Lexy1 Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 (edited) Just few weeks back I have started with spinning class and got a crush on the trainer there. My feelings for him became very intense by knowing that went through a major operation in the past and was close to die. I never asked what exactly happened to him but the remaining long scar on his body confirms the pains he has been put through. Its so heart breaking for me and I realized that I respected him so much for his strengths and the attitude o not give up on life and make the best out of it. He must have trained so hard as his figure is just stunning. Anyhow, my plan to get in contact with this man worked well and we started messaging. Unfortunately, it quickly turned out to be only sex text which made him really excited. Via messages he pushed me to come over to his place and became pretty frustrated when I apologized myself to not make it today. He then wrote me sex text like that he has to get someone else if I don't come and he will sent me pictures to show me on proof how much fun he will have, or saying that I am not reliable and so on I did enjoy having his attention but was not ready to sleep with him since I knew he is only interested to get into my pants. Tough, I was so extremely attracted to him and it drove me crazy just thinking of having sex with him. However, I could calm him down by inviting him over to my place on the weekend. My period has arrived earlier as expected and he wished to post phone our deal. Since I was anyhow around in his area on this Sunday morning I asked him to come down and have some coffee together in the nearby coffee shop. He insisted that I come up to his apartment and suddenly did not mind anymore my period. Straight forward I said no but he did not give up until he realized I stick to my saying. Thats when he for the first time text my name and to wish me well in my future also that I should not messaging him anymore as he hates childish games. The last thing of gods earth was for me to make him upset and I went up. In the lift he text me that he is leaving now his apartment anyhow as he has to go to his friends but then I arrived at his door and he let me in to show me his place So there I was and then everything happened so quickly. We did not kiss and since he was in a rush ( I still believe he expected his room room arriving soon )he let himself go very quickly. Obviously, I remained untouched due to my period which he found very turning off . In the next days I did not hear from him at all and I kept NC too. I even did not visit his classes and literally vanished from his view. obviously hoping he is coming back to me. I knew that our time together is running out since he has planned a oversea trip back home with no exact return date. After 10 days NC I decided to take an admirer with me to his spinning class and did a gentle flirting with the guy in front of him. I also treated him neutral with a bit of ignoring him and besides all of that I made sure that my fitness outfit was super sexy. My plan worked out perfectly. He snapped at me during the spinning class over some exercise move he found I do wrong, he also made sure I watch him while he gently corrected some close by girls and all in all he was in miserable mood. However, he remind friendly and supportive to my admirer who was an inexperienced newcomer to his class. after the class we three had to take the same way home and he was walking by himself just few meters in front of us all the way until he reached his apartment. He knew that I was close behind him walking togheter with my admirer. The Admirer asked me why he was so feisty to me and obviously I could not tell him the truth. My man certainly was jealous and I felt so sorry for him. There he walks in front of me the guy I wished nothing more as to care for him and take of all his burden and let him forget the pain he once went through. The next day I text him to wish him a great flight and a good time oversea. He replied with a thank you and that I should stay well too. I asked him to meet for coffee but he had to get ready for work. I then invited him over to my place as I thought thats now our last chance to be once for all together, passionate and with love. Unfortunately he wrote back lets see what happens as he also had to pack and clean this place after work. I did respect that and even tough I told him he should come whenever he feels for it he never came over. He also did not text me and by 10.30 p.m I asked where he was. He mentioned sleeping and that he does not feel for having sex with me as he is tired and not up for it. Well, after a while he text me back that he tough would like having a threesome with two woman. He once mentioned that this was in his fantasy but put if behind quickly when I told him that this is not my cup of tea. So, still dont know why he suddenly brought it up again. Was that now the revenge? Turning me down but at the same time demanding sex with another woman including me? Everything went so well with my plan and than I smashed it completely by offering myself so easily. However, I text him a very feisty message back by letting him know that his quick performance the other day would anyhow not satisfy a second woman when he even could not make one happy, that he gave me the worst experience ever and I wish to be not contacted from him ever again. Thats been three days ago. Since then I am a emotionally a wrack. So endless sad as my only wish was to give him an unforgettable beautiful time in his life. I am totally confused don't understand the man thinking and still believe that something must have hold him back to open up to me. He seemed to heartless and cold. LIke my admire mentioned that he seems balanced but needs to have certain things under strict control. Obviously, I try to figure out why he turned down my offer to have me after being so hungry after me. What has changed his mind to let me come up use me for his only quick pleasure. I think he must have had a lot of pressure by waiting for the best moment to invite me since he only rented a room in a shared apartment with a girl. I have those feelings that they might were a couple in the past. The truth is I am emotionally smashed, sad, feisty and just wished I would have asked him more questions to find out his feelings. I am exhausted and cannot let go what happened in the last couple of weeks. I know very well how it feels when you are not interested or attracted in a person, you really don't care that much and what the say or what the do and I wonder if he must have felt in the same way. Were there hidden warm feelings for me behind his closed door. I wish I could in general understand the man thinking better and obviously why can treated me or acted in tiis way.Maybe some of you her on this side can clear a bit my confusion. Thank you Edited July 17, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Philosoraptor Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 You both were playing games and all he wanted was to get into your pants, nothing more. What did you expect to come from this? He showed what he wanted and you gave him a little bit of it.
Zahara Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 1. Find another gym. 2. When a man is open with you that they only want sex, believe that they only want sex. 3. When they only want sex, stop chasing them hoping for more. Revenge? No. He realizes that you want more when he just wants sex and he probably doesn't want to get involved with that drama. Asked you about the threesome hoping he could take a chance and still use you in someway. Loss of interest? There was no interest on his part other than wanting sex. Control of his own feelings? He had control of his own feelings. When you could not give him what he wanted, he let you go. Done deal. You on the other hand have no control over yourself.
Chi townD Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 He just wants to sleep with you, nothing more. I think you deserve better than that.
JDPT Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 way too much emphasis was put into having that "right moment." The spark is gone, I think everything that could have gone wrong did. Move along this is apparently a physical attraction that you have towards this man that can easily be replaced with another, be thankful that you don't have feelings for him besides wanting to get him in bed. Move along you will find someone else who you will feel as attractive as you feel about him.
Author Lexy1 Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Great reply from everyone. Thank you so much. Zahara, I think you hit the nail on the head. I understand it better now and believe that must have been the reason why he did not came over to my place at that night. Tough, there was anyhow no time to arrange a 3some as he had to fly overseas the following day. He also knew very well that I am not into that. So not sure why he brought it up again. My gut feelings were right from the beginning and that's why I always found excuses to dig out. I tough went up once when he really got p*** of with me when I again tried the escape route. Funny enough he then was apparently in such a rush that he could not eat the cake Hmm! That's still a bit confusing for me. If I anyhow just want sex which was pretty obvious in his case so why not grab it as long as you can? If I would have been him I probably would have come to the invention the night before I leave and finally take what I was casing the whole time. I also thought that he might was still the "hurt one" after my little flirt with my admirer during his class the day before. It definitely bothered him. However, I shouldn't have contacted him after that or just leave it by a short "have a nice trip overseas" message . I reckon I screwed it up as it ended with a "never ever contact me again. You have given me the worst experience ever" message to him. Its true but he doesn't care anyhow. Although, I wish to understand how the mind of guys works. The want sex but then rather not .. so complicated sometimes. However, thank you once again to all of you who were trying to open my eyes. It really did help a bit and I can see the picture clearer:) and also its great to get others opinions.
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