Echo000 Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 My ex and i started texting and talking on phone after four months no contact. This began in May. Since that time, she repeatedly failed to respond to text messages mid conversation, would take 10 hours to respond, would find excuses not to take my phone calls, and would never make an effort to call me back/initiate any real conversation. When i told her i didnt like this and to please let me know if she was too busy/didnt want to text, she said okay. Her behavior never changed. When i said f this im done trying to talk to you then, she would reel me back in saying she loved and cared and didnt mean to do what she was doing. This happened over and over. Fast forward to two weeks ago. Goes on vacation to east coast, and after four days of being there i get a casual text saying she is officially moving there this fall and wants to see me before i leave. Although shocked and hurt, i said i supported and loved her but couldnt talk to her anymore as i need to officially move on. She refused to accept this: "HOW could you just block me and write me off? YOU are making ME feel like a terrible person. WHY cant you show love and support to ME!?" She treated me like garbage this past two months, and then tried making me feel guilty because i want to move on now that i know she is moving. She wants to use me as a source of comfort until she is settled on the east coast- to be able to text and call if she is nervous or uncomfortable- until she no longer needs me. Then she would toss me aside-again. She took me for granted, showed no love or affection back, and strung me along until breaking this news that she is moving away..only to blame and accuse me of making her feel bad when all i did was love and support her, and tell her that because she is moving i need to let her go and cut contact. Im so angry. She took me for granted. Showed no love. No appreciation. And she tried using me. Just wild. She is OUT. If she ever messages me again, i will tell her basically to F off and never respond again if she tries contacting me. What a burn.
Talulah Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 sorry this happened to you. I guess contact after NC is not good. 1
Author Echo000 Posted July 16, 2013 Author Posted July 16, 2013 only good if both people have been working on themselves and love is still there. 1
Talulah Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 I'm sorry Echo000...I really love someone too but he was very honest and straightforward with me about our relationship. He did tell me that he needed distance (we both work abroad), so in his case we might have something in the future. But every person is different. I know that women can be colder than man in break-ups. Big cyber hug:bunny:
simplyamazing Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 Why even bother responding if she does message you? Just ignore it. Not worth it.
Hoaks Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 Sorry to hear about this Echo :(People can be soooo cruel. Im wondering if your ex and mine are sisters
AllTooWell Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 I've been following your threads, I'm sorry to see that this has happened to you. Go back to NC. She has shown you she hasn't changed. You are a better man than that and you deserve better! Big cyber hugs 1
Author Echo000 Posted July 16, 2013 Author Posted July 16, 2013 you guys are all right. Thanks for the responses. She has not changed at all. and its sad because i wake up and think, "how can she be like this? Not even give me a nice goodbye, nor even attempt to be kind or understanding, even as she is the one moving away?" I tried blocking her, but she still can imessage me (stupid iphone, and no cant turn imessage off i need it) so i sit here wondering if she will message me again (she is back in cali for a month before moving away). i HATE that i wonder, but my heart cannot believe she can be so indifferent/oblivious/self centered. I need to stop wondering if she will contact me, its awful and dumb and annoying
JDPT Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 Don't allow her to use you just one last time before she leaves. She has clearly disregarded and neglected you, is ready to move on and will like to use you as a crutch in the process. This is survival now, move on, continue NC and safe yourself future grief. 1
Author Echo000 Posted July 16, 2013 Author Posted July 16, 2013 ya your totally right. i can totally see that her trying to insist previously to meet up one last time was solely for her gain. she couldnt care less that it would have been hurtful toward me. She has disregarded and disrespected me for a while now, and clearly has come to a point where she can move on without losing sleep over it. I am not there yet, but i am also at a point where i refuse to be used by this girl. just hard to accept that her love for me was an immature, needy, and selfish love. Especially when my love for her was actually real. Actually mature. Hence why she can move on so easily while i struggle. Because she no longer needs me, that love is absent and she is totally okay. And watch, i will report here one day if in fact she does ever reach out. Because that wont be the day she shows her love. It will just be an indication that she is in need of me. I am not a man she loves. I am a man she is used to, that she will reach out to only if SHE needs something. Sad. Makes me sad. But i dont want that in my life, now or ever. Just keep trying to remind myself of that.
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