geraldj345 Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 So I have been reading a lot of posts lately and felt it was time to try and get some advice from everyone. My gf dumped me 3 months ago because she said she was too stressed out with everything going on in her life and the constant fighting was too much to handle. When we broke up i did all the mistakes of trying to get her back instead of letting her realize it for herself. We actually got back together a month after BU but then she dumped me a couple days later again. She refused to answer any of my calls saying it was too hard for her and she kept breaking down. She said thru texts that she lost the connection and was having a hard time dealing with our relationship for some time now. After she said that I decided to not chase her anymore because our entire relationship I always was the one to cave and try to work out any problems that we had. I dont recall a time when she reached out to me first. I saw pictures of her and this new guy on countless nights (i assumed it was her rebound that took less than a week to find). After that I deleted her and her friends on facebook to help move forward with my life; that was the last thing I needed to see. The only problem is even after 7 weeks of no contact I am hoping for her to reach out to me and tell me she made a mistake. All i've ever wanted was for her to come chasing me once in our relationship and i am giving up hope that it will never happen. I know I should stay no contact but if i want her back and know she will never reach out am I supposed to stay no contact forever. I always felt if it was something that you wanted you need to make it happen. Any advice will greatly help, thanks!
JDPT Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 You've been doing well for 7 months, remain NC, don't ruin in. Respect your ex's decisions she has been done with the relationship way before you can think it. When women make that type of decision they 99.9% of the time mean it. You have been hanging on for 7 months, it's time to let go, move on with your life.
Author geraldj345 Posted July 16, 2013 Author Posted July 16, 2013 Hi thanks for the reply i just wanted to clarify that it has been 7 WEEKS not 7 months but I understand what your saying. She is defintely the kind of girl who I feel like once her mind is made thats it and there is no changing that. I believe I got too insecure towards to end and started getting jealous that caused her to lose attraction to me. I realized that I was too dependent upon this girl and began doing things for myself since the BU; but I still think we are meant to be together but shes too stubborn to communicate with me. She seems fine with ending things thru texts not even allowing me to expain my side or get any closure.
JDPT Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 Hi thanks for the reply i just wanted to clarify that it has been 7 WEEKS not 7 months but I understand what your saying. She is defintely the kind of girl who I feel like once her mind is made thats it and there is no changing that. I believe I got too insecure towards to end and started getting jealous that caused her to lose attraction to me. I realized that I was too dependent upon this girl and began doing things for myself since the BU; but I still think we are meant to be together but shes too stubborn to communicate with me. She seems fine with ending things thru texts not even allowing me to expain my side or get any closure. Oh the memories, my ex dumped me by way of email, didn't even have the decency to at least call or meet in person without affording me an inch to say a thing. It's all in the past no need to dwell on it, it's old news.
Sneaky Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 I'm on week... something of no contact, I think six but I'm not sure as I'm not really counting anymore. My ex is also introvert and I don't really see her reaching out and I carry the same belief that you have to make things happen in life so I think our situations are somewhat comparable. I'm not going to lie, I do sometimes find myself hoping that my ex will reach out and there are moments where I feel really bad. But at the same time I'm not waiting around for her and I don't think you should either. No contact isn't a way to get the person back, it's a way through which to move on. That is making something happen for yourself. It's her life and her decision just like it was my ex's, you can't make her be with you and I know it's tough letting go but it's out of your hands. You have to focus on yourself. Best of luck.
Author geraldj345 Posted July 16, 2013 Author Posted July 16, 2013 I agree I have definitely not been waiting around for her...there are just those times when its hard to keep busy that she comes up in my head saying she still cares and make me wonder how she would react if I were to reach out now. The first time I reached out she said im so glad you reached out not talking to you was killing me. But then again she still dumped me again a month later. After I blocked her on facebook she requested me the next day but then retracted her request because she problably thought she looked weak. I think that shows she was keeping tabs on me and wondering what I was doing but im sure thats how everyone is now a days with social media. Ever since i unfriended her my friend told me she stopped posting pics of her and this guy, i dont know she was doing it to make me jealous and realized it was a bitch move or just a coincidence.
Sneaky Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 I understand, it is difficult and sometimes a little thing will just remind you of the relationship and hurt, it is the same for me. Don't you think it will hurt a lot more if you break NC and she responds differently this time, though? You'd risk losing the progress you'd made and reopen the wound that you've been trying to heal.
Author geraldj345 Posted July 16, 2013 Author Posted July 16, 2013 I know ive fought and did my part to try and work on the relationship but I just hate thinking that if I dont make more of an effort that I am going to lose her forever. I know anything can happen in the future and if she doesn't make first contact that it wouldn't work out anyways cause I would resent her never making the first move and showing me it meant as much to her to fight for us. I'm looking for a ladies experience with being the dumper of what is going on in their head when the guy finally realized he needs to stop chasing you and disappears from your life. Does it just make it easier for you to move on when he stops or do you actually realize that it was something we could have worked out if we communicated better?
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