GuerrillaGirl Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 Hey everyone. I'm a 21 year old girl and I'm as inexperienced as it gets. It's been 5-6 years since my first and last make-out session. I don't know how it got this way, why I never got back to it. Maybe it was being self-conscious and socially anxious. I've liked guys and guys have liked me, but this kind of frustration kept me from being flirtation since I was 16-17 and I already felt odd. Somehow, it feels like you have those years to deal with boy problems, but I never did. Now I find myself in a funny situation every time any opportunity shows. For example, the last time I went out, there was a guy hitting on me. I would have very much liked him to kiss me, but I was afraid. I mean, should I just let the guy know "hey, I might be a little clumsy because my last make-out session was way back when and I can't even remember it"? I mean, that would freak the dude out, right? It makes him think that maybe there's something pathologically wrong with a girl who couldn't get a second guy to kiss her. So is lacking experience a problem? To me, it kind of is, as it keeps me from actually getting any experience to begin with. It's a vicious cycle. Thanks
Philosoraptor Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 No, lack of experience is no issue at all. Lack of confidence seems to be your issue. Stop thinking and just do what feels right and comes natural. Trust yourself and learn to laugh at yourself when things don't go as planned. If you can laugh at it and not get embarassed, you will be able to let it go and keep doing what you were doing. 1
Philosoraptor Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 girls are not expected to be confident. guys are. Everyone should be confident, but no one is expected to be.
Author GuerrillaGirl Posted July 16, 2013 Author Posted July 16, 2013 @jarse: I think everyone should suffer equally. Guys should be allowed to be just as inexperienced. But, sadly, I know you are kind of right. People do expect every male to be the alpha male. There can't be that many alphas! @Philosoraptor: You are right, I do lack confidence. I try the positive thinking bit but it doesn't always work. Besides, I've had a guy (that I really liked) say (behind my back) "What I am supposed to do with her if she's a virgin?". Like I was disabled.
kassy Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 Next time a guy is hitting on you in a bar, just relax have fun with it and I'd go as far as to say just go for the snog. I mean he's not going to complain. And you'll enjoy it (only do this if you are attracted to the guy). It sounds like you have opportunities but are just too scared and stand off-ish. I'm sure after the first time you'll get over it. Don't mention it, unless you are dating the guy and have already made out. If you are unsure of how good you are you can say something jokey like... Well since I don't have much experience in making out, I think we should make up for lost time. You will be fine, don't get all in your head, it won't be a big deal, just go out and snog someone and have fun
Lansing Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 I was an incredibly late bloomer. I kind of regret not having had more experiences as a teenage sometimes but after talking to some friends about their "high school" experiences some said I am better off. I would try just to enjoy things for what they are. Getting to know a guy, etc. You should try not to second guess yourself so much as just let yourself be led by a guy. I wouldn't pre-empt any kiss/etc with a "hey, I am rusty" talk because yes, that could be weird. I dated this girl was was 21 when I was 29 for a bit. I felt like she lacked experience because she came across as really aggressive at sometimes and really passive at others. I felt like she was just trying to get some experience by being with me. It kind of weirded me out. If she had just acted/been normal there would have been some potential but I instead things just fizzled out.
Author GuerrillaGirl Posted July 16, 2013 Author Posted July 16, 2013 @kassy: Well, the opportunities aren't that many. I come off as mean when I try to play cool. I'm just not good with guys and also, I am not one of those gorgeous girls every guy wants. The "last friday " guy never called back (even though he insisted I'd give him my number) and I don't know if it's because he's an ass or because I seemed cold and distant. @Lansing:I know it's ok to be a late bloomer, but it's just not the feedback I'm getting from the people I meet.
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