She's thinking of leaving her boyfriend of 8 years for me. Maybe.

[tourdefist]

About 4 months ago I got a new job and almost instantly developed a crush on my coworker. After about two weeks of talking to her she revealed that she has a boyfriend (who also works at the store). She seemed reluctant to talk about him. As time went on it became pretty clear that we had feelings for each other. She would light up like a pinball machine when I saw her and we would have extended eye contact starring matches. There was also lots of flirting. LOTS of flirting. She would constantly tell me that we should run away together. We eventually began writing extremely long emails back and forth on a daily basis. This went on for over a month and we got to know each other very well during the course of these emails and by talking at work. She told me that she's told me things she has never told anyone else. I did the same.

 

This eventually led to us hanging out in person, which was wonderful. Our conversations got way more personal. One evening while watching the sunset together she told me that if she hadn't met Jim (her boyfriend), that she wouldn't be sitting here with me at that moment in time, enjoying the sunset.

 

She never really mentioned her boyfriend unless she was telling me a story about something they did in the past. She would always say "we" instead of his name or instead of saying "boyfriend". It kinda seemed to me like they were on their way out. Their relationship struck me as being completely devoid of romance. While hanging out we would flirt constantly, there were several extended hugs, but we never kissed.

 

I found out that they have been together for 8 years and moved here to Seattle together from Chicago. They meet when they were 21 (she's now 29). They currently live together with another roommate.

 

One day I was driving her home while talking, all of our secrets came out. I told her how I felt about her and she told me she told me that she "REALLY liked me". She said if she broke up with him he would probably be so upset that he would have to move out of town. She admitted that she felt horrible for all the emotional cheating. I told her that she should just take her time and if she needed to talk that I would be there. The next day at work she told me that she can't email me anymore because it means that shes made a decision and she just needs time to think about it.

 

This was about two weeks ago. I told her to call me and she said "I can't". Regardless, she continues to send me brief (non-personal) emails and text messages. She called me a couple of times but we didn't talk about the situation at all. It was exhilarating talking to her and she seemed excited to talk to me. Meanwhile she's continuing to spend all of her time with him. They frequently go to concerts and movies together. She also revealed that they are going on a trip to Los Angels this December.

 

She's obviously really confused, but I'm not sure what to do. I'm super into this girl. I don't want to be with anyone else and I truly feel like fate has brought us together. Every time I see her at work she gets super excited to see me and we continue to flirt. A lot.

 

Yesterday she volunteered to stay 3 hours after she was supposed to get off work so she could help me out in the back of the store. She said the only reason she volunteered to do it was so that she could spend time with me. Right after she got off work she sent me a couple of short Facebook messages and texted me.

 

I have no idea what to do from here, I just know that I need to be with her. Any insight is welcome.

 

Thank you!

[RandomName12]

Honestly? Don't get your hopes up mate, I'm not saying she's using you or just trying to string you along but she's obviously confused and doesn't know what to do.

 

If you were both so amazingly into each other she wouldn't still be with her man, she'd be with you let alone planning holiday trips with someone else.

 

Keep a cool head and don't expect anything, in fact in the interest of self preservation I'd calm things down a bit, at the end of the day you are messing around with a taken women, how would you like it if it was 8 years down the line and she was doing this with another man behind your back?

[Lani]

Ummmm....?

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/408820-she-s-thinking-leaving-her-boyfriend-8-years-me-maybe