richard9 Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 Hey all, its been 9 months or so since my ex left me to go party with a new set of friends she made. I logged into my old facebook to get contact details of a friend and there was a message from her, I didnt click to read it but the first few lines were asking for my number. What if she is reaching out to me? What if she needs help or has realised that she made a mistake? Dont people deserve another chance? Ive been dreaming about her, we kiss and it felt so good to have her in my arms again. She was so special to me, I loved her more than anything and I feel as though I havent lived a day since she parted. Summer makes it worse. I have the gym, but I am alone without friends. In my head I do not want her back, I know she would probably start using me again. And ive got into university in september and im moving forward. I just need to get through this summer. But im torn, I want to know what she wants, but I know as soon as I read that message I enter into her world of game playing and wants. She hurt me so bad, but everyone majes mistakes dont they? I have been doing well recently but this has set me back a bit. She was amazing I feel I will never find someone who I click with like I did her, or as beauti***. I do not want to go back to her, she was my first and me hers, if she hss been with someone else, which I know she will have been, we will have lost that. She chose to leave me and I would have her back if I am honest with myself. But I just cant do it, I have been through too much hurt, she threw me away like I meant nothing. Any thoughts please?
Leegh Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 It sounds as if she is in your thoughts a lot. I am not suggesting that you and she get back together, but could it help "clear the air" if you and she met for lunch, or something casual? Sometimes seeing a person again, without getting back together, can in a way give some type of closure, so both people can move forward. 1
Philosoraptor Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 Delete that facebook account and cut her ability to contact you, and your ability to come across that message later. Some people do deserve a second chance, but that becomes a judgement call based on their intentions. She used you before then dropped you, and there is no mistake about that. I'd stay the path your on now and keep working on yourself. Delete that facebook account and continue to heal and grow.
Author richard9 Posted July 16, 2013 Author Posted July 16, 2013 Thanks leegh but I couldnt see her again, I dread it. It would still hurt and I know she would use my feelings for her for her own purposes. I know this. And I must focus on university and trying to do something with my life, not only for me but my parents who have watched me lose myself to her and struggle through this. Even if I got back with her I know I would be heartbroken again at some point in the future. Unless she has gone through some amazing change in the last 9 months. But thanks. Delete that facebook account and cut her ability to contact you, and your ability to come across that message later. Some people do deserve a second chance, but that becomes a judgement call based on their intentions. She used you before then dropped you, and there is no mistake about that. I'd stay the path your on now and keep working on yourself. Delete that facebook account and continue to heal and grow. I agree. Thankyou, I needed to hear this, I know I can get through this. I am so scared of losing something special. But it wasnt special to her at the time. I think I need to accept that it is lost and cant take me anywhere but back in my personal development. Its just hard to think of what we had, and dismiss thoughts that it could be the same again. I know in my heart of hearts it couldnt, and further I wouldnt want it to be, I was so lost in her.
Frank13 Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Have a friend read the message. Tell this friend they are only allowed to tell you what it says if it is overwhelmingly positive. If it isn't, they aren't allowed to say a single thing about it. This way, if she wants you back you won't have missed the opportunity. However, if she doesn't, you won't be set back as bad. You will be a little set back and will wonder, but it won't be as bad as if you read that she wants your number to tell you about her new boyfriend, or because she ran into a mutual aquaintence who asked for your number to call you. It is better to wonder (once you know it isn't positive) then to find out it was so totally insignificant, which would bruise your ego and set you back.
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