diaryofar Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 My ex and I broke up about three weeks ago. I hate to admit it, but I usually cope best by rebounding. However, until now, I've never been sexual with anyone besides my ex. During our break up, I became sexual (one time, huge mistake) with another guy, where we both performed Oral sex on each other. My problem is that my ex and I are looking to get back together, and rekindle. I don't know whether I should tell him about this or not. Side Notes: I was 16 when I met my ex, we dated for 4 years. I have never been sexual with anyone besides him. He becomes very jealous of other guys. If I tell him, I don't know if he'll be able to forgive me. He already knows that I spent the weekend with this guy, but when he asked if anything happened, I lied and said no. Now I am feeling very guilty. If I continue to lie to him, we would no longer have an honest relationship. And that's very important to me. I feel like it would be wrong to lie to him about oral with another guy. When I told him about simply sleeping in the same bed as this other guy, it broke his heart. I don't want to hurt him. Really I just need someone who has been through this before to tell me what happened to them in this situation. I'm so confused and I really need some help. Should I keep the lie or tell him the truth?
pteromom Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 You have nothing to feel guilty about. You were broken up, for goodness sake. I would go ahead and tell him the truth, because I get the feeling this will keep eating you up if you don't. He may decide he doesn't want to be with you once you tell him, but you will walk away being honest. 1
AllTooWell Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 I was in the same situation as you. I heal best by rebounding. 2 weeks post BU I rebounded with an extremely attractive guy my ex had been intimidated by before (I had never flirted or spoken with this guy while dating my ex, but I had him on social media and my ex was intimidated because he is incredibly goodlooking lol) Me and my ex were still in contact and at the time, I broke down and told him. He was extremely angry with me. But I remind myself, we were broken up (he had dumped me) and I had asked him to get back together prior to this point. After this, I practically begged for him back and he said no, because of what I had done with the other guy (we just kissed, but not important) I left it at that. I regret it but I also don't believe that he would've gotten back with me if I hadn't kissed the other guy. Obviously that's not going to give you the courage to tell your boyfriend, but it is what it is. I am still happy that I told him because if we had actually gotten back together, I would have felt guilty every time we did anything intimate. I have never cheated or anything like that and never would, but I know that I was honest and that at the end of the day I didn't do anything wrong. I still suggest telling him. If he really loves you and wants to work things out, he will understand. He may need space, he may need time, but if it's meant to be it will be.
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