Kylie1 Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 So I had a date last weekend and it went ok. We had sex which I regret:/ we are both in our 30s and professionals. Before our date he texted me all day but after our date he texted metro kind of checking on me that's about I.. No smiley faces or cute stuff like before. So I dont know if w thinks I'm easy now:((( before I left his places he said he wanted to meet up this weekend but idk if its gonna happen :/ do you guys think tat it's normal to text less than before after a date or its a bad sign?
ANewBeginning Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 Guys dig the challenge and I think you may have made it too easy for him. But don't stress, happens to the best of us. If you still like him, go on another date. But this time, be more reserved. Make him work harder if he wants the reward. A relationship is built on investment of both parties doing things they don't want to do in order to get to a reward. If you guys like eachother enough and can do that, who knows. 1
Author Kylie1 Posted July 16, 2013 Author Posted July 16, 2013 I agree with you. I regret it now but it's too late:/ I mean I have a very respectable job etc and got things in order... It just happened. Wonder if that's why he doesn't text me as much or he thinks I like him so he doesn't have to try. He apologized about us being intimate. And said maybe we made a mistake but then he texted me to see what I was doing yesterday and today. What bothers is that the number of the texts went down dramatically...
ANewBeginning Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 Sooner or later they were bound to go down. All relationships go through that honeymoon period and the prior where its give and take and chase but sooner or later it has to settle. Now comes the hard part of whether you two actually like eachother and want to persue something or just leave it. And in regards to sex, who cares, we live in the 21st century. You're only human and sex is not some shy little thing you snigger about like when you were in primary school squealing 'boobies' or 'penis'
ChessPieceFace Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 It just happened. Please. You have a functioning brain that can make choices. You could have said "no" at any time. This is the kind of thing that irritates me to no end - women wording things in a way that absolves them of responsibility for their actions. You made a choice to have sex on the first date. Own up to it. - Does he now think you are easy? Yes, because you chose to be easy. - Will he meet up with you this weekend? I guess if he wants to "get some" he will, and that's what he'll be expecting. Have fun trying to say no at this point without making it awkward and a let-down. Lesson learned, I hope? I don't have more advice since this is way too far outside of the universe I live in. 2
kassy Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 Look you had sex on a first date... Hardly the end of the world or anything to be ashamed about. You are both adults in your 30's. It's not a great sign he isn't so responsive now. Leave the ball in his court. I'm more interested in the fact that you described the date as ok. Generally if I'm sleeping with someone then I'd describe our time together As more than ok... If you didn't really feel all that excited after the date then why worry if you see him again? If you only want him to see you again to justify sleeping with him then that's what you need to deal with. If you felt like a roll in the hay and he was around and fit the bill, fine. But leave it there if that's all it was and moving forward you actually want more. If the date was average, you probably weren't going to hear from him anyway, at least this way you got a little action haha 1
StayBeautiful Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 It's fine to have sex on a first date if that's what two consenting adults want. However any kind of sex where one of you feels a need to apologise the next day is probably a mistake. 3
bluegreen Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 The double standard is alive and well and probably always will be. I think the majority of guys just don't see women as 'girlfriend material' when they're perceived as sexually easy. I've heard many, many guys over the years claim that they'd never seriously date a woman who had sex with them on the first date because they'd always be wondering how many other guys she's done that with before doing it with him. OP, this has absolutely nothing to do with a "honeymoon phase being over" for you two - you've spent a total of maybe 12 hours together total with this guy! That did make me chuckle, though. I agree with you and when I posted thread about this I got called judgmental but I guess you can't buy common sense
bluegreen Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 Yes, I saw your thread and thought about it as I was typing my answer here. Not to T/J, but I stand by my post and if I'm called judgmental, I'll still sleep at night. It doesn't change the FACTS. No unfortunately it does not but some people would rather huff and puff then face the truth
hestheone66 Posted July 17, 2013 Posted July 17, 2013 OP, by your own admission the date was just OK... so you slept with him.. you never mentioned if you a) like him b) feel attracted to him. If he is ONLY a warm body that you bumped uglies with, stop thinking about it and move onto another warm body.. you are always better served while in early stages of meeting people if you're single, to not get exclusive for a long time so you can keep your options open and stop obsessing about a lukewarm choice. Like I say to my girlfriends, go on a LOT of dates, not because you're looking to find a perfect man... simply because you can, and to have fun (not in the shallow sense, but in the carpe diem sense)
Recommended Posts