Girlfriend has G.I.G.S, I think. Now what?

[SoLow]

Girlfriend [21] and I [20] have been in a relationship for 3.5 years. Background: we met in highschool, became close friends. I fell in love with her. She didn't feel the same way. This lopsided friendship continued for a little over a year until she realized that she loved me. We've been happily together every since..

 

..until 2 weeks ago. She sits me down and tells me we need to talk. She has feeling of uncertainty about our relationship. She once had thoughts of marriage but now isn't sure anymore. She says she feels that the relationship is getting too comfortable. She tells me that she wants to be single because we're so young and haven't experienced anything else. I asked her what she expects from being single, her answers were unclear and her confusion was apparent. Her interest in seeing/hooking up with other guys seemed to be non-existent, though she could have been lying. Okay, I understand. She wants to regain her independence, wants to go out and party, all that fun stuff. Classic G.I.G.S, right?

 

Today marks the second week of NC. I won't lie and say it hasn't been hard on me. I feel rather empty. Sometimes I'll find myself sitting on the couch in front of my front window saying "I'd give anything to see her car pull up into my driveway again." I miss her so much. I wish we'd ended things on different terms, something more logical like cheating. At least that would justify this break. It would justify the possibility of us never getting back together. All i'm left with now is uncertainty. I'm in the space between optimism and depression. How long am I supposed to wait? Should I avoid feelings of optimism and treat this as an official breakup? I know all of you are going to tell me to just live my life, have fun, and focus on myself. That, however, doesn't mean anything to me. I don't enjoy doing the typical things a single person would do. I don't like to party or be "wild". I mean, drinking is fun but that seems like an unhealthy route to go. The only aspect of the single life that I find somewhat alluring is the ability to explore my sexuality in ways that I couldn't in this relationship. Her libido is low, mine is high. We're not very compatible in that sense. I've considered ending it in the past for this reason but chose not to because I felt that what we had was too important to lose over something as trivial as not fulfilling my needs to have sex seven days a week. Since we've been apart, however, my desire to have sex with anybody else has pretty much diminished. Sure, i'd probably find temporary satisfaction in having the sexual partner of my dreams eff my brains out. But it'd be only that: temporary. I can't foresee any type of casual encounter filling this void.

 

That's why I've come here. To get some insight from those who have experience. What should I do if she returns to me a week from now and says she wants to get back together? Do I believe her and take her back or do I call it quits indefinitely? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks a lot for reading.

[Chi townD]

I know all of you are going to tell me to just live my life, have fun, and focus on myself. That, however, doesn't mean anything to me. I don't enjoy doing the typical things a single person would do. I don't like to party or be "wild". I mean, drinking is fun but that seems like an unhealthy route to go.

 

 

Okay....then...what do you want me to say? What do you want me to ask? How the weather where you're at?

 

Okay, so don't do the "typical" things single people do. Don't party but have adventures.

 

Whitewater rafting in West Virginia, Deep Sea fishing in the Florida Keys, dog sledding in Minnesota, Cattle drive in Wyoming, or skydiving. If you don't want to jump out of a plane, there's facilities that have wind tunnels that simulate skydiving, find those. Fantasy baseball camp, fantasy football camp. Scuba diving in Southern California! Skiing in Colorado! Or snowboarding! Surfing in Hawaii! Those are not typical things single people do. SO, grab a friend or two and GO!!!!

 

Thing is, you're depressed. I strongly recommend that you take a trip somewhere. GET OUT OF YOUR NORMAL ROUTINE!!! And have one of those small adventures. There you are sitting at home and looking out the window being in NC for 40 days. DO you know why she hasn't checked up on you? BECAUSE SHE'S OUT HAVING FUN!!!! And you're sitting at home pining away for someone that doesn't want to be with you! Get mad! Get mad that you wasted these 40 days and start to GET BUSY!!!

[summerwoes]

Wow. I am literally going through the same thing right now up to the tiny details. The gf, personal feelings, past thoughts of breaking up, literally everything. It's exactly that though: at the edge of optimism and depression, like you're in a sort of limbo and you don't know whether to shut her out completely and move on or if there's a chance you could work it out with her. One thing that has helped me A LOT is working out. Even if you feel like ****, like its not going to help, like it doesn't matter, force yourself to go on a run, go to the gym, take a bike ride, not because it will make you feel better, but because it will unconsciously take your mind of her. I know the feeling of sitting around doing nothing. Your mind eventually wanders back to her. It might feel like the last thing you want to do right now is get out of your house but trust me, it will help tremendously. Take you're phone with you and challenge yourself to find beauty in nature and take pictures. When you get back not only will you have those natural endorphins but you will feel accomplished like yes i can do this. I can live my OWN life. If and WHEN she comes back matters just a LITTLE less. Just enough to convince yourself that its fine, that you're fine.

 

****ing GIGS..worst way to go, seriously...

[Eddie Edirol]

maybe youre in the dark about why she wanted out of your relationship, the whys arent answered. They probably never will be. She probably wont tell you the reasons she lost her attraction to you, which could make it hard to move on. The only thing you can do is look at things that triggered her to appear like she was losing interest in the relationship, things that you or her could have done. All you know is she wanted to leave you, and if I were you, I wouldnt give her the time of day, because experience has told me that if you get back together, its only because of her loneliness and sh will want to leave again. Its a good time to start talking to women that are more compatible. You dont have to date them while youre depressed, but you can talk to them to gain confidence and start to forget about your ex.

[SoLow]

maybe youre in the dark about why she wanted out of your relationship, the whys arent answered. They probably never will be. She probably wont tell you the reasons she lost her attraction to you, which could make it hard to move on. The only thing you can do is look at things that triggered her to appear like she was losing interest in the relationship, things that you or her could have done. All you know is she wanted to leave you, and if I were you, I wouldnt give her the time of day, because experience has told me that if you get back together, its only because of her loneliness and sh will want to leave again. Its a good time to start talking to women that are more compatible. You dont have to date them while youre depressed, but you can talk to them to gain confidence and start to forget about your ex.

 

That's just it. I hate being left in the dark, i hate uncertainty. I asked her if it's a loss of attraction, she assured me it wasn't. Who knows. But how can you be sure it's just loneliness? How do you know that it's not just the realization that she actually loves you, loves you more than what she thought she was missing out on?

 

 

 

Wow. I am literally going through the same thing right now up to the tiny details. The gf, personal feelings, past thoughts of breaking up, literally everything. It's exactly that though: at the edge of optimism and depression, like you're in a sort of limbo and you don't know whether to shut her out completely and move on or if there's a chance you could work it out with her. One thing that has helped me A LOT is working out. Even if you feel like ****, like its not going to help, like it doesn't matter, force yourself to go on a run, go to the gym, take a bike ride, not because it will make you feel better, but because it will unconsciously take your mind of her. I know the feeling of sitting around doing nothing. Your mind eventually wanders back to her. It might feel like the last thing you want to do right now is get out of your house but trust me, it will help tremendously. Take you're phone with you and challenge yourself to find beauty in nature and take pictures. When you get back not only will you have those natural endorphins but you will feel accomplished like yes i can do this. I can live my OWN life. If and WHEN she comes back matters just a LITTLE less. Just enough to convince yourself that its fine, that you're fine.

 

****ing GIGS..worst way to go, seriously...

 

Thanks for the reply bud. I work out everyday and it does keep me relatively busy for an hour or so which is good. I'm also quite dedicated now to finally getting into the shape i've wanted to be in for so long. It kinda kills 2 birds with one stone as well. If this relationship goes south, it's always easier to find a girl when you have a sick bod. If this relationship picks up again, she won't be able to resist my sick bod and will never leave me again (right?). Anyways, yeah. It makes you realize how dependent you actually are on the comfort of a relationship. But i wouldn't even consider myself dependent on her. I just love her company and now that it's gone, i really miss it. Ah f*** me, idk.

 

To hell with GIGS.

[AllTooWell]

I'm sorry you're going through this I know how much it sucks. Ex left me for similar reasons.

 

 

2 weeks isn't a long time. I don't want to tell you the classic "time heals all wounds" but it does, in a way.

 

I still love my exboyfriend. But I have accepted our breakup and I know now I can be happy with or without him. I am OPEN to reconciliation in the future (I do not want to right now because I believe it is true, we are very young.)

 

I hope that you can see that too. She broke up with you because she believes she has things to go and explore before settling down - and believe it or not, there's things YOU can do before settling down too!

 

I find it almost freeing now to not have to rely on anyone else and be the sole provider of my own happiness. It took a while for me to feel this way. NC definitely helps.

 

Don't be so hard on yourself, obviously you're going to miss this girl. Some days it's gonna ****ing suck. But just keep trying. Things will always get better as long as you KEEP going. Things only get worse when you give up.

 

 

Some of the above posters have had really good ideas. I am also not much of a partier but I try to go out with my friends to a bar or whatever at least twice a month, even if I don't drink. I get out there and socialize and try to meet new people. A gym is great but it is also solitary, you could try taking a fitness class as well (kickboxing or whatever you're interested in).

 

Just take it slow you are doing well

[Eddie Edirol]

That's just it. I hate being left in the dark, i hate uncertainty. I asked her if it's a loss of attraction, she assured me it wasn't. Who knows. But how can you be sure it's just loneliness? How do you know that it's not just the realization that she actually loves you, loves you more than what she thought she was missing out on?

 

 

You'll know if its lonliness, because there still wont be any reasons for going back to you, just like theres no reasons for leaving. Ive never seen a situation where a girl leaves a boy, comes back to him and says "Well I came back because I thought I could do better than you, but I couldnt, and I dont like being alone in the process, so here I am." If she said there was no loss of attraction, well...I wouldnt believe that for one minute. If she REALLY loved you, she would be so attracted to you that she would have no urge to leave. Something chipped away at her attraction for you over the 3 years, and it could be anything. Ive never had or heard a gigs case where they go back permanently, especially at 21 years old. Whatever she is looking for, you arent doing it, and she probably knows you cant, which is usually why people split. Look around the forum, its constant.

 

All I know is, every time Ive seen this case its the exact same thing. Girl wants to go date other guys, usually has one in mind, but lies about it. 3 weeks later, dumped guy says she has pictures of a new guy on her fb. Ive seen women come to this board after dumping their bf's, thinking they could do better. When their ex bf finds someone new before they do, theyre all butthurt.

 

So I would say, until she actually comes back to you wanting you back, dont believe anything she says. Dumpers lie to spare themselves.

[flitzanu]

it boils down to one simple thing.

 

"i need to find myself" = "i want to bang other people".

[Philosoraptor]

it boils down to one simple thing.

 

"i need to find myself" = "i want to bang other people".

Which is a simple way of saying "my desire to be with others is greater than my desire to stay in this relationship". Making a choice to leave and explore others rather than working on a healthy relationship is not "GIGS", it's a personal choice.

[SoLow]

I'm sorry you're going through this I know how much it sucks. Ex left me for similar reasons.

 

 

2 weeks isn't a long time. I don't want to tell you the classic "time heals all wounds" but it does, in a way.

 

I still love my exboyfriend. But I have accepted our breakup and I know now I can be happy with or without him. I am OPEN to reconciliation in the future (I do not want to right now because I believe it is true, we are very young.)

 

I hope that you can see that too. She broke up with you because she believes she has things to go and explore before settling down - and believe it or not, there's things YOU can do before settling down too!

 

I find it almost freeing now to not have to rely on anyone else and be the sole provider of my own happiness. It took a while for me to feel this way. NC definitely helps.

 

Don't be so hard on yourself, obviously you're going to miss this girl. Some days it's gonna ****ing suck. But just keep trying. Things will always get better as long as you KEEP going. Things only get worse when you give up.

 

 

Some of the above posters have had really good ideas. I am also not much of a partier but I try to go out with my friends to a bar or whatever at least twice a month, even if I don't drink. I get out there and socialize and try to meet new people. A gym is great but it is also solitary, you could try taking a fitness class as well (kickboxing or whatever you're interested in).

 

Just take it slow you are doing well

 

I appreciate your response. What I find most difficult to understand is what there actually is to "explore." What is there to do that she couldn't do while in a relationship? I let her have freedom. I always encouraged her to go out with friends. I guess it might actually boil down to what is being said below, she wants to see other guys. I don't want to believe that because I don't see her as that kind of person, but really, what else is there?

 

You'll know if its lonliness, because there still wont be any reasons for going back to you, just like theres no reasons for leaving. Ive never seen a situation where a girl leaves a boy, comes back to him and says "Well I came back because I thought I could do better than you, but I couldnt, and I dont like being alone in the process, so here I am." If she said there was no loss of attraction, well...I wouldnt believe that for one minute. If she REALLY loved you, she would be so attracted to you that she would have no urge to leave. Something chipped away at her attraction for you over the 3 years, and it could be anything. Ive never had or heard a gigs case where they go back permanently, especially at 21 years old. Whatever she is looking for, you arent doing it, and she probably knows you cant, which is usually why people split. Look around the forum, its constant.

 

All I know is, every time Ive seen this case its the exact same thing. Girl wants to go date other guys, usually has one in mind, but lies about it. 3 weeks later, dumped guy says she has pictures of a new guy on her fb. Ive seen women come to this board after dumping their bf's, thinking they could do better. When their ex bf finds someone new before they do, theyre all butthurt.

 

So I would say, until she actually comes back to you wanting you back, dont believe anything she says. Dumpers lie to spare themselves.

 

I'm fully aware that a loss of attraction is probably a factor. Happens in every relationship i'm sure. We entered a comfort zone, things got too predictable for her and she freaked out. But wtf is marriage? What is a LTR? You have to push through that. You can't just bail when things get real. Hell, i'm not gonna lie and say i'm as attracted to her as I was during the first year of our relationship, but I was, and am, willing to push through that cause I love her.

 

There was a time during the first year of our relationship where I thought I fell out of love with her. I remember telling her that I didn't feel anything for her anymore. We both sat in her car crying for an hour or two. I was confused as hell. "If I don't love her anymore, why is this so hard. Why am I crying like my entire family just died?" But I overcame that. I spent time with her and realized why I fought so hard for her in the first place. The spark came back and it was pretty smooth sailing from then on.

 

I hate thinking that this is all so she can see other guys but I suppose it could be true. She didn't seem to enjoy sex all that much to begin with, even since our relationship started so I can't imagine her having the urge to go and sleep around. Seems very uncharacteristic. But what the heck do I know

 

it boils down to one simple thing.

 

"i need to find myself" = "i want to bang other people".

 

So pretty much another form of cheating. I'm still going to give her the benefit of the doubt on this one, just cause I honestly cannot see her doing that. Especially because of how insecure she is about herself. She was semi-uncomfortable around me naked, I can't see her pursuing a situation where she'd be naked in front of a stranger. Which I still don't understand for the life of me. She's so incredibly sexy and I'm not just being bias. She was the chick in high school everybody wanted to be with and she knew it. Why are chicks so cray.

 

Which is a simple way of saying "my desire to be with others is greater than my desire to stay in this relationship". Making a choice to leave and explore others rather than working on a healthy relationship is not "GIGS", it's a personal choice.

 

It hurts to think about this. Are you saying you think GIGS is a myth?

[Chi townD]

Dude, you are totally over analyzing everything. wondering what her reasons for leaving are? Does she has GIGS? Is there someone else? Does she want to sleep with other people?.....blah...blah....

 

The point is, she doesn't want to be with you. And instead of picking yourself up and dusting yourself off; telling yourself, " You know what? HER LOSS!" you'd rather hole yourself up in your home and torture yourself with these questions!

 

And the sad part is, you don't want people telling you to move on; telling you to heal from this.

 

You're asking all of these questions. SO, let me ask you one. What's it gonna take for you to take your life back?

[SoLow]

Dude, you are totally over analyzing everything. wondering what her reasons for leaving are? Does she has GIGS? Is there someone else? Does she want to sleep with other people?.....blah...blah....

 

The point is, she doesn't want to be with you. And instead of picking yourself up and dusting yourself off; telling yourself, " You know what? HER LOSS!" you'd rather hole yourself up in your home and torture yourself with these questions!

 

And the sad part is, you don't want people telling you to move on; telling you to heal from this.

 

You're asking all of these questions. SO, let me ask you one. What's it gonna take for you to take your life back?

 

Are the feelings and questions I am having not normal after a break up? I know I'm coming off as a little b*tch but I'm sorta using this to vent and figure things out. Its hard cause there's absolutely zero closure as to why she wanted to leave. Its hard to accept "because she doesn't want you". I can't imagine after almost 4 years of a good relationship that she all the sudden simply doesn't want to be with me anymore.

 

I'm not torturing myself. I'm not entering a downward spiral of psychosis and depression or anything. I actually think I'm doing quite alright. I'm just grieving, I suppose. The answer to your question? Not sure. Time, I guess. The obvious answer to me is her. It will take her to get my life back. At least that's the way I see it now, in the state I'm in. A person I spent every day with for the past 4 years is now suddenly out of the picture. Its not easy. I want to believe that she still loves me and cares for me. Deep down I'm certain she does. Maybe not as much as either of us thought, though. It's hard to accept that. To answer your question again, I wouldn't mind going through the Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind thing right about now. Ironically, that was the last movie her and I watched together. She fell asleep halfway through and wanted to "finish watching next time". We never finished it. Ha, I'm ranting and not making any sense again, sorry.

[hippetyhop]

What does G.I.G.S. stand for? I'm not that old....

[SoLow]

What does G.I.G.S. stand for? I'm not that old....

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/251986-grass-greener-syndrome

[hippetyhop]

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/251986-grass-greener-syndrome

 

Ahhh...thanks!

[blotter]

"She says she feels that the relationship is getting too comfortable", once those words have been uttered the relationship is dead. When a young girl says that she is over it, she doesn't have those butterfly feelings anymore. Not your fault, she is young and immature, doesn't understand a long term relationship has ups and downs. Now her main mission is getting with some strange new penis.

[flitzanu]

Are the feelings and questions I am having not normal after a break up? I know I'm coming off as a little b*tch but I'm sorta using this to vent and figure things out. Its hard cause there's absolutely zero closure as to why she wanted to leave. Its hard to accept "because she doesn't want you". I can't imagine after almost 4 years of a good relationship that she all the sudden simply doesn't want to be with me anymore.

 

I'm not torturing myself. I'm not entering a downward spiral of psychosis and depression or anything. I actually think I'm doing quite alright. I'm just grieving, I suppose. The answer to your question? Not sure. Time, I guess. The obvious answer to me is her. It will take her to get my life back. At least that's the way I see it now, in the state I'm in. A person I spent every day with for the past 4 years is now suddenly out of the picture. Its not easy. I want to believe that she still loves me and cares for me. Deep down I'm certain she does. Maybe not as much as either of us thought, though. It's hard to accept that. To answer your question again, I wouldn't mind going through the Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind thing right about now. Ironically, that was the last movie her and I watched together. She fell asleep halfway through and wanted to "finish watching next time". We never finished it. Ha, I'm ranting and not making any sense again, sorry.

 

 

no no, it's all perfectly normal what you're doing, but we're here to help stop you from doing the normal things everyone does, and do what you SHOULD do to get outta the funk. all the questions in the world will drag you down, when as chi pointed out, it simply boils down to her walking away.

[hippetyhop]

I'm sorry you are going through this. Any breakup isn't a fun one. However, the first few words described it all. Your age. I can't say I don't blame her. If you were her first real boyfriend and it's been that long, she may want to see others. I know you are in love with her (I've been there), but time for you to expand your horizons as well.

[CptSaveAho]

Which is a simple way of saying "my desire to be with others is greater than my desire to stay in this relationship". Making a choice to leave and explore others rather than working on a healthy relationship is not "GIGS", it's a personal choice.

 

WHAT? thats the definition of GIGS

 

Do we have to start the GIGS war again and I beat it in your silly head

 

Contrary to your warped view that "relationships = all" People want to go out and explore life, date other people, travel the world, get a new career...

 

you might want to check out the "mirror" sometime and look at your situation where you jump 2 feet first into relationships and even engagements.. this one was mighty QUICK

[daftpunk]

Ehh... I've noticed this "GIGS" thing is getting thrown around pretty carelessly here.

 

Of course, if it gives you comfort, then by all means cling to it. Grab hold and don't let go until it bleeds. Your situation will not have changed either way.

 

She will return if the cookie crumbles in your favor. If she doesn't, then things would have fallen apart later anyway. Probably after you got married. And half your stuff was up for grabs.

[Philosoraptor]

WHAT? thats the definition of GIGS

 

Do we have to start the GIGS war again and I beat it in your silly head

 

Contrary to your warped view that "relationships = all" People want to go out and explore life, date other people, travel the world, get a new career...

you might want to check

out the "mirror" sometime and look at your situation where you jump 2 feet first into relationships and even engagements.. this one was mighty QUICK

Missed you willy Don't see many posts on your "main" account since I left, but I hope all is going well.

 

People certainly do have the right to make any choices they want, and all you can do is wish them the best. But in the end it's always a choice of free will. "GIGS" is no different than any other breakup, but as daftpunk points out, so many grasp on the term as a way to hold onto hope and find a reason. The reason though is that they wanted something or someone more than they wanted to stick it out in a relationship with you.

 

Still so much hostility.

 

WTF!?!? Oh... I see, you are one of those.

 

In your mind, the ONLY reason and SOLE purpose of dating / relationships is ALWAYS with desire / plan / goal / end in mind... MARRIAGE!

Nah, I had a lot of fun dating and was going on 3 or more dates a week. Met a lot of good people and made some good friends with some of the ladies.

 

But this thread is not about me, it's about the OP. He asks questions regarding "How long am I supposed to wait?" and "Should I avoid feelings of optimism and treat this as an official breakup?" as he has labeled this as "Classic G.I.G.S, right?". My comment was pointing out that no matter what you label it, it's someone leaving you as they've decided something or someone outside of the relationship is more important than keeping a healthy relationship with you. It's no different a personal choice than to cheat or move across the country for work; but too many find false hope in labeling things "G.I.G.S" versus calling a spade a spade.

[Eddie Edirol]

I'm fully aware that a loss of attraction is probably a factor. Happens in every relationship i'm sure. We entered a comfort zone, things got too predictable for her and she freaked out. But wtf is marriage? What is a LTR? You have to push through that. You can't just bail when things get real. Hell, i'm not gonna lie and say i'm as attracted to her as I was during the first year of our relationship, but I was, and am, willing to push through that cause I love her.

 

I hate thinking that this is all so she can see other guys but I suppose it could be true. She didn't seem to enjoy sex all that much to begin with, even since our relationship started so I can't imagine her having the urge to go and sleep around. Seems very uncharacteristic. But what the heck do I know

I'm still going to give her the benefit of the doubt on this one, just cause I honestly cannot see her doing that. Especially because of how insecure she is about herself. She was semi-uncomfortable around me naked, I can't see her pursuing a situation where she'd be naked in front of a stranger. Which I still don't understand for the life of me. She's so incredibly sexy and I'm not just being bias. She was the chick in high school everybody wanted to be with and she knew it. Why are chicks so cray.

 

She didnt have to enjoy sex with you, but she can learn to enjoy it with new guys once she gets those butterflies she craves. A few guys could be learning periods. Many women were sexually shy and eventually learn to open up. Just because you know her to be one way doesnt mean she will or wants to stay that way. Thats what being young and living by your emotions is about, the next butterflies fix. She will probably run through a few guys in the next ten years until she realizes the butterflies is only during the honeymoon period.

 

Are the feelings and questions I am having not normal after a break up? I know I'm coming off as a little b*tch but I'm sorta using this to vent and figure things out. Its hard cause there's absolutely zero closure as to why she wanted to leave. Its hard to accept "because she doesn't want you". I can't imagine after almost 4 years of a good relationship that she all the sudden simply doesn't want to be with me anymore.

.

 

It wasnt all of a sudden, she most likely felt the urge to break up for a while but wasnt sure for months. Most people dont change their mind overnight, they just go through the motions while thinking about breaking up. And dont wait for her to give you closure, it will never happen. The closure has to come from you. You have to decide to work on not thinking about her.

[SoLow]

Wow thanks for all the responses everyone. It'd take a while for me to reply by quoting each of these cause I'm on my phone so I'll leave a general response.

 

I'm now understanding that GIGS is kind of a cop-out term. She left for the same reasons that most relationships end, whether it be cheating or anything else. I'm treating this right now as a breakup. Trying to move on. I have hopes of reconciliation but I won't let that interfere with me trying to get passed this. I know that if were to get back together, this might happen again but I guess I'll have to make that judgement when the time comes.

 

All that being said; since she never officially broke up with me and this is still actually a "break" , would it be a bad move for me to bake brief contact? A text asking how she is and that I've been thinking about her/missing her? What if that is something that she's waiting for. What if the reason she thought our relationship was getting too comfortable was due partially to my lack of affection? Maybe me reaching out to show that I care about her is what she's after? What do you guys think?

[travelonic]

I'm now understanding that GIGS is kind of a cop-out term...

No. It's a term meant to attempt to discribe, or categorize a specific set of behaviors, a specific, nuanced set of actions/behavioral patterns... nothing more, nothing less.