She's just gone.

[HeartBroken1988]

Hey everyone, I thought I'd just share my story and it would help me maybe cope with my pain.

 

In short, I'm 25 and I've just got out from my first serious relationship with that girl (22) after more than 2 years together.

 

I'll admit to prior meeting her, I've never had so much experiences with girls. I think that I'm actually a pretty good looking guy but I've always been afraid to go so intimate with someone and I'm also terribly shy.

I've never been diagnozed but I think I suffer of some sort of ocd (intrusive thoughts) which also made it really harder when some sort of thoughts just pop out on your mind and start make you feel anxious.. so I know that's a problem that I should solve on my own.

 

anyway, when I first met her, I didn't really fell in love with her right away. I mean she was cute but I thought that it would finish like any other girl I met before, we meet maybe one time and that's it. although I really wanted to feel what's love.

She on the other hand really felt for me the minute she saw me. she's the one who gave me her number and insisted whe should meet up again.

we met again and it just became stronger.

I began to have feelings for here, we officially dated, we kissed (she kissed, I was shy and didn't know what to do) and from there she became my girlfriend, best friend, my rock, the person I trusted the most.

 

Of course we had our ups and down, she's kinda the opposite of me, she was always full of life, smiling and I was always telling her that wherever she goes light shines. she made me shine too, I felt good.

I on the other suffers from mood, sometimes I can really feel great about myself but sometimes I really have some low self esteem and feel down.

My problems obviously were reflected in our relationship. although we were both students who were always busy studying, I didn't did enough things with her. most of our activities together were her ideas and I was following.. She was a hell of a dominant person but I didn't did too much to even it a little.. I even felt sometimes that I liked it that way eventhough I realize now that it was wrong.

 

We did had a really strong relationship, I loved her with all my heart and would done everything for her, and I felt that same way about her.

but in the end, even If I thought that she was the one and the girl I wanted to live with the rest of my life, it just ended. and in an ugly way.

 

I had alot of red signs all over my relationship but I ignored them because I was blind by my love for her and I really trusted her.

 

At the end of our relationship we had some serious problems in comunication and I didn't realize that.

we didn't had any meeningful talking and I was ok with that, I mean we were all busy and I knew that when this period would be done, we would eventually catch up and try to fix things.

 

But I was wrong, she told me out of the blue just before we broke up, that she lied to me one week before about meeting up a girlfriend and in fact it was a guy and they got closer together.

I was devastated, sad, angry I couldn't even get answers from her as she was telling me that she didn't know why she did that and now she didn't even knows how she feels about me.

I intiated immediately a break, I was hurt and I thought it was best for both of us to rethink about all this.

these 2 weeks of break have been hell for me, I tried to contact her, trying to have some answers but it just got worse. she was cold, told me just how unhappy she was, stating all my problems and flaws and how the cheating was in fact just an "eye opening" for her.

I couldn't believe that was the same girl I was deeply in love with.

 

Even when she saw how shocked I was about her being unfateful, she told me with no emotion "don't look like you're surprised it ended that way, you knew I had something special with this guy". - yeah sure I knew that he was like flirting with her about a year but I trusted her when she told long ago that she told him that's she's not interested and has a boyfriend. how can someone be so cold?

 

anyway, I wrote her a letter telling her that I do approve alot of things she told about me, my issues and stuff.

However, I couldn't understand how she blame it all on me when she's the one who was actually unfaithful. how hurt I've been especially when she showed no regrets emotions.

How she had the heart to tell me to come over for the week-end (we weren't living together) if she knew how it would have ended.

 

I told her that my heart really wants to be with her and cherish her but my mind tells me to run away.

That I trully believed that our relation was a gift from god and if it's in his plan our pathes shall cross again.

 

I finished saying that I love her and my love for her was always real.

 

Anyway now I feel a bit stupid knowing from her roomate that my ex just moved on these 2 weeks with this guy and acted normal, not even a little sad.

 

So that's it, she just disappeard from my life sudenly, cruely without any proper explanations.

I know now that I will never have any closure and I'm trying to live that.

 

I initiated no contact, and it's been over a month now. last time I spoke to her was just to make sure she told me everything she wanted to say because I wouldn't talk to her anytime soon.. funny thing she was surprised, she actually thought we would still be in touch.. yeah sure!

 

thank you for reading, sorry for the long post, it feels good so spit it out of my chest.

 

good day!

[Philosoraptor]

Nothing was out of the blue, she was looking and met someone she liked.

 

She's moved on and you need to work on doing the same. Find new hobbies, keep busy, and keep making progress. Sounds like you're doing well thus far with keeping out of contact, now start taking care of yourself and fostering your own interests.

[Chi townD]

The fact is, she cheated. She shows NO remorse for her action and even acts like you DESERVED to be cheated on! You don't need someone like that in your life. Sooner or later she's going to open her eyes and realize that it was a douchey thing to do to you and she'll try to reach out. IGNORE HER!

 

She isn't worth your time or effort. Remember, she threw you under the bus for this other dude. She valued this guy more than you; therefore, she has no reason to contact you. Remember that.

[HeartBroken1988]

The fact is, she cheated. She shows NO remorse for her action and even acts like you DESERVED to be cheated on! You don't need someone like that in your life. Sooner or later she's going to open her eyes and realize that it was a douchey thing to do to you and she'll try to reach out. IGNORE HER!

 

She isn't worth your time or effort. Remember, she threw you under the bus for this other dude. She valued this guy more than you; therefore, she has no reason to contact you. Remember that.

 

I know, that's what I'm trying to persuade myself. I know that I've not been the best boyfriend but no one deserve to be treated that way after such a meaningful relationship.

 

The thing that hurts me is that I'm not even sure she will realize, and even if she will, I'm pretty sure she won't even try to reach me as she too proud.

I also know that her family is 100 percent behind her decision, and I suspect they even may have encouraged her to break things off as I'm not really sure they liked me..

anyway I shouldn't even care but it does hurt, I still can't take my mind off her

[Chi townD]

I know, that's what I'm trying to persuade myself. I know that I've not been the best boyfriend but no one deserve to be treated that way after such a meaningful relationship.

 

The thing that hurts me is that I'm not even sure she will realize, and even if she will, I'm pretty sure she won't even try to reach me as she too proud.

I also know that her family is 100 percent behind her decision, and I suspect they even may have encouraged her to break things off as I'm not really sure they liked me..

anyway I shouldn't even care but it does hurt, I still can't take my mind off her

thought

 

Then, even though you can't see it now, that's the best thing. It will make your healing process move along smoothly.

 

Time to heal and move on.

[HeartBroken1988]

the pain is unbearable.. I can't think of something else. I wish it would had ended differently.

How to cope with the pain when someone who you loved so much suddenly goes away so cruelly with no emotions, no regrets, no nothing? these 2 years where I was by her side meant nothing? I feel hopeless

[daftpunk]

I wish it would had ended differently.

How to cope with the pain when someone who you loved so much suddenly goes away so cruelly with no emotions, no regrets, no nothing? these 2 years where I was by her side meant nothing? I feel hopeless

 

Most of us wish things would have ended differently--or not at all--in our respective relationships. Unfortunately there's not much to add beyond that, but perhaps you can take comfort in knowing that you're not alone in how you feel. Indeed, even our ancestors and our ancestors' ancestors no doubt dealt with this sort of thing as well, and the human race will continue to brutalize itself physically and emotionally long after we've turned to dust.

 

People are walking amalgamations of secrets and mistakes; perhaps she will realize her transgression and throw herself before you and beg for forgiveness. Perhaps she won't.

 

Don't trust hope, and don't trust people. But you can think fondly of one or both, once in awhile =)

Edited July 18, 2013 by daftpunk

[HeartBroken1988]

Most of us wish things would have ended differently--or not at all--in our respective relationships. Unfortunately there's not much to add beyond that, but perhaps you can take comfort in knowing that you're not alone in how you feel. Indeed, even our ancestors and our ancestors' ancestors no doubt dealt with this sort of thing as well, and the human race will continue to brutalize itself physically and emotionally long after we've turned to dust.

 

People are walking amalgamations of secrets and mistakes; perhaps she will realize her transgression and throw herself before you and beg for forgiveness. Perhaps she won't.

 

Don't trust hope, and don't trust people. But you can think fondly of one or both, once and awhile =)

 

thank you for the kind words.. I wish I could lose hope that she will realize some day.. I'm trying to move on, getting busy, I'm studying 3D animation but whenever I'm trying to work on my computer all these feelings suddenly submerge me.. I'm wondering in forums with similar story, I feel better in the moment but after a while just worse.. that's also hard for me because she was the one who really pushed me to study this and was there for me and whenever I'm trying to work I think about her.

[daftpunk]

thank you for the kind words.. I wish I could lose hope that she will realize some day.. I'm trying to move on, getting busy, I'm studying 3D animation but whenever I'm trying to work on my computer all these feelings suddenly submerge me.. I'm wondering in forums with similar story, I feel better in the moment but after a while just worse.. that's also hard for me because she was the one who really pushed me to study this and was there for me and whenever I'm trying to work I think about her.

 

If you look at the various stories on this forum, you will invariably notice that most have some striking similarities to your own predicament. That's because we are not as unique as we'd like to think we are. Humans are machines, built from the same cogs and bolts as all the rest, thinly veiled in cloth cut from the same bolt.

 

You are not alone. The desolation you feel will subside, in time. I will not lie to you, however; you will not emerge from this unscathed. Your heart will be forever darkened and jaded by this to some degree. Even if she comes back, things will not be the same. But who's to say things can't be better than before?

 

Fate is whimsical.

Edited July 18, 2013 by daftpunk