venuss Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 If a guy really likes a girl who is his friend he will try to charm her, call her all the time, compliment her and press all the right buttons in order to be in a relationship with her, even go at length of planning the future just the way she likes it, after all he was her friend and he knows what all matters to her and then may be get into her pants and leave or do whatever he wants. He feeds her brain words, its so easy. This is how it pretty much works in case of guy to girl chase. Now for the girls if they like a guy who is her friend, 'a chase' is not recommended, complimenting is very limited, guys do not really fall for that. She don't have to come across as needy or clingy or texting/calling him all the time is not the right thing to do. So what can she do to hit his mind. I have tried 'the looks' thing and it only gets a guy interested in sex. What exactly girls need to do to get him to commit and chase. I would like to be in a relationship with a man that I chose. I dont know how to play it!!
Appleness Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Getting a guy "interested" and getting a guy to commit are two completely different things. Getting a guy interested is not that hard. You said it yourself: doing "the looks" thing will get you the attention. Getting a guy to commit is harder, mainly because you ultimately can't control someone other than yourself. This means that you can't make someone fall in love with you if they don't want to. My suggestion is (if you aren't looking to attract one specific person) improve yourself overall. Besides improving your looks, improve who you are as a whole. Learn to cook, proper etiquette, being knowledgeable enough to have good conversation, get a good job. Guys usually want a girl with the same things we want in a guy: good looks, nice personality, the ability to take care of themselves (and possibly us too). If you have these traits, you'll start finding that once you have a guy's attention (because you're still doing "the looks" thing, right?) he'll be drawn in by what else you have to offer. Mind you, these things DO take time to work on. If you're looking for a guy to commit by next week, the above will most likely NOT work. Good luck 1
phineas Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 If I start hanging out with a woman as just a friend that is all she is going to be to me. a friend. If she wants more it's up to her to open her mouth and say so. I do not care how hot she is & trust me, some of my women friends are HOT. I do not become friends with women as a stepping stone to get with them. It's creepy, underhanded. and a fools errand. 1
Author venuss Posted July 17, 2013 Author Posted July 17, 2013 Getting a guy "interested" and getting a guy to commit are two completely different things. Getting a guy interested is not that hard. You said it yourself: doing "the looks" thing will get you the attention. Getting a guy to commit is harder, mainly because you ultimately can't control someone other than yourself. This means that you can't make someone fall in love with you if they don't want to. My suggestion is (if you aren't looking to attract one specific person) improve yourself overall. Besides improving your looks, improve who you are as a whole. Learn to cook, proper etiquette, being knowledgeable enough to have good conversation, get a good job. Guys usually want a girl with the same things we want in a guy: good looks, nice personality, the ability to take care of themselves (and possibly us too). If you have these traits, you'll start finding that once you have a guy's attention (because you're still doing "the looks" thing, right?) he'll be drawn in by what else you have to offer. Mind you, these things DO take time to work on. If you're looking for a guy to commit by next week, the above will most likely NOT work. Good luck Thanks for this. I am sadly in love with a man who already has a GF for 8 years, I feel he is with her for the sake of all the time that they have already spent together. She has filled up his house with their pictures all over. It's really more than normal and including their family pictures. He is still interested in me, what I feel though it may be just for sex. I want him to do something about it. So since we are still talking I wondered if I could do or say anything (even lie, since everything is fair in love and war) that will make him more seriously inclined towards me?
Keenly Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Thanks for this. I am sadly in love with a man who already has a GF for 8 years, I feel he is with her for the sake of all the time that they have already spent together. She has filled up his house with their pictures all over. It's really more than normal and including their family pictures. He is still interested in me, what I feel though it may be just for sex. I want him to do something about it. So since we are still talking I wondered if I could do or say anything (even lie, since everything is fair in love and war) that will make him more seriously inclined towards me? You don't see that as selfish ?
Author venuss Posted July 17, 2013 Author Posted July 17, 2013 You don't see that as selfish ? No what is selfish here?
New User Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 No what is selfish here? Really? What color is the sky on your planet? Suggesting that there is nothing wrong with trying to horn in on a relationship because you want to be with someone else's SO is only acceptable to narcissists and sociopaths. If he's banging you on the side while in a relationship with someone else he'd be banging someone else while in a relationship with you. And no, all is not fair in love and war. You sound like someone who has extremely low character and assumes that everyone else does. 4
Keenly Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 No what is selfish here? You want to lie to him in order to either sabotage or manipulate him onto ending an eight year relationship to be with you , and you don't see that as selfish ?
New User Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 You want to lie to him in order to either sabotage or manipulate him onto ending an eight year relationship to be with you , and you don't see that as selfish ? I'd wager that princess is deluded enough to think that the world revolves around her. That only her wants are important and that the impact on others is irrelevant. She's already indicated a willingness to lie and appears to have made the mistaken assumption that everyone else thinks like her.
salparadise Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 How to make a guy inetersted Get a spell checker... guys might phukk a woman who's illiterate but they don't want to be seen with them in public.
New User Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 How to make a guy inetersted Get a spell checker... guys might phukk a woman who's illiterate but they don't want to be seen with them in public. Spell check would just make that tangled mass of prose a correctly spelled tangled mass of prose. It was barely clear enough for me to make out the central themes of "I want I want I want I want" and "me me me me me." 1
Author venuss Posted July 17, 2013 Author Posted July 17, 2013 (edited) Excuse me! Just because someone has been in a relationship for so long doesn't means that they should remain in it for the sake of old times. They have problems and he will be seperated sooner or later for their own reasons. And nothing suggests that he will look for other women if he is with me. I just want him to take me seriously and I want to do something about it. I came out of a relationship few months back and feel quite serious about this one. Edited July 17, 2013 by venuss
Keenly Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Excuse me! Just because someone has been in a relationship for so long doesn't means that they should remain in it for the sake of old times. They have problems and he will be seperated sooner or later for their own reasons. And nothing suggests that he will look for other women if he is with me. I just want him to take me seriously and I want to do something about it. I came out of a relationship few months back and feel quite serious about this one. Let's go through a few things here. First, "just because some one is in a relationship for so long doesn't mean they should remain." While this is true in a sense, YOU are not the one that gets to decide any one else's business, and this is not your business. This is some one else's relationship, and I don't care how much you disapprove of it, you stay the hell out of it. "They have problems..." again , this is NONE of your business, and you need to butt out. You want him to take you seriously, but thats HIS call, not yours. If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you. You do not get to make these choices for him. That's awesome that you are serious about him but this is a TWO person issue , and you do not get to decide for him . 1
New User Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Excuse me! Just because someone has been in a relationship for so long doesn't means that they should remain in it for the sake of old times. They have problems and he will be seperated sooner or later for their own reasons. And nothing suggests that he will look for other women if he is with me. I just want him to take me seriously and I want to do something about it. I came out of a relationship few months back and feel quite serious about this one. I can't tell if you're a fool, a narcissist, or both. Why on earth would he take you seriously? You've told us that you're practically throwing yourself at someone who's in a committed relationship. This is not indicative of the qualities one seeks in a relationship. You've indicated a willingness to lie in order to get him- do you really think that he hasn't picked up on your lack of ethics? Everything that you've posted here amounts to "me me me me." You aren't the most important person in the world. You're not even the most important person in this sad little scenario you've presented- more so if they have kids. You appear to completely lack the ability to consider the effects of your actions on anyone but yourself. I don't know if you were expecting everyone to join hands and sing "Kumbaya" while celebrating your attempt to screw up someone else's relationship, but you've seriously miscalculated. Very few people celebrate ethical bankruptcy to the point that they will try to aid and abet it. And no. not many people will excuse you.
Author venuss Posted July 18, 2013 Author Posted July 18, 2013 (edited) I can't tell if you're a fool, a narcissist, or both. Why on earth would he take you seriously? You've told us that you're practically throwing yourself at someone who's in a committed relationship. This is not indicative of the qualities one seeks in a relationship. You've indicated a willingness to lie in order to get him- do you really think that he hasn't picked up on your lack of ethics? Everything that you've posted here amounts to "me me me me." You aren't the most important person in the world. You're not even the most important person in this sad little scenario you've presented- more so if they have kids. You appear to completely lack the ability to consider the effects of your actions on anyone but yourself. I don't know if you were expecting everyone to join hands and sing "Kumbaya" while celebrating your attempt to screw up someone else's relationship, but you've seriously miscalculated. Very few people celebrate ethical bankruptcy to the point that they will try to aid and abet it. And no. not many people will excuse you. No I did not presented myself really well here. He came after me and I get that he was only attracted and now he is taking interest in my personal life and is being a good influence, so I just want this to work. It did started of as that he wanted to be out of his current relationship. I don't ask him about when and how cause that's none of my business, having said that, his being in a relationship does concerns me a lot, and I resist expressing/involving myself too much to him. My friends who know about us say that I need to have patience with this guy and I am not particularly happy about the whole situation but cannot help the feelings that I have for him. The point where I said I was okay to lie, was just to get out of booty call zone (in case that's all that he is expecting) its not for affecting anything else. All situations are not always like available guy with available girl falling in love. It does gets complicated sometimes and people do leave partners if the relationship starts to become a pain. Edited July 18, 2013 by venuss
Emilia Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 All situations are not always like available guy with available girl falling in love. It does gets complicated sometimes and people do leave partners if the relationship starts to become a pain. You should never ever get together with a man who leaves his other half for you because he will do the same to you. It does happen that relationships fall apart and a person leaves, HOWEVER, they have to leave on their own accord because they are fed up with the relationship and they would leave anyway, regardless whether you are in the picture or not. If it's just a 'grass is greener' symptom then they are likely to leave you too at some point. In exactly the same way. I'd say find a man who is single.
salparadise Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 ^^^ Yes! And even if he were to end his relationship today of his own initiative, it's going to be awhile before he equilibrates and is ready to enter another relationship. If he were to go straight from a long-term relationship to you, you'd be a rebound and that spells trouble. Rebounds almost never result in happily ever after. Just quit fixating on him and understand that he's not available, and won't be in the immediate future. If you happen to be single at some point when he is too, then maybe it will happen. 1
LoverOfDance Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 (edited) Excuse me! Just because someone has been in a relationship for so long doesn't means that they should remain in it for the sake of old times. They have problems and he will be seperated sooner or later for their own reasons. And nothing suggests that he will look for other women if he is with me. I just want him to take me seriously and I want to do something about it. I came out of a relationship few months back and feel quite serious about this one. See, I actually get where u're coming from but a lot of people won't. Expect to be eaten alive wherever you go seeking advice for your situation. If u think about it rationally(with your brain and not with your heart), u're right. All IS fair in love and war. You and his gf are both in love with him and both deserve to be with him if the feeling is reciprocal. Ppl will argue and tell u that it is not okay for u to want him because u'll hurt her feelings if u're able to get him but what about u? U love him too. No one really considers the fact that your feelings are involved as well. Whoever loses him will be the one to get hurt. But no one really cares about the other woman simply because she's not the one who saw him first. Rationally speaking, it really doesn't matter who saw him first. Rationally speaking, if two ppl are competing 4 the same thing, no one is more entitled to it than the other. Whoever wants it the most is simply who gets it. But unfortunately, this situation is more complicated than that. If u were to think with ur heart and ur conscience as well, what u're trying to do won't feel right. It just won't. And most ppl on here are thinking with their conscience. The conscience says It is wrong and u shouldn't do it because he doesn't belong to you. But he doesn't belong to her either because they're not married. I'm not on your side but I'm not on the side of the other posters either. This situation is really complicated and my suggestion will be that u leave it alone. Let it sort itself out. It's really a win win for u if u decide to let it be. U won't have to feel guilty 4 trying to "steal" another woman's bf and when u eventually move on with your life u won't care what happens. Whether she ends up marrying him or he ends coming to u one day after the relationship is over, it won't matter because u wld have moved on. U'll simply accept the situation and say to yourself, "whatever happens, happens". "whatever's meant to be, will be". Edited July 18, 2013 by LoverOfDance 1
Dread Pirate Roberts Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 If a guy really likes a girl who is his friend he will try to charm her, call her all the time, compliment her and press all the right buttons in order to be in a relationship with her, even go at length of planning the future just the way she likes it, after all he was her friend and he knows what all matters to her and then may be get into her pants and leave or do whatever he wants. He feeds her brain words, its so easy. This is how it pretty much works in case of guy to girl chase. Now for the girls if they like a guy who is her friend, 'a chase' is not recommended, complimenting is very limited, guys do not really fall for that. She don't have to come across as needy or clingy or texting/calling him all the time is not the right thing to do. So what can she do to hit his mind. I have tried 'the looks' thing and it only gets a guy interested in sex. What exactly girls need to do to get him to commit and chase. I would like to be in a relationship with a man that I chose. I dont know how to play it!! Actually, what you described male to female would sound clingy to a lot of women. You don't have to play any games. You just have to level with a guy and tell him how you feel and don't act aloof. If they play games they're not worth it (same goes for the opposite sex). I don't mind my girl calling or contacting me all the time, or wanting to be with me; so long as she doesn't get angry or jerky at me for wanting to spend time with my other friends or my family, I don't really care. I'm a very affectionate and lovey dovey man.
therhythm Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Actually, what you described male to female would sound clingy to a lot of women. You don't have to play any games. You just have to level with a guy and tell him how you feel and don't act aloof. If they play games they're not worth it (same goes for the opposite sex). I don't mind my girl calling or contacting me all the time, or wanting to be with me; so long as she doesn't get angry or jerky at me for wanting to spend time with my other friends or my family, I don't really care. I'm a very affectionate and lovey dovey man. And that is your way to see things...If a woman is calling me the whole time I probably will get tired of her... I need my own space... and that is not playing games Different people different rules
Dread Pirate Roberts Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 ^^^ Yes! And even if he were to end his relationship today of his own initiative, it's going to be awhile before he equilibrates and is ready to enter another relationship. If he were to go straight from a long-term relationship to you, you'd be a rebound and that spells trouble. Rebounds almost never result in happily ever after. Just quit fixating on him and understand that he's not available, and won't be in the immediate future. If you happen to be single at some point when he is too, then maybe it will happen. Rebounds are like bandaids/plasters. They go on for a quick fix, but soon as the cut heals the bandage goes in the trash. Nobody should be on either end of that.
Author venuss Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 See, I actually get where u're coming from but a lot of people won't. Expect to be eaten alive wherever you go seeking advice for your situation. If u think about it rationally(with your brain and not with your heart), u're right. All IS fair in love and war. You and his gf are both in love with him and both deserve to be with him if the feeling is reciprocal. Ppl will argue and tell u that it is not okay for u to want him because u'll hurt her feelings if u're able to get him but what about u? U love him too. No one really considers the fact that your feelings are involved as well. Whoever loses him will be the one to get hurt. But no one really cares about the other woman simply because she's not the one who saw him first. Rationally speaking, it really doesn't matter who saw him first. Rationally speaking, if two ppl are competing 4 the same thing, no one is more entitled to it than the other. Whoever wants it the most is simply who gets it. But unfortunately, this situation is more complicated than that. If u were to think with ur heart and ur conscience as well, what u're trying to do won't feel right. It just won't. And most ppl on here are thinking with their conscience. The conscience says It is wrong and u shouldn't do it because he doesn't belong to you. But he doesn't belong to her either because they're not married. I'm not on your side but I'm not on the side of the other posters either. This situation is really complicated and my suggestion will be that u leave it alone. Let it sort itself out. It's really a win win for u if u decide to let it be. U won't have to feel guilty 4 trying to "steal" another woman's bf and when u eventually move on with your life u won't care what happens. Whether she ends up marrying him or he ends coming to u one day after the relationship is over, it won't matter because u wld have moved on. U'll simply accept the situation and say to yourself, "whatever happens, happens". "whatever's meant to be, will be". Thank you really!! Its just that I feel, he desires me more than he loves me and I just want to do something about it. He needs to know that for me it is all emotional and a little bit physical. So was wondering if I can send any messages/signal, basically court him to have some emotions for me. That's what initiated this post. What do guys like about the potential GF the most?
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