Azugobbler Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 This is my very first post here. Turned here cus I know I need help. I lost the love of my life a week ago. I gave up so much of me for her. A week ago, my family found out my mom had cancer and I became more emotionally dependent on my girlfriend. All of sudden she became really distant. Did some searching around and found out she was talking to this other guy. I already had a gut feeling about this guy but I connected the dots. I am depressed. I havent slept the last 4 days and I cant eat anything. I find myself laying in bed, eyes open, all of sudden, I throw up. I am engulfed with anger. I have to be strong now for my mother and I am at the peak of my college career yet I am crumbling. I keep finding my self talking to their friends and what not to find out more information, searching the webs to find more about this guy. I want revenge but I know thats immature. I gave up hobbies and my career so she can be happy. I try to keep things fresh so I always tried to surprise her. I did so much. I feel like I have a gaping hole in my chest. I was at class today, and I just put my head down and started crying. I had to leave. My moms cancer and my gf leaving me is literally making me go insane. I love her, yet I fantasize about revenge. I dont know what Im asking, but I needed to let it out somewhere. Not sure how Im going to get out of this.
Philosoraptor Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 I suggest you find a professional to talk to as you have a lot going on in your life right now. I'm sorry to hear about your mothers condition and I hope she makes a full recovery. You did so much and she didn't give back when you needed her. Honestly it's good you found this out sooner than later. Take solace in the fact that you were willing to do so much for someone, which makes you a good catch and a caring person. Let the revenge thoughts go, as they will just bring you more pain. Right now try to be there for your mother and rekindle those hobbies you let go in the past. Stop digging more information up, as it will just bring you more pain. Work on healing, not revenge. If you truly want the best revenge, move on and let her go, and find the person who will treat you as well as you are willing to treat them. 3
Replaced Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 You're not alone thinking like that in this situation. My ex done the same to me and under bad times and circumstances like yourself. You feel both love and hate for them at the same time. The one person in this world who you thought would be there for you always abandons you and betrays you for another. You can't help but search for validation of your thoughts with this new guy, so you stalk him to find out if they well and truly are "involved" so you can fully believe it when you say "ok, she was a ***** and is not the person I once loved as that person wouldn't have done this to me". However, there's also that hope that you may be proven wrong and find out it was nothing, but deep down, you know how it really is. It's been almost 2 months for me and tbh, I'm still in that same mind-set although it has lessened more and more. Frankly, you've gone through one of the worst experiences there is (besides loosing a loved one). These feelings you're going through, they'll be with you for a while. Just remember, (as I myself have to remember), no matter how **** things get, you have to keep moving forward. You've been emotional knocked down on your *** and it's like escaping from a tar pit trying to work your way out. But if you keep moving forward you will slowly but surely move on and grow as a stronger person because of this. The more we delve in our own self pity over something like this, the longer it takes to heal and work your way out of that tar pit to the point it could eventually consume you. Believe me, myself and many others on here know what you are feeling and what you're going through. I'm so sorry that this has happened to you and what's happening with your mother. This is though times for you, but you will get through this and you will become a stronger person as a result.
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