hurt and that although ill be professional, I don't want t be friends with him and I need him to leave me alone? Just say "I don't wish to talk to you. Our relationship is purely professional now, other than work related matters please do not talk to me." 1
lessica Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 I really think you should make a subtle statement to shut him down. Because he seems very eager, and that is likely to get worse, it is like he thinks it is 'working'. I get the position you are in, so difficult with work. Bad enough my ex can literally turn up on my door step at anytime. I mean, if I am home and have doors open/unlocked he would have no hesitation walking it- this was his home for years. I have been locking up all the time now to avoid it. And I pretend I am not home if he turns up. I'd just be cold and short with him, forget about being polite. Eventually he will get it.
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