lonelyyguy Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 My ex broke up with me a couple months ago and we tried being friends. At the beginning it was just too tough for both of us. We would barely talk and when we did we would get in fights about our relationship. Now a couple months later everything has kind of cooled down. She was trying to date another guy but he pretty much left her out to dry and went with another girl. I have been talkign to another girl but it just isnt the same for me. I miss my ex a lot. We were talking a little last night and I told her that i regretted a lot of our relationship. We ended up splitting because she didnt feel like I was attracted to her physically. I was in my first relationship and afraid to do anything that might mess us up. Looking back I see that I was stupid. She trusted me and I should have did more to save us. I told her that and let her know that if we did get back togethor I wouldnt hesitate to show her how much I wanted her. She thanked me and said that maybe I will get her back someday. She was open to discussing everything which mght mean she wants to try everything again. But she also seemed like she could just be trying to save me in case she cant find another guy. We are supposed to meet up on Monday for dinner...as friends. But, I want to show her that I want more. I feel like should would be happy if I made a move on her but I dont want to mess it up. I guess I want to know how everybody would handle this situation.
Philosoraptor Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Two people can't be friends if either of them want more than friendship. You're wise enough to understand that she is still looking around, but keeping you at arms length "just in case". Are you comfortable being someone's backup plan?
Author lonelyyguy Posted July 17, 2013 Author Posted July 17, 2013 I definitely don't want to be a backup plan. I know I need to start looking out for myself, but it is really hard. I still care about her a lot. So I know I should be backing away but it is tough for me. I just want to see her and tell her how I feel. But, I dont know if that is the way to do it. I think she is scared that if we get back toegthor nothing will change between us. But, the main problem was my lack of getting physical with her. I am going to grow over time. Like I said that was my first relationship. Relationship two has to be better for me. Whether it is with her or another girl. I have changed a lot over the last couple months that we have been apart. I see where I went wrong and also see that I had nothing to worry about with her. She trusted me and I should have did more. But, I just need to get her to realize that.
along60years Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 You are taking all the blame for why your relationship ended and you shouldn't be. She played a role in this too and you didn't mention any attempts on her end to tell you how she was feeling or trying to have more intimacy with you. I think you have two choices here, you can put it all on the line and tell her how you feel and what you want, or you can dance around it and either wait in NC or wait as a "friend" either way you will get the answer to whether things are going to work out or not eventually. It just depends on how much time you want to be committed to her when she is not committed to you.
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