lost_steak Posted October 24, 2004 Posted October 24, 2004 A month ago I broke up with my girlfriend of over a year. I loved this girl to bits and i still do. But she cheated on me. One night she went out with some of her interstate friends, she was the kind of person who would prefer to stay at home so I was very supportive of the idea. She needed to have fun with her friends and with out me there. But what ended up happening was that she got really drunk and had sex with another guy. To repeat the story is very painful, however i wrote it all down as it seemed to help. The Whole Story (it's kinda long) At the end of the first week I tried to force myself into thinking that it would be all ok, and that I could just move on, but it is not like that. I want her back, but I know that if I do go back that nothing will be the same again. She tells me that she regrets what she has done and wishes that it never happened. A good friend has told me that i should just move on, she did cheat on me after all and what is to say that she won't do it again? But i keep feeling "Will anyone love me again? she says she still loves me" "Whats wrong with me?" "Will i ever find someone else?" Even a month on I still think about her ever day, whenever my mind wanders or I’m not totally focused on something it always go back to her. I just feel like a broken toy. And I’m writing depressing songs for my guitar that just don't make me feel good. So I believe I have 2 choices, 1) Get back with her and try and deal with my new found insecurities? 2) Stay single, try and regain who I once was and stay friends (or maybe not)? Any advice on this topic would be greatly appreciated.
Weird Posted October 24, 2004 Posted October 24, 2004 I personally wouldn't get back with her (I'd never be able to get my mind past her getting plugged by another dude and i would keep thinking she was gonna give me an STD) but that is just me. If you really feel you can forgive her for what she did then go ahead and do it and get back with her. I wouldn't even stay friends with a girl if she cheated on me. To hell with that. It is such a slap in the face...and a kick in the junk.
rapiscan Posted October 24, 2004 Posted October 24, 2004 I'm definitely not going to say that you shouldn't accept her back, only that you should be completely be open with the way you feel. Tell her that you want her back, but you're feeling very scared and insecure. Explain that you don't really know how to trust her right now, but you want to learn again with time. Can she be there for you, while you work through this together? It might be painful, but it could also be worth it.
hulavie Posted October 24, 2004 Posted October 24, 2004 Why should you be answering so many questions at this point? Throw some questions back at her...... Does she want you back? Does she understand fully how her one sad mistake has affected your relationship? Does she want a second chance with you and does she tell you enough reasons why she deserves your forgiveness? Sorry if this sounds mean..... but she did the mistake. So let her regret fully and see if she comes back begging.
Sukotto Posted October 24, 2004 Posted October 24, 2004 I've went through the exact same thing, she went on holiday and ended up hooking up with some guy. Broke up with me 2 weeks later and I found out 2 weeks after the breakup about this guy. I to start thinking about her when my mind wanders and I still contact her and I want to be with her. Though I think I'd always have trust issues if we got back together, when she went out with friends I'd be asking what would she be up to etc. So for these reasons I've just been writing out my feelings for her in a notebook rather than telling her and as time progresses the feelings have changed. I've been slowly getting over it and I've got a few phone numbers from some girls that I've met but I've never had the desire to phone them back. I found it easier to just focus on other things. I've went to the gym 4 times a week since we broke up, I've lost 19lbs and hope to change the remaining fat into muscle and get myself buff. I let things go while in the previous relationship. Also been working a 40 hour week now instead of my usual 20 which helps me occupy that extra time. I hope to get a 3 bedroom flat on my own soon which is what I've put all my energies into saving money for, £850 / month mortgage.
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