Sharing my experience with relationships going wrong [I'm new here]

[Aspies32]

Hello everyone,

 

I'm new in the community, I thought this is the best way to break the ice.

 

I have been in a few bad relationships in the past three to four years.

First I dated a man for about a year he was nice and all but he suffers from mental health issues this got in the way. After him I started dating another man for toe years, who I truly thought was the one. But he too suffers from mental health issues he won’t deal with. I suffer from aspergers syndrome and a rare movement disorder but none of this will I let get in my way. I can't understand why some people who suffer from mental health issues don't try to help themselves or get help when needed plus when it’s right in front of their noses. Both of these men act like their copping well but when you meet them and get personal it’s not so. They lied to me most of the time, never told me I was beautiful or that I was smart or got me flowers or anything like that.

If I was dating a girl I would show my love by doing something for her and telling her. And isn't that a healthy way of having a relationship in the first place?

 

 

Please I need so advice on how not to get in a relationship with a man who is emotionally immature or mentally ill.

[askelina]

well you could look at my questions that i think will help you. see, i think a lot of pp get into relationships cause they are bored or lonely of want the benefits of a relationship but they are not in love, and I think a man needs to be in love with a woman for a relationship to work well. And when you are in love that person is the most beautiful too you and even the most shyest of guys will find a way to let you know he thinks your pretty or cute of that he finds you attractive if he does not do this then there are no true romantic feelings and you would be better off being friends.

 

So my answer to your question would be let him court you and really show he likes you, second look into his past, his friends his daily activities is he someone that does positive things, that is trying to improve himself through his work or activities, ask him about his dreams and goals, what he thinks of life of society of others, what is happiness to him what is success to him ect. also you could ask him what he thinks about mental illness in general, you could bring up a current event that was in the news(or a movie that opens the topic of mental illness) like casually talk about it, don't get to personal in the beginning, and see how attitude is and analyze is his answers make sense to you. you can get all this info in the spam of 6-8 weeks and then you can decide to enter into a relationship or not.

[JDPT]

It's time to start setting boundaries and standards. It's unfortunate that you have met such amazing people who suffered from mental illnesses and refused to seek assistance in that regard. It may be a good time to reevaluate and see what it is that you are looking for in a partner and simply be very honest with yourself and critera. Once you understand that I think you will have an easier time at sorting out your next love.