InsaneTrombone Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 I can't say I've ever been apart of the 'casual dating' crowd before, coming out of a 4 year relationship that was pretty serious. Can someone explain a bit better on how it works? I understand dating multiple people at the same time is a possibility, trying to raise that % for yourself as far as finding someone you like and are compatible with. Is this frowned upon? Encouraged? Typical? How often is typical for a casual dater? One date every week? One every two weeks? Is there ever a certain amount of dates you go on before you have that 'discussion' or sex? Is it normal to be making out and showing affection in public? e.g. holding hands. I imagine a lot of these answers depend on the person, but looking for something kind of broad or average I suppose.
Tinie Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 (edited) I'm casually dating a guy, and it's very sporadic. Last time I saw him was 2 weeks ago (but it's not his lack of interest, it's his job, he's had to pull several late nights to finish a project otherwise his contract will not be renewed). Before that he was texting me every day, until nighttime and he'd wish me a good night every night. He took me out on two dates and paid for everything. We haven't made out or held hands. I'm open to seeing other people. I think it's when you're not sure of what you want, so you fish around in the dating pool to see what's out there and what attracts you. This guy I'm casually dating isn't my guy. I might change my mind- I often do with familiarity- but I'm keeping my options open. So far I've met many men, but only a very tiny percentage of them I've actually been attracted to and wanted an R with. It takes work to sift through all these men, since quite a few of them just want what's in my pants. Edited July 16, 2013 by Tinie Needed to add more stuff
MrCastle Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 How often is typical for a casual dater? One date every week? One every two weeks?[/Quote] It depends. Personally I go through peaks and valleys. Droughts and surpluses. I still can't figure out what, but I feel like most people go through the same. One moment you're on fire, the next nobody wants to even look at you. So it depends on how many people are interested in you at once, and how much free time you have to spend going on dates. Is there ever a certain amount of dates you go on before you have that 'discussion' or sex?[/Quote] I assume this would be more common in OLD dates, or cold approaches. But the overwhelming majority (aka all) my dating prospects come from my social circle. So it's really informal. By the time we've agreed to go out on dates, rapport has already been established. There really is no official discussion. When I ask a girl out, one on one, I'm pretty sure she knows why -- and our calls and texts leading up to the hang out back that up. So it's basically a hang out and see where the night takes you sort of thing. It's not like one of us says, okay, after X dates we will have sex. It's whenever both of us feel comfortable enough to take things to that level. Is it normal to be making out and showing affection in public? e.g. holding hands.[/Quote] If both of you feel comfortable with it, sure. I imagine a lot of these answers depend on the person, but looking for something kind of broad or average I suppose. Exactly. You know, casual dating to me is just a way to: -prevent attachment: if you only have one member of the opposite sex you're talking to/interested in; that's a sure fire way to start doing things that come across as clingy or needy -- even if you're not aware you're doing them. I feel by talking to multiple women, it prevents you from scaring off/smothering one individual girl. -save time: you don't want to spend weeks or months (or worse) trying to pursue the same person. Wasting time, trying to find the right time to make your move. "Do they like me," "do they not like me," etc. Only to find out it was a dead end. With multi dating, you're able to be a little bit more aggressive in your pursuit because if it fails, you know there are other people you can try to progress with. -experience different types of people: this helps me personally find out what I'm going to need when I decide to enter a LTR. If I only date one person at a time or the same kind of person every time, I'll never know. I figure I'm young, I'm single, let me date around and see what I like.
Author InsaneTrombone Posted July 16, 2013 Author Posted July 16, 2013 I'm casually dating a guy, and it's very sporadic. Last time I saw him was 2 weeks ago (but it's not his lack of interest, it's his job, he's had to pull several late nights to finish a project otherwise his contract will not be renewed). Before that he was texting me every day, until nighttime and he'd wish me a good night every night. He took me out on two dates and paid for everything. We haven't made out or held hands. I'm open to seeing other people. I think it's when you're not sure of what you want, so you fish around in the dating pool to see what's out there and what attracts you. This guy I'm casually dating isn't my guy. I might change my mind- I often do with familiarity- but I'm keeping my options open. So far I've met many men, but only a very tiny percentage of them I've actually been attracted to and wanted an R with. It takes work to sift through all these men, since quite a few of them just want what's in my pants. Do you keep casually dating someone you find out isn't working for you, as a woman? Do you keep them hanging around if their pursuing you?
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