barbossa Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 How do you feel towards your most significant ex? define significant by yourself. ( length of relationship, love) How would you react/feel when you see them? Under what circumstance would you take them back? Can you ever get to a point where you feel nothing when you look at them?
Phantom888 Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 Completely neutral. No love or hate. Just nothing. She's my kids' mom. I've known her since I was 19. Married for 12 years. Divorced for 3 years. I stopped having feelings for her when I moved out. Right now she is just an acquaintance.
hellischrome Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 My ex ex: 7 years together, broke up because a LDR is OK when the two countries involved are not Italy and Australia. Plus, I met someone else. Plus, none of us wanted to make a step in the other's direction. Feelings: I tried to manage things in a good way not to hurt him, but it didn't really work. At the end of the day, the dumpee will always be hurt. Now we are talking, I don't know if it's ok cause I dont wanna give him false hope but not having him in my life is just something I can't stand (met him when I was 18. We were perfect together). My current latest ex: Sometime I hate him. He is the first person ever who dumped me, and he couldn't even really let me go because he didn't have the guts to do it. He told me he need to find himself, and when he will find is balance maybe he will realise he wants me and will come back to me. I am really pissed for all this bsrhit, at the same time I am not over him at all, I want to text him and see him. Blah
AllTooWell Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Indifferent to all my exes except my last. Relationship was a year and both of our most serious. I did love him and in a way I still do. But I no longer want to be with him. I don't know how I would react or feel. It would really depend on the circumstances. If I saw him at the gym (we are both members but I haven't seen him there since the breakup) I would probably feel flustered. I doubt I would speak to him, I would just carry on. If I saw him at a bar, and was drunk, I would probably be annoyed that he came to my regular spot. Would continue to ignore him. I doubt he would have the courage to approach me (I give quite the cut-eye) I would not consider taking him back for a very long time. We broke up because of a 'GIGS' type thing - we are both young and both acknowledged we have things we need to do (initiated by him, but since it has happened and I have lost the rose-colored glasses, I completely agree and am thankful that he has ended things) I do not want another serious relationship for the remainder of my university schooling. If he approached me after graduation and told me he never stopped thinking about me, still loved me, etc, I would consider it, but I believe I will have moved on long before this happens (if it happens) I don't know if I'll ever look at him and feel nothing. I feel like the first time I see him and feel nothing I will be sad that I feel that way. I am currently considering seeing him on winter break (this is a long ways away, but I am still unsure of it for many reasons and not committing to anything until the actual time) but even then, I just don't see a point. I don't want him in my life as a friend. I doubt I will ever really 'see' him. We have different social circles, go to different universities, and live in different neighborhoods.
Omei Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Ex of 5 years I feel so much love it's very strong my love for them to a point where in my dreams I still hold a relationship there, oddly it makes me feel better he's just like a fiction of my imagination now my image there of them is intact and the version of him when we first met. When I wake up I feel a little love but everything bad flows back and I feel a strong anger towards them for leaving and everything else! and my feelings go away till the next dream. This is prob unhealthy but I cant help what I dream. Its no doubt because of how good looking he was. If I saw them id prob shake in my shoes and run away lol I would take him back if he ever moved out of his family's house, quit gaming, and booked a flight to see me asap full of sorry and forgiveness but I know this will never happen. He didn't love me then I don't expect him to now. I am kind of at a point where I feel for them but the thought of being with anyone and them is a burden and exhausting. My feelings are just towards the person he once was and not who he is now.
JDPT Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Break up wasn't too long ago so I clearly love her along with resentment, bitterness and anger.
Suave Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Still love her. Hate that she gave up on me and don't care who or what she's doing at the moment. She's out of my life.
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 How do I feel towards him? Nothing really, sadness that things between us didn't end up how we both had dreamed they would when we were young, but happy that we experience it anyways. Significant? Well we were married for 3 years and he was my first love. I've seen him around town. We stop and chat for a bit, act as if we are aquaintences, ask how family is, how the dog is doing. Nothing too deep, we are civil. I would never take him back. I don't believe in getting back with exs, life happened the way it was supposed to. Not o mention the complications of getting back with a man you divorced wouldn't be worth the trouble. On top of all the problems he has emotionally... I will always love him, but I couldn't never be with him again. I don't think I could ever not feel ANYTHING, you always are feeling something, it is never romantic feelings though.
seahawker64 Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 I definitely have covered the whole spectrum in regards to my ex now. Extreme anger, frustration, pain and missing her. The past few week or so, I've noticed a pop in my step again. Something I haven't had since the breakup. I am coming around quickly now. the thoughts of her in bed with someone else are becoming very far and few in between. This missing her part is probably always gonna be there but not front and center anymore. The letter I wrote ( yes, breaking no contact ) was the best thing I have done for myself. To sum it up, I think now I feel more sorry for her than anything. She is going to miss out on a nice life full of love that I would have provided for her. She would have always come first but not anymore. I don't hate her or have any harsh feelings anymore but more of a "it was what it was". I'll always be grateful we shared the things we did and the great memories we created but it came to an end. I realize now, how emotionally messed up things are for her and not me or anyone else could fix that. So in a way I'm relieved I don't have to be around that anymore and at the same time I hope she will be OK and figure it out for herself. She's a sweet Woman with a hugh heart unfortunately the other issues can and do make other things not so warm and fuzzy with her. So I just keep moving on. Feeling better everyday with little tiny moments of looking back but not much. Indifference is the key word and detachment is the key task. Once you have that. The rest is up to you. 1
denxnis Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 How do you feel towards your most significant ex? Neutral. Frequently I think about how I want her relationship/life to fail. Define significant by yourself. ( length of relationship, love) Someone you spent the majority of your time with, at least 1+ years together. How would you react/feel when you see them? Anger because she never had the courage or decency to apologize. Under what circumstance would you take them back? None. I would rather die alone. Can you ever get to a point where you feel nothing when you look at them? Years from now when I have a wife. Right now I either feel pitty or resentment.
lukekarts Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Two and a bit weeks since she dumped me. End of a 10 year relationship (we're 29 & 28). I've gone through every emotion, right now I'm not sure, but I'm angry because: 1. she said she had thoughts of splitting up with me since October, yet allowed me to move 100 miles to another city and a new job for her, just 4 weeks before dumping me. I have just 1 friend in the city. 2. she dumped me via text whilst I was away for the weekend (about 30 minutes before I raced a Porsche, which frankly my mental state at the time could have made that too dangerous. 3. I then had a 150 mile drive back home to collect my stuff. 4. She expected that I had somewhere to go despite only knowing one person in the city. (I did manage to salvage an airbed at a friends at about 10pm on the Sunday night). 5. I stood by her through all her problems - personal, work, family, whereas she selfishly abandoned me when I needed her. Despite everything, I still love her though. But what a bitch.
bluegreen Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 How do you feel towards your most significant ex? something between meeh blah and somewhat grrr define significant by yourself. ( length of relationship, love) knew each other for few years been item for 6 -7 months How would you react/feel when you see them? excellent question either would not give a crap or would give him kick in nuts Under what circumstance would you take them back? if he crawled trough a broken glass perhaps ? naaah not even then Can you ever get to a point where you feel nothing when you look at them? Am half way there been at least few months since blocked social media no calls e mails or any contact from my side at all.
Talulah Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Two and a bit weeks since she dumped me. End of a 10 year relationship (we're 29 & 28). I've gone through every emotion, right now I'm not sure, but I'm angry because: 1. she said she had thoughts of splitting up with me since October, yet allowed me to move 100 miles to another city and a new job for her, just 4 weeks before dumping me. I have just 1 friend in the city. 2. she dumped me via text whilst I was away for the weekend (about 30 minutes before I raced a Porsche, which frankly my mental state at the time could have made that too dangerous. 3. I then had a 150 mile drive back home to collect my stuff. 4. She expected that I had somewhere to go despite only knowing one person in the city. (I did manage to salvage an airbed at a friends at about 10pm on the Sunday night). 5. I stood by her through all her problems - personal, work, family, whereas she selfishly abandoned me when I needed her. Despite everything, I still love her though. But what a bitch. Oh no! I'm so sorry.....she is a bitch! cyber hugs to you:bunny:
lukekarts Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Oh no! I'm so sorry.....she is a bitch! cyber hugs to you:bunny: Thank you I forgot to mention... she made me sell my car, so we had to share her car... so I didn't even have a car when I came back that day, just hers... She allowed us to pay all the fees to apply for a new flat just a week before she split up with me (£700+). She did pay me back, but what the hell. The most pathetic thing about me right now though is I still love her and I would still take her back, and that will probably be the same in 6 months time. But it would have to be on my terms. I would find it so hard to trust her anymore. And the whole breakup screams of immaturity by her. She's a wreck, seeing a therapist, dumping via text is something I'd maybe have understood 9.5 years ago. Sure we're not experienced at long-term relationships but I still thought her values were better than that. She's not even doing it to sleep around, because she doesn't want intercourse before marriage. It's making settling into my new job really difficult. Grrr ... so ANGRY! lol
ggas Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 2.5 years together very intense. Last 7-8 months LDR. When she came back after her traveling abroad she was a very different person. She didn't have courage to break up with me so I had to initiate the breakup even though I really didn't want it to end. She was all like "I want new people, new faces, new jokes" blablabla How do I feel? Quite mixed. Disappointed is probably the best word. I wish I could feel anger but somehow I can't. Do I still love her? Probably yes although it is not a very rational love (I am however inhibiting this feeling quite well). I am upset about all the emotional manipulation that has been going on especially towards the end. 4 months after our breakup I realize that the loving person that I was with at some point is not the person she wants to be right now. That makes me lose some respect for her as a person because her current attitude makes her previous attitude towards me look deceitful. Would I take her back? No. There are things that I will not be able to put behind us so that we could have a normal relationship again. At least not now that's for sure. Whatever person I fell in love with is long gone. She is a very different person that I do not necessarily appreciate. It's the age gap I think (me 26, she's 22). But in any case, I value our memories together and I am sure my next girlfriend is going to be awesome. My ex ex Together for 3 years. Childish relationship. She cheated a bunch. She moved on basically the same day she broke up with me. I moved on quite fast too. In 5 months, I had already forgotten her name. Would I take her back? =))))))))))))))))))) that's a good one.
Kobe2345 Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 How do you feel towards your most significant ex? define significant by yourself. ( length of relationship, love) How would you react/feel when you see them? Under what circumstance would you take them back? Can you ever get to a point where you feel nothing when you look at them? How do i feel? Umm still a bit of love and bitterness almost three years together, first love. i haven't seen her yet, but if i do then i'll probably civil not sure if i would take her back, maybe if she admits her mistake and apologizes for the lying and the terrible crap she said to me then i'll think about it maybe, but i think no matter what, feelings will resurface when you see them because if they meant a lot to you, the feelings will never go away.
lessica Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 7 years, bit bitter, but indifferent most of the time. He is a train wreck.
Legatus Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 1.5 year together.. My feelings? Hmm Still dissapointed she wasn't the woman I first met, decisive, straight with people, honest, and in the way she "handled" the break up. I wouldn't take her back but I can't deny I would like her to ask, just to hear what she has to say after all this time. I will see her eventually - but it will be like our last meeting - very cold and detached from my part. I said maybe someday I will want to talk to her as a colleague but who knows!
BeautifulBlueEyes Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 How do you feel towards your most significant ex? Currently? I am feeling ambivalent. Yes, I am still in love with him but that doesn't mean he is the be-all-end all of my life. define significant by yourself. ( length of relationship, love) We were together for 6 months and it was my first relationship so...pretty significant for me. We broke up in May so I am still navigating the breakup waters. How would you react/feel when you see them? Well...there is the potential for us to run into each other a few times a work since we work in the same retail store. And I feel like I have been punched in the gut and I want to cry. *shrug* I miss him but life moves on. Under what circumstance would you take them back? *whistle* This is a hard question to answer. The desperate side of me wants to shout "any circumstances" but the wiser-jaded side of me say "a lot of wooing and groveling and proving that things wouldn't end up the same". It would take time for us both to mature before I would really considering getting back with him. We're young (Me - 25, him -23) and as perfect as we are for one another...we've both got to mature more to make a real stable relationship work. Can you ever get to a point where you feel nothing when you look at them? No. When I feel for someone, I will never be apathetic about them. Some part of me is always going to crave his touch, kisses, smell and presence but that part of me will get smaller with time (I assume!)
lissa90 Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 I feel incredibly angry and bitter. But I'm not sure if I'm angry with him or myself. Me for trusting him to such a degree that I bared my soul to him. Or angry towards him for doing the one thing that he knew would destroy me. Would I take him back? Absolutely not. I'd love for him to come crawling back only to turn him down. If I saw him again? I'd feel sick to my stomach, but since we were a LDR thankgod that won't be happening.
aloneinaz Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 almost 7 weeks since she ended out toxic relationship and I went NC. How do I feel? Still a bit shocked that I got dumped by an emotionally unstable woman that I took too much crap from. Shocked even though she'd broken up with me before. I'd always chased her and gotten her back. This time, she's heard not a word from me nor will she ever. I wouldn't take her back though who doesn't wish to hear from them again to simply ignore their contact. She has emotional issues and possibly a personality disorder and unless she stays in therapy, she's not going to change which makes her incapatiable with me or most others. I only live 2 miles from her and have already seen her on the road once but didn't look her way. If I ran into her I don't think it would be a big deal but I'd make zero attempt to converse with her. She simply wasn't a nice person the last few months we were together. Manipulative, selfish, vindictive, moody, snappy. I feel like I did a ton for her and her kids and it wasnt appreciated only expected. Right now I feel good. There no pain any longer. I'm being dating since 2-3 weeks post break up. I've been seeing someone now for two weeks who much better looking and has a much better body than the ex. This just reinforces she wasnt all that. I get satisfaction of seeing her on two different dating sites and wish her luck meeting a guy that matches up to me.
Babolat Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 How do you feel towards your most significant ex? define significant by yourself. ( length of relationship, love) How would you react/feel when you see them? Under what circumstance would you take them back? Can you ever get to a point where you feel nothing when you look at them? I miss my most current ex and think about her daily. It's been almost four months, I initiated the break up though it was mutual. We are still in contact with each other trying to figure out if we can work. We dated almost 12 months to the day. I get a very warm, loving feeling the 3-4 times i have seen her over the past 4 months. I also get anxious too, like what am I doing anxious, can this really work? ExEx was a 14 year relationship/marriage that ended 2.5 years ago. I rarely think of her, don't miss her, happy it ended. If I saw her it would be a hello, how are you, goodbye conversation.
Babolat Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 I feel incredibly angry and bitter. But I'm not sure if I'm angry with him or myself. Me for trusting him to such a degree that I bared my soul to him. Or angry towards him for doing the one thing that he knew would destroy me. Would I take him back? Absolutely not. I'd love for him to come crawling back only to turn him down. If I saw him again? I'd feel sick to my stomach, but since we were a LDR thankgod that won't be happening. Curious, what did he do? My ex shared a simialr story with me last night that surprised me, yet I am glad she shared it with me as it helps me understand her better.
mahon451 Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 My most recent ex? I still love her, miss her, and if I saw her I'd probably turn into a quivering pile of jelly. We were together for a year, and have been broken up for 6 months... I started moving on, seeing other people, have been on a huge self-discovery/improvement kick (which is only gaining more momentum), and it's awesome, but it still feels like something is "missing". In my experience, this will fade with time (it usually doesn't take this long, though), or when I find someone more "awesome" than my last ex. Bottom line- I feel fondness and sadness. My other exes? Benevolent indifference. In fact, I'm still friends with most of them.
daftpunk Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 How do you feel towards your most significant ex? I miss her more than anything else in the world. But I also I realized that my emotions are nothing but electrochemical impulses that are only happening by sheer random happenstance in the first place. That I wasn't the first man to feel how I did and I won't be the last. That nothing we do matters, and my relationship is no exception. Take solace in knowing the material universe is a cold, empty, pointless place that treats everyone with the same level of apathy. How would you react/feel when you see them? My heart drops to my feet and begins to race and I feel like I can't eat for the rest of the day. Sort of like how things were when we first met, only different at the same time. I'd much prefer to just not care anymore. Under what circumstance would you take them back? She need only ask. Note that there's a difference between dropping these "bread crumb" things and flat out asking for another chance. The latter shows the level of decisiveness and commitment that I desire. Can you ever get to a point where you feel nothing when you look at them? A monkey can be trained to do anything, I suppose.
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