amartinez Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 A quick background: I've been dating this girl for 4 months now. We're both in our 30's and she has a couple preteen kids who adore me. I've been introduced to her friends & some family. Things have been solid so far, but our honeymoon period just pretty much ended. Issues began: The other night she stayed out late with one of her male friends at a bar and didn't get home until 3am. Turns out she actually ended back at his place for a few minutes. She let me know in advance what her plans were, but I didn't anticipate the lateness. She hadn't seen him for some time and although he is an unattractive fellow and I don't suspect anything went down... knew him since high school, etc. I thought we'd be spending the night together, but that didn't happen. Earlier today she left her phone right next to me when she was in the shower and I had a hunch something was up, due to her facebook status updates constantly being "liked" by single guys and the fact that she was all of a sudden being so distant and cold. There were a few text messages corresponding with single male friends (one of whom she had a previous sexual relationship with), and right away a red flag went off - although these texts seemed to be platonic in nature, there was still a tone of her keeping her options open. Just tonight I offered to help her out with a household chore at her place. In a text back to me she snapped, rejecting my offer, saying how she was tired, and just needed to be alone. She went on to say how she needed to find her inner self. Of course, she was only talking about spending tonight alone and told me it has nothing to do with me and to not take it personally. But all the other stuff makes me wonder if something else is going on. It's all new patterns of behavior that I'm unfamiliar with. Any suggestions on how to handle this?
SJC2008 Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 I'm not excusing her behavior but if she's being distant, offering her help with chores ("nice guy" behavior) isn't going to help which is why she snapped. If she's not going to woman up and tell you what's going on in her head you need to pull back. She's being selfish and not considering your feelings by keeping you in limbo.
Philosoraptor Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 You can't blame her for single guys liking her status, they'll do that. But it sounds like she's getting a little cold with you. You shouldn't have been digging through her phone, but if you feel like she is keeping her options open then that's how you feel. Do you have any reasons not to trust her? If not, is it possible that your mind is connecting dots that aren't there?
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