jenn78 Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Hi my boyfriend of a year and a bit recently broke-up. He had kept how he was feeling smothered (I also felt smothered at times to but we didn’t communicate this properly) and our relationship lacked the conversation piece because I am a quieter person. He said he felt pressured in social situations because I wouldn’t be the most outgoing person. This is something i have tried to work on before i even started dating him. We chatted a couple times since the break up but he has decided he needs to do some more soul-searching because he needs to learn more about himself. He started to see a therapist a few weeks ago and they have addressed some of the areas he needs to discover about himself. He said the majority of him wanted to “try again” but he can’t be in a relationship while looking into himself. He is working on some other issues he has within himself and needs to figure out. I’m incredibly heartbroken and discouraged by the fact we aren’t allowing ourselves the chance to try again. I do realized he needs to figure himself out before he can date anyone again… We have cut off communication... until we saw each other a couple days ago. I starting to do so well until i saw him... He called my name and we talked for about 20 minutes. We talked about what is going on in each others lives and how the other person was doing. It seems like he hasn’t been doing much except hiding from the world a bit and not going out. He said it sucks that exes can’t be friends and maybe one day we can go to the same place and both be able to stay there. I texted after we said goodbye saying I was not ready to see him and he agreed and he said he went straight home and cried a bit. We both agreed us not being together is a good thing (I said right now but i’m not sure how he feels) and we both said we miss each other and that life sucks and that us being apart is hard…etc I texted him the next morning saying I wish he had just let me keep walking pass him because i didnt see him when i was walked by…. he hasn’t texted me back. What do i do? He seemed like he was still pretty sad about everything and i think he is still working through his own issues with the counsellor.... do i ask if he is happy with his decision for us to not be together? I'm so lost.
AllTooWell Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 You don't ask anything. You guys are done and having contact, especially the kind you're doing right now, talking about that kind of thing, is just hurting each other more. Stop contacting him. You need to start the healing process.
Jasper123 Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Agree with stop contact, who cares if he's happy or not, make yourself happy 12 Healthy Ways to Survive a Break Up | Life'd
Philosoraptor Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 The best thing for you to do right now is to cut contact and take care of yourself. He ended things, no matter what the reason is, and you have to accept that. The happiness you need to worry about right now is your own.
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