jerryh Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 This is not a thread to get anyone's hopes up including my own, but just after seeing all the heartbroken stories on here, I thought it would be nice to see some reconciliation stories. 1. Why did you and your partner break up? Were you the dumpee or the dumper? 2. Did your ex tell you they didn't love you anymore and that they moved on? 3. Were either of you dating someone else during this period? 4. Was there NC? Who initiated it NC? 5. How long until you reconciled? 6. Did it last?
AllTooWell Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 Most people who reconcile don't stay here because they no longer need the support With that being said Getting back together really does happen! ^ about 100 pages of reconciliation stories. I've read it before and I'm going to answer your questions with what I've read in that thread in mind (I haven't reconciled) 1. Why did you and your partner break up? Were you the dumpee or the dumper? - Most of the people on that forum were the dumpee. Those that posted stories about people they knew didn't always state who was the dumper/dumpee. When it's years later, it usually doesn't matter so much who ended things. The reasons vary a lot. 2. Did your ex tell you they didn't love you anymore and that they moved on? There are also people who were told by the dumper stuff like I don't love you anymore, we will never be together, I hate you, etc. 3. Were either of you dating someone else during this period? There are people who dated others during the time. 4. Was there NC? Who initiated it NC? MOST of te reconciliation stories feature A LONG PERIOD OF NC. It doesn't say who started it most of the time but most of the successful stories have at least a year of NC. 5. How long until you reconciled? Most of the successful ones cite over a year. 6. Did it last? The ones that did seem to be the ones with the longer periods of NC. 1
travelonic Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 Most people who reconcile don't stay here because they no longer need the support Which contributes to the idiotic fallacy of "it **NEVER** happens" that a couple of people around here seem to hold, from other threads on the matter I've read. [The thread you linked to, BTW, is great - each story, though having common trends and patterns have lots of nuances providing for a good read. ] 1
thompkevin Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 I know a lot of such stories and everyone is different. But in most cases, there was no contact. People get back together when the dumpee initiates no-contact. If you had been needy after the breakup, then no contact works great. When they realize you can live without them and you are happy with or without them in your life, they eventually want to give it another try.
Author jerryh Posted July 16, 2013 Author Posted July 16, 2013 thanks everyone for your responses so far. There must be more even ones of friends, family members, keep them coming!
Author jerryh Posted July 16, 2013 Author Posted July 16, 2013 I have one about a good friend of mine so ill answer for him, 1. Why did you and your partner break up? Were you the dumpee or the dumper? He dumped her after a year and a half together, wanted to live the single life and play the field. 2. Did your ex tell you they didn't love you anymore and that they moved on? I dont know about this question, perhaps though. 3. Were either of you dating someone else during this period? No they both didnt date anyone but had their fun. 4. Was there NC? Who initiated it NC? Yes immediately, on both sides. 5. How long until you reconciled? 8 months 6. Did it last? And yes they are still together, over a year on now.
Author jerryh Posted July 17, 2013 Author Posted July 17, 2013 was just chatting to my cousin, here is another one! This is not a thread to get anyone's hopes up including my own, but just after seeing all the heartbroken stories on here, I thought it would be nice to see some reconciliation stories. 1. Why did you and your partner break up? Were you the dumpee or the dumper? She dumped him, wanted to be single and enjoy her youth. 2. Did your ex tell you they didn't love you anymore and that they moved on? Yes she was very confused but told him she didnt love him as she believed she didnt. 3. Were either of you dating someone else during this period? no both were single. 4. Was there NC? Who initiated it NC? She did and she wanted to spare his feelings, didnt want to lead him on and let him move on. 5. How long until you reconciled? 6 months 6. Did it last? realised she loved him, still together now. I believe she got GIGS
na49 Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 1. Why did you and your partner break up? Were you the dumpee or the dumper? Girlfriend was feeling stressed because of our first semester in college. New faces, new experiences. Maybe what some would call GIGS. I was the dumpee. 2. Did your ex tell you they didn't love you anymore and that they moved on? I got the "I don't love you" bit. but never told that she moved on. More because I didn't chase her much afterwards. Not because I didn't love her, but I knew it was a losing battle. 3. Were either of you dating someone else during this period? No 4. Was there NC? Who initiated it NC? I went NC on her. She was messaging me throughout, but I ignored until I got "the message" I also blocked her off the face of the earth to try to heal. 5. How long until you reconciled? 6 months 6. Did it last? We've been back together for 3 months now and things have been great.
hotpotato Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Which contributes to the idiotic fallacy of "it **NEVER** happens" that a couple of people around here seem to hold, from other threads on the matter I've read. [The thread you linked to, BTW, is great - each story, though having common trends and patterns have lots of nuances providing for a good read. ] Thats because THEIR exes never came back. Reconciliations happen pretty often even in people who really shouldnt get back together.
AllTooWell Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 Thats because THEIR exes never came back. Reconciliations happen pretty often even in people who really shouldnt get back together. That's the thing. Reconciliations happen all the time. But there's a big difference in getting back together, and staying together.
hotpotato Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 That's the thing. Reconciliations happen all the time. But there's a big difference in getting back together, and staying together. True. From what ive seen they are often successful.
travelonic Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 That's the thing. Reconciliations happen all the time. But there's a big difference in getting back together, and staying together. True. You now, with all the speculation that goes on in general, on both sides, about breakups, the age groups where it is most common, and more specifically, reconciliation, getting back together, and how often it happens or not [as well as how often it is successful or not], it'd be cool if we could actually get some hard, solid statistics - strictly from a scientific/research angle, and the fact that we seem to be lacking statistics that can help the understanding of these phenomena.
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