John316C Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Bad Things /I'm not funny, I can't tell stories and I don't know or have much to say. I'm not witty. My mind is blank usually. (Probably because of the depression, which is thankfully gone). /I'm extremely shy and not confidant when it comes to interacting with people. I feel in danger and feel aggressive around people who approach me. To fix this, I smile and have a submissive posture - because If I didn't I would look really aggressive with the way I look at people and walk around. /I don't have a career, but I have a job. But no education because of depression which I'm now free of after 2 years of self-therapy. /I have a voice disorder because of depression. I lost so much energy that I couldn't even speak out strongly anymore. (This is only temporary and can be cured by getting around normal energetic people). /I can't talk to anyone, not even my parents with much life. I'm afraid to talk to strangers because of the way I sound; I just look at them blankly and go do something else. /I don't have any friends. I only have acquaintances who I've known in the past kept on Facebook. /I appear anti-social/cool. Upon closer inspection I appear as an introvert. Good Things I have an excellent sense of style. I'm in touch with my masculine sexuality. I'm extremely good looking and there are beautiful women always interested in me. I am ambitious in terms of a career. I'm extremely physically fit. I'm an extrovert. I'm a very flexible thinker, I'm a good person, excellent morals, I have standards. I have ambition to grow as a human. Some of these aspects can't be seen, because the bad overshadows the good; but it isn't really me, I'm just scared. Not of rejection, but of judgement. 1
LBlanc Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Not an expert but you sound like someone who has avoidant personality disorder. Self therapy doesn't really work. I tried. You should start seeing a therapist. Oh and... everyone always have enough in them to be a good date. That's not really a problem . Just look around at the many not so fit and not so good looking men with hot women. The problem is (i think) can you get out of your comfort zone to take that first steps towards that wild wild world of dating? (BTW I'm wrestling with that same question...haven't dealt with it yet)
GuerrillaGirl Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 I guess it's all about compatibility. You don't have to be a good date in general, as long are you're good for the person you're dating. Anyhow, it sounds like you get plenty attention from women, so you might be underestimating parts of yourself (ex: "I can't tell a story" - course you can, you just "told" one here).
lissa90 Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 I think your perceived qualities are what is holding you back/questioning yourself. It sounds like you have become fixated on them. Do you have social anxiety? If so I have that too and what has helped me a lot is see a counsellor. If that is you in your DP then you are still young. Developing your self in all aspects is a life long journey. I feel for you, I really do. You are not bad and you don't have to have "enough" of something just to date. If you consider your perceived lack of education to be holding you back - look into further education. Think about a possible career you want to embark on. Set yourself goals to try and overcome your "negative traits" Noone is better than anyone else which is an important thing to remember when you worry about being judged. In the dating world it all boils down to compatibility. And there will be plenty of women who like you just the way you are. To those who don't - f**k them. They aren't worth it.
Author John316C Posted July 18, 2013 Author Posted July 18, 2013 thanks. I don't really perceive that these things will hold me back. im worried these things hold others back from seeing that I can overcome these things, if i just had simple affection. im not needy, i dont call a million times or do anything crazy like interrogation or doing stuff for approval. im 27 ive come a long way with other things i didnt say. my thoughts mainly. ive done a complete reversal.
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