Jump to content

Is it always the case that "they wont leave you if they love you"

lessica

By lessica
in Breaks and Breaking Up

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

JDPT Established Member

JDPT

Posted
Posted
I loved my ex, but hated the way he treated me. My ex loved me, but didn't know how to have a relationship.

 

Love is NOT enough to keep people together. It took me way too long to figure this out.

 

I used to live in fantasy land and thought "as long as two people are deeply in love with each other everything will magically fall into place" oh boy was I so wrong. Throughout past relationships, specially this very last one I realized that it takes WAY more than just love. Amongst the many imperative factors necessary for a relationship to thrive I've learned from my past relationship that communication is KEY and I've learned the hard way. Live and learn.

  • Like 3
iris219 Established Member

iris219

Posted
Posted
I used to live in fantasy land and thought "as long as two people are deeply in love with each other everything will magically fall into place" oh boy was I so wrong. Throughout past relationships, specially this very last one I realized that it takes WAY more than just love. Amongst the many imperative factors necessary for a relationship to thrive I've learned from my past relationship that communication is KEY and I've learned the hard way. Live and learn.

 

Me too! The above is well-stated. That was 100% me and that belief caused me a lot of pain over the years.

 

It was, honestly, one of my biggest relationship mistakes. My relationship now is so much stronger because I understand how important elements other than love are.

  • Like 1
JDPT Established Member

JDPT

Posted
Posted
Me too! The above is well-stated. That was 100% me and that belief caused me a lot of pain over the years.

 

It was, honestly, one of my biggest relationship mistakes. My relationship now is so much stronger because I understand how important elements other than love are.

 

Now that I think about it I guess there is something good that came out of her dumping me. I've learned that all these elements must never be neglected. In my case I failed to communicate at all. I completely shut down and decided to live by myself while being in a relationship, if that makes any sense. I intend for my future relationship whenever that occurs to be more vigilant and address every single point required for my relationship to take off.

  • Like 1
travelonic Established Member

travelonic

Posted
Posted
I think it's more appropriate to think if they loved you ENOUGH they wouldn't have left you.

 

Even then it's flawed, and it stems down to:

 

 

If they wanted to be with you, they would be with you.

 

 

THAT is much more appropriate I think.

 

Simple, unassuming,doesn't attempt to put an absolute quantifier on it, or put it in such a way where people aren't fooled into believing specific scenarios that fall out of specific cases aren't possible [like, for example, it doesn't leave people thinking that a couple can't break up, or that after a breakup they can't get together - regardless of how rare it may/may not be, it does happen] - I like it.

Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

Posted
Posted

I've loved someone to my ultimate capacity, as far as I know, and I still had to leave him. It was a toxic situation.

  • Like 1
happydate Established Member

happydate

Posted
Posted (edited)

What is love and how does it feel like?

Edited by happydate
  • Author
lessica Established Member

lessica

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I hope my ex doesn't come on here and get that kind of advice. I love her very much but I am not about to stick around in an abusive relationship. She has major trust issues and no matter how good of a time we are having she will find a way to mess things up suggesting I should flirt with a girl or that I am seeing another girl. I deny but it does nothing for her. Then I end up leaving and ignoring her but it is too frustrating and her concern turns to anger. The more this stuff happens the more it pushes me away. I need breathing room. It puts me on edge. Is it really worth it to love and stay with someone who is always going to treat me this way. Then by me staying away it makes it worse for her. Less sex, less dates and all the other things that would indicate to someone that you love them.

 

 

I can imagine her coming on here and telling you guys how how all this and getting reassurance that if a guy loved you he would pursue you, want to sleep with you all the time and blah blah blah. Then you would tell her don't contact him whatever you do.

 

In the meantime she is probably crying her eyes out because she thinks the love was one sided and doesn't even know why I am not contacting her. What she should be doing is getting to the root of the problem with her insecurity and stop trying to blame me for something I didn't do. If she could do that I would take her back in a sec. But she won't because she thinks I never loved her if I can leave her so easily.

 

EXACTLY perfect example, people need to UNDERSTAND rather than make huge assumptions. You would take her back if she was rational. says it all.

  • Author
lessica Established Member

lessica

Posted
  • Author
Posted
IMO the ""they wont leave you if they love you" line a fallacy based on presumption and little supporting reasoning.

 

 

I agree, it is fallacious. Takes nothing for it to become 'argumentum ad populum' in these forums.

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...