Author kkk Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 OP, you started off making it sound as if it couldn't happen because of your decision, now you make it sound as if it is because of his decision. Is it one, or the other, both or neither? Frankly I am totally confused and I sure am glad that it has absolutely nothing to do with me. What about you? Do you have any serious idea what the hell is going on or is your vagueness around the subject not because you don't want to discuss it publicly but because you don't know what it is you would be discussing? You say that he is rejecting you because you are so young. I think you could interpret that as being "not yet mature enough". In other words, it's about emotional age, not chronological age, and he is maybe being circumspect in how he puts that to you. And when you say he is crying, do you mean he has tears welling up in his eyes when you discuss the subject because it is an emotional topic or is he literally bawling his eyes out? If he was completely disapassionate about the subject I would suggest that might not be the most positive indicator either. not my decision...it's his...nothing holds me back. and yeah, more like "aint mature enough" emotionally...and when it comes to age, there's actually an age gap of 5 years but it's totally okay. Totally out of the problem. What he meant is I'm not mature of having a relationship coz I never had a commitment. The reason I never had a relationship is because I'm looking for someone who is mature enough to be in a serious relationship and not with someone who just wanna play -_- If I just wanted to play, I could have said yes to my other crushes who just have the "looks" and nothing else...just for the fun of it. And about the crying, not literally. And yes, I just don't want to discuss everything else publicly. He's confusing and when I tried to tell him about the points when he confuse me coz he contradicts everything he said months ago, that's when he told me that he actually confuse himself too right now.
Author kkk Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 This is a bad idea. You are not his therapist, you are not his counsellor, you cannot fix him. But he sounds to me like the kind of person who will 'lean on you' for support, and expect you to be there to help him through his (imagined) crisis, but be reluctant to give you much in return. Be careful you don't get sucked into being his 'shoulder to cry on' and that he doesn't begin to use you for sex and as a "problem-bag". You know..."Here's my problem, I've off-loaded it onto you, you carry it for me, worry about it and suggest solutions.... I'm okay with you taking responsibility, because now I don't have to." That's known as an "Emotional vampire." You will definitely know he is one, when he tells you his problems, you give him a perfectly good, workable and feasible solution, he agrees - but then does the complete opposite, and still keeps moaning and complaining when things go wrong. I could be completely mistaken. But I hope you don't put yourself in any kind of position of finding out that I'm right..... nah, he's not talking to me. I think I'll just have to wait.
shexy Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Um, your screen name is kkk? Really? A lil offensive.
dasein Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Um, your screen name is kkk? Really? A lil offensive. Not for someone who is not from the U.S. @pcplod, yeah, on second thought, when someone tells you you are making them cry, and you haven't done anything to them, run. Male or female. run. If that's tinhat to you so be it, it's a huge timesaver for me. I'm not a neurotic mess and don't need to waste time with those who are.
TaraMaiden Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 nah, he's not talking to me. I think I'll just have to wait. For what? Until he yanks your chain and needs you for support, an ear to 'bend' and someone to sound off with? Go No Contact. it's the best gift you could ever give yourself!
Author kkk Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 For what? Until he yanks your chain and needs you for support, an ear to 'bend' and someone to sound off with? Go No Contact. it's the best gift you could ever give yourself! You mean, I'll just leave him like that, forever? (._.) 1
Author kkk Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Ok if he won't appear/contact me ill the end of the month, I'm done. Easy come, easy go.
Author kkk Posted July 25, 2013 Author Posted July 25, 2013 He just texted me yesterday...asked how I'm doing...I replied then that's it. Got no follow up...
TaraMaiden Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 You shouldn't have responded. He was just testing the waters....making sure you were still in attendance. He'll leave it a while, (providing you don't contact him) then he'll do the same again....
Author kkk Posted July 26, 2013 Author Posted July 26, 2013 You shouldn't have responded. He was just testing the waters....making sure you were still in attendance. He'll leave it a while, (providing you don't contact him) then he'll do the same again.... So what's his point? ._. this is so messed up.
TaraMaiden Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 So what's his point? ._. this is so messed up. I''m going to tell you what I tell my dog clients when I discuss their pet's canine behaviour. I'm always being asked "Why does s/he do *this*?" I always reply - and here's the clincher for you too.- It doesn't matter why s/he does what s/he does. What counts - is what YOU do. He's following a pattern so beloved of dumpers: He's keeping you on the sidelines for the appeasement of his own guilt, and for the feeding ofhis own ego. The more you voluntarily stick around and lap up his breadcrumbs, the better he feels. But 'his point' is irrelevant. What matters is - what's your point in responding and agreeing to stick on the sidelines? What do you benefit? What do YOU get out of it? If you're finding it hard to come up with an answer, then allow me to help. Straws, clutching, hopeful. Give up. He's not going to change his MO any time soon, to benefit you. So it's up to you to quit this now and nip it in the bud, or he'll keep you dangling for a long time to come.....
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