Jadedbyluv Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 I don't know why I keep bothering with online dating. I've had absolutely no luck but I don't know where else to meet men. Anyways, this go around I met a man who seemed like a great guy. We talked on the phone and texted a few times. We had made plans based on our schedules because we were both busy after one of our phone conversations. I would text him every now and then to see how he was doing leading up our date. He asked if he could call me before we went on our date and I said that was fine. Not long into the convo, he said I didn't seem that into dating because I didn't call or text him that much. I found it very odd. Lets say we never even made it to the first date. So my question, what's normal? I mean I feel if I texted him and called him all the time, he would be annoyed. It's a lose-lose situation.
Lansing Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 Just tell him that you would rather meet him in person vs. talking on the phone/texting and see how things are in person. Dude sounds needy if he is already telling you this before you have even met. 1
lissa90 Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 I know what you mean about not knowing where to meet men, that's why I online date too. The way I figure things with the whole "texting/phone calling" is to judge it by each individual man. I sort of adapt to their pattern. For instance if I text them and they instantly reply, I'll do the same and get back to them within the same time frame. If they take longer..say half an hour, I'll reply back to their text in 20/30 mins. Some guys like to constantly talk leading up to the date, others don't. You just have to try and follow their lead. Don't smother - if they don't text back, don't keep on texting- and don't be too elusive - don't not text them back for days. Occasionally be spontaneous -call/text first- and see how that goes too. Go with the flow so to speak. This dating thing..crazy stuff.
Fondue Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 (Man's perspective) I do very little phone/texting prior to first meetups usually. I only say "usually" there were a few occasions where I felt the woman was hoping for more communication prior the date, maybe for comfort reasons. Most of the time, if I get her #, I would call (or sometimes text), an already planned date. Time/activity/etc. I wouldn't really call/text after that, I would just meet them. There wasn't ever a need to schedule things or discuss things to do. I felt like if I already had the planned date out, the girls were very easily accommodating and would always show. So basically, I don't think you should be worried about minimal communication. Just go on that date already!
InsaneTrombone Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 If she isn't texting / calling much, 1 text every 4-5 days..or taking forever to respond to a text I sent...I take that as a serious sign of disinterest. You have a cellphone, use it. Yes, don't get into any intimate or important convos through texting or even over the phone, but it's nice to hear back from someone else. Send some flirty messages, ask them how their doing etc etc.
krz12 Posted July 15, 2013 Posted July 15, 2013 It seems odd to spend hours texting someone you have never met. 1
Socks At Play Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 Before a first date I would expect to have one communication on the phone with the woman: to set up the date. Is that what some people think dating is today, sending text messages? 1
MrTurk Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 Before a first date I would expect to have one communication on the phone with the woman: to set up the date. Is that what some people think dating is today, sending text messages? YES! Unfortunately I'm 42...and I can not believe the amount of women near my age....that have told me in email, in text, or on the phone that they like to text a guy for awhile to get to know him before they meet. How the F*** do you get to know someone by texting them??? PLEASE someone answer that for me. I think people like doing the texting crap because it makes them feel special...it takes away the loneliness. But the problem is....that the women that like to text, are usually expecting me to be funny and flirty with them....to garner interest. Why would I flirt with someone via text that I have not met yet? But this is the world we live in today.
MrTurk Posted July 16, 2013 Posted July 16, 2013 So my question, what's normal? I mean I feel if I texted him and called him all the time, he would be annoyed. It's a lose-lose situation. Normal is using the phone, setting up a date....and then meeting in person as said time and place. But good luck with that in this day and age... seems nobody wants to do that anymore
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